The Surrogate
by carrotcake11
Summary: Set in a Dystopian canon era; King Arthur and his wife are unable to bear an heir to the throne. In a time where fertility is rare and surrogacy is the norm. Guinevere's life is sent spinning once she is asked to act as King Arthur's surrogate. AU.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I don't want to give too much about this away, apart from the fact that it's loosely based on The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Attwood. Also, it will be quite dark. It will make a lot more sense as the story progresses. I'm hoping for fortnightly updates**_**(as I need to finish my other story also**_**), but the updates should be relative regular. Please feedback, and I hope you enjoy it.**

**Prologue.**

She wanted to be fertile. She would have given anything to be fertile. But she wasn't, and she was never going to be. And it was as simple as that. Camelot was never going to have an heir, and it was all her fault. It killed her. Knowing she couldn't bear her husband children, it killed her. They'd tried everything. Not magic. Magic is wrong. Magic was the cause of all this. They'd tried everything else, but to no avail. Nothing seemed to work.

Caroline paced around her chambers, rubbing her hands softly on her head. She'd been thinking about it for a while now. A very long while now; but telling Arthur, letting him know what she was thinking, well it frightened her somewhat. It was an absurd idea. Of course it was. He'd never agree to it... but she had to try. She'd never be able to live with herself if she didn't try, if she didn't at least bring the idea up, see his reaction. She loved Arthur, and she knew him well, and although he'd tell her he was okay with not having an heir, it's obvious he was lying. He wanted a child more than anything. A son to train, a daughter to protect, just someone to love. It was eating him up inside. He couldn't tell Caroline that, make her feel any more guilty than she already did, he just couldn't. Caroline understood that, but it wasn't enough to stop her from wanting to please him, desperately needing to make him happy. Fulfilled. She had to tell him her idea. She just had to.

* * *

><p>Guinevere was in need of a job. Any job would do. Anything would suffice; anything that provided enough for her to eat well, dress well, and of course, pay her taxes. She wasn't needy. Not really. Needy women give themselves up. Throw their bodies away, and Guinevere was definitely not one of them. At least that's what she'd tell herself. Deep inside, Guinevere knew she was special, she knew how valuable she was, how important she was, but she didn't let it define her. She didn't let the only thing worth anything about her <em>become<em> her. She knew being fertile was a gift, she knew being fertile was a rarity. She knew many nobles would pay good gold for her work, she'd be able to survive if she signed up to be a surrogate, she'd have more than enough money to keep herself going. but she couldn't. She wouldn't. Her father said being a surrogate is wrong. _"Selling yourself like that. It's dirty."_ Guinevere didn't want to be dirty. She didn't want to be used and abused like all the surrogates were, and she certainly didn't want to be defined as a 'walking womb', a vessel solely made to hold life. No. She had to keep her fertility a secret. She just had to.

* * *

><p>"Never." Arthur's voice came out as a soft whisper. Caroline's brown eyes began to fill up with tears. She was expecting this reaction. She'd have been an idiot to expect anything less.<p>

"Arthur, please."

"Never, Caroline. Never bring this up again." Arthur left her chambers, a deep frown engraved on his face.

He wouldn't be like all the other men, he wouldn't take in a surrogate. How could he? How could he do that to Caroline? He wouldn't abandon his wife like all the other men did. He wouldn't drop her for a newer better, more fertile model. Of course he wouldn't... but he so desperately want a child, an heir, and he'd be lying if he didn't feel a hint of jealousy watching the noble men with their surrogate children. Happy. They were happy, and no matter how had he'd try to convince himself otherwise, he wasn't happy.

* * *

><p>A knock on the door. Guinevere never usually has visitors, apart from Merlin, but he's gone to visit his mother in Ealdor, she missed Merlin. Guinevere walked slowly over to the door, rubbing her eyes softly, a yawn escaping her mouth.<p>

"Can I help you?" She's faced with two guards of Camelot. Stern looking.

"You haven't paid your taxes. You're two weeks overdue." One of them replies, his voice cold.

"Oh."

"I'm afraid we're going to have to reclaim your house."

"But-"

"It isn't up for discussion. The King's orders. If you have any objections, take it up with him." The second interrupted before she could finish. She could feel her face burning up, her eyes filling with tears.

"This is the only place I can stay. I have nowhere to go."

"Sorry." It was rare for any of the guards to show sympathy, so his simple apology shocked Gwen somewhat. She stared at him, her eyes filled with a hint of hope. "But there's nothing we can do."

All hope left Guinevere's eyes shortly after that.

* * *

><p>"What you said, about getting a surrogate." Arthur pauses, taking a bite from his dinner. He and Caroline were having their daily dinner, and the silence felt harsher than usual.<p>

"Yes?"

"We could try one." Arthur lets out, avoiding his wife's gaze.

"Really? You mean it?" A tear rolls down Caroline's cheek.

"Yes. For a few months or so, if she doesn't bear a child for us in that time, we won't try again. We'll just accept it as our fate." Arthur continues, his voice dry. Picking up his fork, he continues eating.

* * *

><p>She'd signed up to be a surrogate. She'd let her fertility be known. It was time for her to be auctioned.<p>

Her auction didn't last long. She'd had a special offer from a very rich noblewoman, an anonymous offer. Guinevere wouldn't find out who she would be working for until she was dropped off at their front door. She wanted someone nice. Someone who would be soft with her. Easy. Laid-back. She knew it was a hopeless dream, but at least she could still dream. She could still hope for the best.

"The surrogate's here." Caroline called into Arthur's chambers. He was pretending to be busy with paperwork, trying to not show any real interest at the arrival of his new surrogate. His new _plaything_, as the other nobles called them. He wouldn't let this be anything more than a chore, he would find nw pleasure in bedding her, impregnating her, and kicking her out once he was done with her. She was a machine.

* * *

><p>"My name's Guinevere."<p>

"Not anymore. As of now, you are Ofarthur." Caroline says softly. She shows Guinevere into her new chambers. It's nice. Homely, but Guinevere didn't want to get comfortable. She didn't want to make this her home.

"You will be staying here." Caroline gestures into the chambers, Guinevere smiles softly. It's a fake smile.

"It's lovely. Thank you." Caroline nods, making to leave. Remembering something, she stops in her tracks.

"Ofarthur?"

"Yes?"

"Have you been a surrogate before?"

Guinevere shakes her head.

"So you have no idea what it entails?"

"No, my Lady."

Guinevere shakes her head again.

"Are you sure you can handle this?"

Guinevere nods this time. She's lying.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Thanks for the positive feedback. I'm glad a lot of you found the premise interesting. This chapter is up a little quicker than most of the other chapters will be, I just had a lot of spare time today. A few questions are answered in this chapter. I hope you enjoy it. Add to Story Alerts and continue reviewing. Enjoy! :D

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1: The Meeting<strong>

Guinevere couldn't sleep; she'd spent the whole night awake. Her mind filled with thoughts of what the following day would entail. Would she... would she have to sleep with him immediately? Would the king even bother to get to know her? Would he be kind to her? Gentle? She was nervous; she didn't want to meet the king. She hated him. She hated him because he was the reason she lost her house, she hated him because he was the reason she was in this whole predicament, and she hated him because he was going to make her feel dirty. He was going to slowly drain the life out of her. What choice did she have? With Camelot in the state its currently in, what choice did anyone have?

"Ofarthur?" Caroline walks into the room, face blank, her voice cold. She already hated Guinevere. She was trying not to, but she couldn't help herself. It was an innate feeling all wives developed. They'd grow to absolutely detest their surrogates. It was inevitable. Though, Caroline's hatred was a somewhat reluctant one. She didn't want to hate Guinevere, of course she didn't. This whole thing was her idea. Guinevere was going to help her. She was going to bring an heir. Everything was going to be okay. This would only last a few months... but why couldn't she stand the sight of her? Why did the thought of Guinevere and Arthur being together make her completely regret her decision? It hadn't even been a day.

"Yes, My Lady?" Guinevere's voice is soft, it's clear she'd been crying.

"The king, my husband, wants to meet you." She'd sounded more defensive than intended. _My _husband. He was hers, and as long she kept reminding herself of that every day for the next few months, she would be okay with this. She'd have to be okay with this. It was too late to turn back now.

"Should I change?" Guinevere stands up, dusting the dirt off her dress frantically, her eyes wide.

"No. Your surrogate uniform will do." Caroline studies Guinevere from head to toe. "Follow me." She begins leaving the room showing Guinevere the way to the throne room.

* * *

><p>Arthur wasn't nervous, more anxious. He didn't want this, in fact, a surrogate was the last thing he wanted, but he had to meet her at one point, and they had to get acquainted eventually. It was best to get it over and done with it. Let this whole process pass as quickly as possible.<p>

His wife walked into the throne room, her face dull and her eyes pale. She hadn't been sleeping well. None of them had been sleeping well. Guinevere follows on shortly after her, her eyes down as she fiddles with her bright red Surrogate gown. All surrogate had to wear the official uniform, consisting of a long red gown which hides their body, their innocence, and a white head-scarf. The veil only had to be worn if they out in public. A surrogate should never let herself be seen. It's too dangerous._ Being seen is to be penetrated._ Guinevere's curly hair frames her young face, her gown concealing her feet. Arthur studies her, showing no emotion. He turns to smile at his wife before nodding, gesturing for her to leave. Caroline struggles to hide her disappointment. Why did he want to be alone with her? Why did she even care? Why was she so worried? Forcing a smile, she returns the nod, making her way out of the throne room.

Arthur and Guinevere are left alone.

* * *

><p>Merlin had been to Guinevere's house and was shocked to find it empty. Guinevere hadn't mentioned anything about leaving Camelot. Merlin began to think the worst. It wasn't rare for fertile women to be kidnapped, sold off to slave traders. Merlin frowns, quickly making his way to the castle.<p>

* * *

><p>"What's your name?" Arthur leaves his throne, making his way slowly to Guinevere.<p>

"Ofarthur." Arthur smiles a little at her response. He immediately stops himself.

"I meant your real name." He continues, trying to keep his voice stern. Trying to devoid himself of any emotion.

"Oh. I don't think Queen Caroline wants me using my real name. It's not as professional." Guinevere replies softly, her eyes still firmly facing the ground.

"Of course. I should have known that. Of course." Arthur frowns to himself.

"Have you been a surrogate before?"

"No."

"How are you so sure you're fertile?"

"My time of the month is frequent."

"Ah." Arthur's face takes a sad expression. "Caroline doesn't have her time of the month."

Guinevere doesn't say anything.

"Do you have any questions?"

Guinevere shakes her head.

"You're very quiet." Arthur says, moving closer to her. "Head up." He orders, "I want to see your face." She slowly raises her head, trying her best to avoid looking him in the eye.

Arthur analyses her face. He stares at her eyes, her nose, her lips and is annoyed at himself for finding her a little attractive. He had no desire to do anything with her, and he was worried that lack of desire would render him useless when it came to performing the act.

"Forgive me sire, but I do have a question." Guinevere's voice startles him.

"What is it?"

"How often." She pauses, unsure of how to articulate her thoughts. "How often do we have to..."

"That's up to Caroline. We won't do anything without her consent." Arthur quickly replies, finally locking eyes with Gwen. She nods.

"You may go now."

* * *

><p>Merlin had been outside Arthur's chambers, waiting impatiently for his return. He was anxious, worried. What if Arthur had started reclaiming taxes like he said he would? What if Guinevere had been sent to the colonies? It didn't bear thinking about; the colonies. No one survives there. Merlin shook off his thoughts as he noticed Arthur approaching, forcing a smile he opens the door for Arthur, allowing him to enter his chambers. After closing the door, he walks over to face Arthur who is now seated behind his work table.<p>

"Merlin, what is it?" Arthur wasn't in the mood to talk. He wasn't in the mood for anything. All he really wanted was to disappear. Vanish.

"Sire, I have a question."

"Spit it out." Arthur's voice grows even colder.

"Sire, did you go ahead with your plans to reclaim the houses of those who couldn't pay the taxes?" Merlin asks, his voice reluctant. It wasn't always like this, there was a time when Merlin didn't have to be so careful when speaking to the King, but that time was so long ago. Neither of them could scarcely remember it. They'd since reverted to speaking on a strictly professional basis. Merlin was the servant, Arthur was the king and he would address him as such.

"Yes. Why?" Arthur's words stun Merlin. His eyes widen as he begins fearing the worst.

"Then she's gone. All hope is lost." Merlin mutters under his breath subconsciously.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing, sire. Nothing." Merlin quickly walks out of Arthur's chambers, his breathing laboured as he begins to sob quietly. Guinevere was gone.

* * *

><p>Dinner time. It was customary for the surrogate to have dinner with her Commander and his wife. It would help improve the relationship between them. Guinevere didn't want to have dinner with them. She wanted nothing to do with them. Why couldn't they just leave her alone? Leave her be? She only wanted to have to see Arthur if it was necessary. Was having dinner with them really going to help?<p>

Still wearing her surrogate uniform, Guinevere walks into the dining hall, her heart racing. She hated being this nervous all the time, but she couldn't help it. It was all so alien to her. She was living in the castle, acting as King Arthur's surrogate. It was an alien concept. Taking a seat opposite Caroline, she keeps her eyes down on the table, avoiding eye contact. If she looked Caroline in the eye, there was a chance she could sense her fear, detect her discomfort. Guinevere didn't want that. Caroline clears her throat in an attempt to break the silence. Guinevere keeps her head down.

"The king won't be joining us." Caroline says, her eyes fixated on Guinevere. She's irritated at Guinevere's reluctance to look at her. Her apparent modesty was irksome. It would be a lot easier to hate her if she was a harlot. "Aren't you going to ask why?"

"Why?" Guinevere retorts quickly.

"He's decided to have dinner with his knights." Caroline replies sadly. "That's normal, he does this weekly." Caroline quickly adds, a model smile on her face. She was getting better at pretending to be happy with her marriage. She knew the baby would improve things, she'd convinced herself, the baby_ would_ improve things. Make things better. He'd love her like he used to.

* * *

><p>Sir Gwaine takes a large swig of his ale, a smile on his face.<p>

"You've finally given in, then?" He says, his voice slurred. Arthur frowns at his drunken friend, annoyed.

"It was Caroline's idea. Not mine. I still don't think it's a good idea." Arthur replies, his tone defensive.

"You'll quickly warm to it." Gwaine continues laughing. He wasn't always like this, but get a drink down him and the worst in him would appear.

"How's Ofgwaine?" Arthur asks, trying to change the subject.

"She's pregnant. This'll be her second."

"Keep her safe. You know how jealous the other wives get." Arthur adds.

"I know. I heard about Ofleon's baby. They say she miscarried, but it's obvious Elaine's jealousy got the better of her." Gwaine pauses, staring at Arthur. "Are you sure Caroline won't be the same?"

"Excuse me?"

"You know? The jealous type. Not all wives are as understanding as my Vivette." Arthur's face begins to take one of worry.

"Caroline wouldn't. It was her idea." Arthur shakes his head vigorously. "No, of course she wouldn't." Arthur notices Gwaine's unconvinced smirk. "I love my wife."

"I wasn't suggesting you didn't."

"I do. I love her, but I'm the king. I need an heir. Camelot needs an heir. This surrogate will be just that, a surrogate. I won't let her become my pet. I won't be like _you_." Arthur's anger grows.

"There's no need to get so tetchy, sire. I just want to offer you some friendly advice. Man to man," Gwaine slurs. He moves his face closer to Arthur's until it's just inches away.

"Really? And what's that?"

"Detaching yourself isn't easy." Gwaine's tone turns serious. "It's hard. You'll try and try to tell yourself that it's just an act, something you ought to do in order to get a child, nothing meaningful. You'll be lying to yourself. Those surrogates..."

"Gwaine, please." Arthur interrupts, his face filled with disgust.

"Those surrogates, they poison you. They make you want them." Arthur stares deep into Gwaine's eyes, his heart racing.

"I'm going home. To my wife. The woman I love." He replies, spit escaping his mouth as he does so. Once he leaves Gwaine's home, he begins contemplating his words. _They make you want them_. He wouldn't her. She was nothing to him. He was going home to his wife.

He was going home to his wife, and his surrogate.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: So glad so many of you are reviewing, and that so many of you are actually enjoying it. To answer a few questions: Yes, there will be romance in the story. And yes, there will be many obstacles. But... it is an Arthur/Gwen story, so don't worry... that will take centre stage! Apologies for any typos.**

**Here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it. Please continue to review and add to story alerts. It's the most encouraging thing. :D**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

**Dinner.**

Caroline was going to visit her mother, she wanted Arthur to come with her, keep her company, but he'd decided against the idea. He shouldn't leave the kingdom unattended to. It's already in a sorry enough state. What would the people think if he left for such an unimportant trip? Caroline was hurt, she didn't show it of course. She gave her signature nod and smile, climbed onto her horse, and left Camelot. She'd be back in a week.

Until then, Arthur was going to be alone with his surrogate.

* * *

><p>"Merlin. Can you check on Ofarthur? Check if she's awake." Arthur says to Merlin whilst taking off his chainmail. Merlin hadn't been told about the new addition, he had no idea Caroline and Arthur had hired a surrogate and so was finding it difficult to hide his surprise at Arthur's words.<p>

"Ofarthur?"

"Oh, didn't I tell you?"

"I'm afraid you didn't, sire." Merlin shakes his head, picking up Arthur's chainmail as he makes his way to the wardrobe before hanging it up.

"It was Caroline's idea." Arthur pauses, staring at his servant. "To get a surrogate." He pauses once more, lost in thought. "Anyway, it isn't really any business of yours. Go check on her, will you? She's staying at the guest chambers in the third floor. Tell her to come see me." Merlin nods, making his way out.

What on earth was Arthur thinking? Getting a surrogate, he was always completely against the whole notion. He thought it was barbaric, ludicrous. _Thought._ Past tense. He clearly no longer felt that way. Arthur had changed a lot of over the past five years.

* * *

><p>A knock on the door. Guinevere could feel herself getting nervous again. What if it's the king? What if he wants to...<p>

Checking herself in the mirror, Guinevere walks over to the door, she opens it to reveal Merlin. Unsure of how to react, she stares at him.

"Guinevere?"

"Merlin." She replies moving away from the door, allowing him to enter her chambers.

"You're alive. I thought you'd gone to the colonies."

Guinevere stays silent.

"I thought you were dead-"

"I might as well be." Guinevere replies, her tone cold. Merlin studies her. He wants to hug her, be normal with her. But he can't. Not now.

"You're Arthur's surrogate."

"Yes?"

"Nothing." Merlin continues studying his friend. He can't find the right words to say. "Why?" He lets out, his eyes still fixated on her. Guinevere looks away, ashamed.

"Lost my home. I had no choice."

"You could have come to me." Merlin moves closer to her, the desperation in his voice growing. "You should have come to Ealdor."

"There's no way I'd have survive the journey. Bandits would have kidnapped me. You know they would have." Guinevere replies bluntly. Merlin nods, forcing a smile.

The silence takes over.

"The king wanted me to check up on you. Check if you were awake."

"I'm awake." Merlin smiles at her response. His smile quickly fades once he realises how tired Guinevere looks. How sad her face is. Her eyes look completely empty. Dead.

"He wants to see you. He's at his chambers."

Guinevere nods. Merlin makes his way out, but stops briefly once he reaches the door of her chambers.

"I'm glad you're alive, Guinevere."

"I'm glad I'm alive too, Merlin."

* * *

><p>What was taking her so long? Arthur was pacing in his chambers. He and Caroline discussed him performing the act before she left to visit her mother. Caroline said he should try at least once in her absence. If he wasn't going to accompany her, he might as well use it as an excuse to try out his new surrogate. See if she's what they're after. If he's able to impregnate her. If being with a surrogate was something Arthur was actually capable of doing. Arthur was unsure. He was worried. Scared, even. Could he really do this? Could he really bed another woman?<p>

"Sire."

Arthur turns to see Guinevere standing by the door of his chambers. He gestures for her to come closer.

"Ofarthur." He replies. Staring at her. She was probably about twenty Maybe less.

"You wanted to see me?"

"Yes."

"What about?"

Arthur pauses. Why did he want to see her? He wasn't entirely sure.

"Are you okay?"

Guinevere nods.

"Settling in well?"

She nods again.

"Do you need a maid?"

"No. I can manage." Guinevere lifts her head, meeting the King's penetrative gaze. She immediately looks away. He was intimidating. How was she going to do this?

"We should try in a few days." Arthur lets out. Still staring at her.

"Okay."

"Are you okay with that?"

She nods.

"Good." Arthur pauses, a forced smile plays on his face. "The rest of the day is yours, however, be back in time for dinner." Arthur notices Guinevere's frown. She didn't want to have dinner with him. She didn't want to do anything with him. "I don't like eating alone." Arthur says, almost justifying himself.

He moves closer to her.

"Do you like eating alone?" Arthur asks. He's beginning to find her intriguing. Her quiet demeanour is irritating yet engaging at the same time.

"I don't really mind it." She's still avoiding his gaze.

"What is your name?"

"Ofarthur."

"No. Not that. That's not your name." Guinevere's eyes widen. Was this a test? What was she supposed to say? It was in the rules. You're never to reveal your real name to a Commander. It isn't done.

"My name is Ofarthur." Arthur rolls his eyes at Guinevere's response, smirking a little.

"My name is Arthur Pendragon. What is your name?" He persists.

"I don't understand."

"What don't you understand?"

"Is this a test?" Guinevere asks, meeting eyes with Arthur's. "Are you checking to see how professional I am?"

Arthur guffaws.

"Why are you laughing?" Guinevere retorts, a little louder than intended. She hated the way he made her feel. Inferior.

"You're funny, that's all." Arthur walks away from her, towards the window. Guinevere resists the urge to ask what's funny about her. She wasn't expecting the king to be like this. It confused her. "You're just really funny." He continues, still facing the window.

Arthur sighs heavily.

"My name's Guinevere."

He turns around slowly, meeting Guinevere's gaze.

"Guinevere..." He smiles softly. "That's much better than Ofarthur." Guinevere doesn't know to respond. So she doesn't.

"So, Guinevere. Will you have dinner with me? I'm not sure if I'll be able to cope in Caroline's absence." Arthur continues.

"Why don't you like eating on your own?" Guinevere asks before she can stop herself. She places her hands over her mouth, annoyed with herself. Arthur smiles again.

"Being a king is very lonely. Eating alone just makes me feel... well, it makes me feel completely alone." Arthur clears his throat. He was opening up to her. This was wrong. It wasn't done. Surrogates aren't counsellors. You don't speak to them. You use them. Take advantage of them. Squeeze them dry, and then throw them away. It was hard to do that with Guinevere, because she seemed so innocent. The thought of having to perform the act with her repulsed Arthur somewhat. He didn't want to touch her. Hurt her. Contaminate her. She wasn't his to contaminate. She wasn't his wife. She wasn't Caroline. Why couldn't Caroline just be fertile?

Why did his wife have to be barren?

"I'll have dinner with you." Guinevere replies. Arthur nods, his train of thought cut short.

"You may go now." His voice grows stern again. He'd been too nice to her. He knew her name. He shouldn't have asked. Why did he ask? Why did he care so much? What was he doing? If Caroline knew...

He had to get this over and done with. Sir Gwaine was wrong.

* * *

><p>Caroline's mother was dying. She knew it, and she wasn't going to delude herself into thinking otherwise. She had a year to live at most, a month at the least. All Caroline's mother wanted was to live to see her grand-children, hold them in her hands, then she could die happy. It was another reason why Caroline was so desperate for the surrogacy to work, why she had to grin her teeth and bear it. She couldn't disappoint everyone.<em>"Being Queen isn't about putting yourself first. It's about putting the needs of your people above yours.<em> _The needs of those you love. Those you adore."_ Those were always her mother's words of advice. Caroline had always known being a queen wouldn't be easy, but she wasn't expecting it to be this hard, this painful, this heart wrenchingly hurtful. Why did that witch have to cast that curse over the women of Camelot? Why couldn't she have been one of the lucky few who were immune? Why did she have to be barren? Questions without answers.

Sighing heavily, she walks into her mother's room, struggling to contain her tears as she observes her mother, old and frail, knitting. All unwomen took to knitting as a hobby. Caroline didn't want to knit; she didn't want to get too comfortable in her role as an unwoman.

"Mother." She lets out softly, kneeling in front of her mother's chair. Caroline's mother, Elizabeth, smiles.

"You came. Is the king with you?"

Caroline shakes her head.

"No. He had more important business to take care of. He'll visit whenever he's able to." Caroline smiles. Her hands locked with her mother's.

* * *

><p>Merlin pours water into Arthur's empty goblet. Arthur nods. Merlin stops and walks slowly over to Guinevere, he pours water in her goblet also, filling it to the brim. Guinevere smiles, but not too widely, she didn't want Arthur knowing about her and Merlin's friendship. He'd get suspicious. He'd sack her if he knew she was friendly with any male, let alone his own servant. Guinevere couldn't afford to be sacked.<p>

"That will be all Merlin. You may leave."

Merlin nods, leaving the dining hall.

Arthur and Guinevere are left alone. An awkward silence plagues the room as Arthur begins eating. He chews slowly, his eyes fixed on Guinevere, Ofarthur. He hated the fact that she was so quiet. He'd always heard stories about Surrogates being loud, confident, the complete opposite of what they were meant to be... but Guinevere, well she seemed to be the model surrogate. Perfect, even. It annoyed the king.

"I've decided." Arthur drops his fork, swallowing slowly. "I'm getting you a guardian."

Guinevere doesn't react. She stares at the food in front of her, unsure of what to say.

"Do you have any objections?"

"No, sire."

"Good. I'll hire one after dinner. He'll begin tomorrow."

Arthur picks up his fork again and resumes eating.

* * *

><p>"A surrogate? Oh, how wonderful, Caroline!" Elizabeth says, beaming at her daughter. She coughs shortly after, she'd strained her voice in her excitement. Caroline hands her a glass of water.<p>

"Camelot needs an heir." Caroline's voice is solemn.

"You don't sound happy."

"I am."

"There's no need to worry. It'll be _your_ child. Yours and Arthur's, surrogates are merely a vessel. You know that."

"I know."

"Your cousin Elena was born of surrogacy." Elizabeth persists.

"I know."

"Then why the glum face?"

"Arthur doesn't love me anymore." Caroline's eyes fill up with tears. "I know he doesn't. This surrogate is my last chance."

"Caroline, you worry too much." Elizabeth laughs softly. "Of course Arthur loves you. You're the perfect Queen."

"No I'm not. I can't give him a child. That's why he's stopped loving me. If this surrogate doesn't give us a child. He'll slowly grow to hate me. I know he will." Caroline continues, the tears in her eyes growing. Her mother wipes the tears off her soft cheek, but they are quickly replaced.

* * *

><p>The silence continues through the dinner. Guinevere barely touches her food. She wasn't hungry.<p>

"Why do I need a Guardian?" Guinevere finally asks.

"You're fertile. You're like gold dust to many. You need to be protected." Guinevere stares at the king, not entirely understanding what he is implying. "I don't want anybody using you against your will." He replies bluntly. "Do you understand?"

Guinevere nods.

"A Guardian is there to protect you. Make sure you're safe. A Guardian ensures that no harm comes to you."

She nods again.

"I don't mean to scare you with horror stories."

"You haven't. I understand. My father's told me many stories about surrogates." Guinevere replies, surprising herself. She'd spoken about her father.

"Really?"

"Yes." She stops herself from revealing more than she should. More than is considered professional.

"Are you going to elaborate?"

"I'm sure it's nothing you haven't heard before, sire." Guinevere begins eating, anything to stop herself from talking.

"I'm sure." Arthur stares at her. Clearing his throat. He stands up, making his way out. Upon reaching the doors, he turns around.

"Guin-Ofarthur?"

"Yes, sire?"

"You can talk to me; you know that, don't you? We're going to be performing the act, it won't mean anything, but if we can't communicate with each other, it _will_prove difficult." Arthur says, a soft smile playing on his face a little. Guinevere nods. Arthur laughs softly at her response before exiting the dining hall.

Guinevere is left alone. She ponders over her dinner with the king. He confused her, and she hated it.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Once again, thank you, thank you, thank you for the wonderful feedback. I know a lot of you have questions, but I promise they will be answered as the story progresses. I like hearing where you think the story is going to go, your ideas always put a smile on face.

Here's the next chapter. I enjoyed writing it, took me a while to finally get round to doing it. I have a lot of exams this week, but I hope you like it!

Keep reviewing and adding to story alerts. :D

Once again, apologies for any typos. I have no beta.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3: The Guardian.<strong>

Caroline stares at herself in the mirror, hating what she sees staring back, hating everything about herself. Everything from her long dark brown hair, to her brown wide-eyed eyes and the faint freckles scattered over her soft face. She'd never thought much about herself. She'd always thought she was a bit plain, not like all the other girls. Caroline could never quite understand why Arthur had fallen for her, _Prince Arthur,_ he could have had the choice of any girl, anyone, and yet he chose barren Caroline. Of course Arthur didn't know she was an unwoman at the time, they had to go by the signs. Fertile women were often described as being petite, having long hair and possessing a full chest. Caroline had all those things... but yet she still wasn't fertile. She couldn't help but wonder if Arthur was regretting his choice, maybe if he would have been better off marrying his father's choice of Princess Mithian. Maybe if _she_ would have been better off if he'd married someone else. Maybe she wouldn't feel this heavy weight on her shoulder all the time, maybe she'd finally have the peace of mind she so longed for.

Sighing heavily, she walks away from the mirror, finally having the strength to force a smile on her face.

* * *

><p>Arthur had chosen Lancelot Du Lac. He'd heard many good things about Lancelot; it wasn't his first time of being a guardian, which is always a good sign. He hadn't had a bad review either; most guardians cross the line, they try things with the surrogates. Arthur didn't want that. He wanted someone he could trust, someone sensible, someone with a heart of gold, and Lancelot fitted the brief. He was also very quiet and had a serious edge to him. He didn't smile much, then again not many of the people of Camelot smiled much. There wasn't much to smile about.<p>

"I think you should introduce yourself." Arthur says to Lancelot. They're at Arthur's chambers and Lancelot hadn't said a word since receiving his job.

"Where is she staying, sire?" Lancelot replies, his voice deep, a rough edge to it. Arthur stares at him.

"Merlin will show you." Arthur pauses. "Merlin's outside my chambers waiting to be summoned. Once you leave my chambers, just tell him I won't be needing his services at the moment and that he should take you to see Guineve-Ofarthur- Her name's Ofarthur by the way." Arthur pauses again, losing his train of thought. "He'll take you to see her, and you can get acquainted. Tell her who you are, and let her know the terms on which you will be guarding her. I don't want her feeling like a prisoner."

Lancelot nods, making his way out of Arthur's chambers. Arthur is left alone.

* * *

><p>"So, you're the guardian?" Merlin was attempting to make conversation. Lancelot wasn't in the mood for conversation. Merlin doesn't take a hint. Walking slowly towards Guinevere's chambers, he continues to pester Lancelot, hoping for some sort of response. Merlin didn't have much friends, he was always eager to talk to someone, anyone. All the other servants were so serious, sensible... Merlin hated it.<p>

"Have you been a guardian before?" He persists. Lancelot still doesn't respond.

"You're very quiet." Merlin sighs. "Why is everyone in this kingdom so scared of talking?"

"Eyes." Lancelot finally responds, much to Merlin's surprise.

"What?"

"The eyes." Lancelot repeats.

"You don't believe that, do you?"

"It would explain a lot." Lancelot turns to face Merlin, his face cold.

Upon reaching Guinevere's chambers, their conversation is cut short. Merlin leaves Lancelot behind as he makes his way back to Arthur.

* * *

><p>Elizabeth was brushing Caroline's hair. She'd walked in on her daughter weeping and was understandably worried. Her daughter was always described as a sad child, she didn't quite believe it. There was always hope in her daughter's eyes, or so she'd like to believe. Where was that hope now? Surely, with this new surrogate, Caroline should be more hopeful? She should be happier? Feel more fulfilled.<p>

"My dear, why are you crying?" Elizabeth stops brushing. She takes a seat next to Caroline, her hands resting softly on her daughter's. Caroline stops sobbing, wiping the tears from her face as she raises her head up to face her mother.

"Do you think Arthur made the right decision in marrying me?" Caroline asks, all her insecurities moulded into one question. Even on their wedding day, she never felt like she was quite enough. She'd always felt a little empty, but she did feel loved. Loved by Arthur. She was told whatever emptiness she was currently feeling would be disappear with the arrival of a child. Four years had passed, no child, she still felt empty and to make matter worse, she no longer felt loved.

"Caroline, please stop talking like that. Stop talking nonsense." Elizabeth answers. It's the perfect answer, but it doesn't work.

"I know I have no right to feel this way, I know I don't." Caroline pauses. "But the thought of him being with her, the thought of him making love to her..."

"Stop right there. It's not love. You know it's not love. Don't ever associate that word with surrogates. You'll give them the opportunity to overstep the mark. Surrogates are toys. Remember that." Elizabeth's anger grows a little. Caroline nods.

"Now, repeat after me. Surrogates are toys." Elizabeth continues. Caroline raises her head up, the tears have now stopped flowing.

"Surrogates are toys." She repeats.

"Once more."

"Surrogates are toys."

"Good."

* * *

><p>"I am Lancelot Du Lac. I will be your guardian." Lancelot is in Guinevere's chambers, they're standing opposite each other, an awkwardness filling the room.<p>

Guinevere already hated him. She didn't need looking after. She didn't want looking after. She could look after herself.

"I'm Ofarthur." She responds, her tone cold. He wasn't her commander; she didn't have to show him so much respect. She didn't intend to. She only wish she could speak to Arthur in the same way, make _him_ feel inferior.

"I should explain the terms on which I will be guarding you." Lancelot continues. "I shall accompany you whenever you go out, that is for shopping, for visits, on your days off and various other trips. If you need me for anything else, I will gladly oblige. I am here to protect you."

Guinevere stares at him, she fidgets with her gown.

"I don't need you for anything right now. You can go." Her voice is still cold. Her father had warned her about guardians.

"As you wish."

* * *

><p>Merlin had been helping the king train, in awkward silence, as was usual, the way it had been done for the past 3 years. Merlin would be lying if he said he didn't miss their old friendship. Ever since Uther's death, Arthur had changed.<p>

Throwing off his chain-mail, Arthur walks over to Merlin.

"Once you're done putting the armour away, go to Ofarthur's chambers. Tell her I wish to speak to her." Arthur says sternly. Merlin is about to speak, but decides against it. Instead he nods, smiling at the king. Arthur walks off, wiping the sweat of his forehead as he does so.

* * *

><p>"Surrogates are toys." Surrogates are toys. Caroline liked that motto, it gave her comfort. Ofarthur was merely a toy. Toys are nice for a while, then they become old and tattered, they become unwanted, old, dirty. Ofarthur was going to become all those things. She'd bear a child and become useless, she'd be a broken toy, and then Arthur wouldn't want her anymore, he'll want his wife... his pure, clean, wife. A smile plays on Caroline's face.<p>

Her mother always did know how to make her feel better.

* * *

><p>"You wanted to see me." Guinevere is in the throne room, facing Arthur. He gestures for the two guards standing at opposite sides of his throne to leave, leaving he and his surrogate alone.<p>

Standing up, he walks closer to her.

"Yes. I think we should try tonight."

Guinevere swallows hard. She'd been dreading this. Really dreading it. She'd been stupid to, she had to do it at some point. If they start now, maybe she could get used to idea. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Guinevere was unconvinced.

"As you wish, sire."

"Be ready at my chambers by sundown." Arthur says bluntly. He didn't want this either, but putting it off was only making him more anxious and less able get his head around the idea. Better now. Better to do it. Get used to her.

* * *

><p>Sundown. Lancelot was at his chambers. Alone. Thinking, he always tried not to think too loudly. In case the eyes could hear him. His mother always said the eyes could hear your thoughts, never be too patriotic. Never think too positively, they feed on that. Lancelot was paranoid.<p>

Merlin was at his home. Ever since Gaius left Camelot, Merlin hated his home. If you could call it that. He was so alone. Now he'd lost his best friend. The only person he thought he had. Guinevere was a surrogate now. There's no way things will ever be like they used to. He'd already began to miss her.

Arthur was waiting impatiently at his chambers, waiting for his surrogate to arrive. His eyes are fixed on the door as watched anxiously, waiting for the door knob to turn indicating her arrival. His hands were wet with sweat. He'd thought it through. He'd pretend she was Caroline. He'd close his eyes, and he'd picture Caroline's face. That would make it easier. If he didn't have to see her face, he could do it. He could just pretend. He could just imagine that she was his wife, it wouldn't be so- the door knob turns. Arthur stops thinking as he straightens himself up. Why was he so nervous? Guinevere walks in. Wearing white. White. _Ironic_. She walks slowly over to him, until they're just inches away from each other.

Guinevere knew the rules. You wait for your commander to make the first move. You let him do whatever he wants to. You don't have to reciprocate, but you have to let him. It's what you signed up for.

Arthur moves closer to Guinevere, closing the gap between them. He stares at her. Raising his hand he places it softly on her cheek.

"I can't do this." He lets out, his voice strained. A sigh of relief escapes Guinevere's mouth. He walks away from her. His back turned. "You probably think I'm pathetic. The king can't even impregnate a surrogate. He's too weak to detach himself." Guinevere shakes her head, but he doesn't see. "I _am_ weak. Maybe that's the real reason Caroline can't bear a child, because of me, because I'm weak. Maybe if a real man was with her, she wouldn't feel so useless." Arthur's words run away from him before he can think. Before he can stop himself and realise how completely unprofessional this is. How wrong this is. It's easy. You just use them. You take advantage of them. That's what surrogates are there for.

Arthur sits down on his bed, his hands placed over his face.

"We can keep up the pretence." Guinevere says, taking a seat next to him on the bed.

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't have to leave now. I can spend the night here, then the witness outside won't know we aren't performing the act." Guinevere didn't know why she was suggesting this, but she was. She felt she owed to him. For not touching her.

"You don't have to do that. You can't keep pretending. Not forever."

"It was just an idea." Guinevere replies, feeling a little stupid.

"The people will figure it out once I fail to impregnate you after numerous tries." Arthur pauses, staring at Guinevere. Guinevere smiles a little. "That's the first time I've seen you smile."

Guinevere looks away, unsure of how to react.

"You're like Caroline. You don't smile much." Arthur sighs. "You have a nice smile. You should use it more." Guinevere still doesn't reply. He was being nice to her. It felt strange.

"I'm going to bed." Arthur stands, taking his shirt off. "You can sleep on the bed next to me. Don't worry. I won't touch you. I can't." He stares at her. "I think we should try the keeping up the pretence idea." Guinevere nods. "Until we're ready to try it for real." A soft smile plays on Arthur's face. He slips under the covers, lying on his bed as he stares up at the ceiling.

Guinevere slips in on the opposite side. Their bodies tense at the presence of each other.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Hello! Once again, I have to express my gratitude at the amount of you reviewing and adding to story alerts/favs etc. It's much appreciated and I don't think you know how much it really motivates writers when they receive reviews, so thank you, keep at it. Now, here's the next chapter. Quite a bit happens in it, and we do learn a little more about the eyes and the curse. I hope you enjoy it! I loved writing it. Apologies for any typos. And as always, feedback is adored and appreciated.**

**Chapter 4: Shopping.**

Caroline was due back from her trip today and Arthur was anxious, in a good way. He'd missed his wife over the past week and was eager to see her, hear about her mother, how she'd been... but he was also worried. He'd have to lie to her, about performing the act with Ofarthur. What if she asks about details? She wouldn't... would she? Arthur hoped not. He didn't know what he would say, could he make something realistic up? What if he described it in too much detail, Caroline might start to believe he was enjoying this. He was hoping she just wouldn't mention it, she'd ignore the elephant in the room. Arthur couldn't get the past few nights out of his mind, he and Guinevere had been sharing the same bad. He'd found it a little strange at first, sharing his bed with someone other than Caroline, he also found it strange how easily he fell into a deep sleep each time, how lying with Guinevere, doing nothing, was so stress-free.

Caroline and Arthur had stopped sharing chambers a year ago. The cracks in the marriage were deeper than ever at that point. They'd occasionally share the same bed, about once a week, or once in a fortnight, anything to make them feel better about their sorry excuse for a marriage, but each night they _did_ spend together was filled with Arthur having to pretend he couldn't hear Caroline quietly sobbing. He'd try to touch her, but she wouldn't let him. Arthur could barely remember the last time they performed the act, for pleasure anyway. He was hoping that upon her arrival today things would be different. He'd promised himself in her absence that he would make more of an effort with regards to their marriage, he'd sweep her off her feet like he used to, she wouldn't flinch so much at his touch, and maybe now, each time he kissed her, the butterflies would return.

* * *

><p>Merlin had decided to check up on Guinevere, he hadn't seen her much the past few days, he really just missed talking to her. Talking to her about mindless things, it was a form of escapism, for both of them.<p>

"Guinevere, thought I'd check up on you." Merlin walks into her chambers, holding a tray of food. Guinevere steps away from her mirror, walking over to Merlin, a smile on her face. She enjoyed his visits, it made her feel less alone.

"That's nice of you, Merlin." Guinevere replies, her eyes scan down from Merlin's face to the tray of food he's holding. "You don't have to keep getting me breakfast like this, you're not my servant." She adds.

"I know. I just like having an excuse to speak to you." Guinevere smiles again. Silence takes over. Merlin clears his throat placing the tray on Guinevere's dining tale. "Gwen..." Gwen, she couldn't remember the last she was referred to as Gwen. It reminded her of the time before. A time when things were a lot less restricted. "Guinevere," Merlin quickly corrects himself, "are you okay? I mean, I know you've been spending the night at the king's chambers, so I'm assuming you've been perfo-"

"I'm fine, Merlin." Guinevere quickly responds.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Guinevere nods, walking over to the table. Taking a seat, she picks up her bowl of stew and begins eating. Merlin watches her.

"H-how was it?" Merlin asks, his voice reluctant. Guinevere had to choose her words carefully. She had to make it seem like her and the king really had been performing the act, she had to get her level of contempt just right. It was becoming increasingly harder to show contempt when speaking about the king, he hadn't done anything to warrant her having any feelings of contempt towards him. Yet.

"I'd rather not talk about it, Merlin." Guinevere responds. It's a realistic answer. Most surrogates hate speaking about the act.

"Of course, how stupid of me. Of course." Merlin hits head in frustration at his lack of sensitivity. He stares at Guinevere briefly before proceeding to make his way out. Remembering something, he stops in his tracks.

"Oh yes, Guinevere..."

"Yes?"

"Your guardian is supposed to take you shopping today." Guinevere frowns. "The king suggested that you get some new things, anything to make you feel more at home." Merlin adds. Guinevere's frown slowly fades. She nods, and Merlin leaves.

* * *

><p>Arthur watches from the stairs as his wife steps down from her horse, a soft smile plays on his face. Caroline walks slowly over to him and they embrace. They slowly pull away, Caroline smiling at him.<p>

"I've got you a gift." Arthur says, locking his hand with Caroline as they make their way into the castle.

"What is it?" Caroline replies, unable to wipe the smile off her face. Things were beginning to seem better between them already. Maybe this trip apart was just what they needed.

"Close your eyes." Arthur says, now facing Caroline outside his chambers. Caroline closes her eyes, still smiling. Arthur gets out a silver necklace from his belt pocket, he slowly places it around Caroline's neck and begins to admire it. "Now, open them."

Caroline opens her eyes, caressing the necklace with a finger. The pendant is of a sword, the word 'Caroline' engraved on it.

"This is wonderful Arthur!" They embrace once more, and Arthur closes his eyes. He smiles, but it quickly fades as he notices the distinct lack of butterflies in his stomach. Was he being stupid for expecting to feel the same way he did all those years ago? Was it normal in a marriage for the spark to die? Was it just the lack of an heir? Would everything return to normal with the birth of a child? Arthur was worried, he wanted so badly to love his wife the way he used, he was convinced that the only reason his love appeared to have died was because of the tensions not being able to bear a child brought, but now he was unsure. Maybe that wasn't the reason.

The embrace ends and Caroline holds Arthur's hand, dragging him into his chambers, a mischievous smile on her face, Arthur forces a smile as he tries to shake off his thoughts.

* * *

><p>Shopping. Even as a child Guinevere hated shopping. She didn't care for materialistic things. She couldn't afford the finest dresses and nor did she want them. Now, she was being forced to shop with her guardian, Lancelot. The awkward silence plaguing the trip wasn't helping increase her love for shopping either.<p>

"Do you need a new mirror?" Lancelot says as they walk past a furniture store. He turns to face Guinevere, whose face is covered with the customary white veil all surrogates wore on their trips out. Lancelot didn't understand the need for the veil. Why did it matter if they were seen? What difference did it make? By becoming a surrogate, whatever dignity you had for yourself is automatically lost, hiding your face wouldn't make them feel any better, would it?

"No. My current one is fine." Guinevere replies, her tone cold. Lancelot nods before turning back to stare at the mirror stall, he notices the name, 'The Eye of Camelot', and immediately becomes paranoid. Turning to face Guinevere again, he begins fiddling with his trousers agitatedly. Guinevere notices.

"Are you okay?" She asks, a frown on her face.

"Did you see that name?"

"What name?" Guinevere asks, her eyes ahead of her as they walk past two guards of Camelot.

"The Eye of Camelot." Lancelot says, his voice a low whisper, Guinevere barely hears it.

"Is that why you're so agitated?" Guinevere asks, and Lancelot nods taking an a abrupt turn leading towards a narrow path, isolated from the rest of the market. Guinevere attempts to keep up with him, picking up her dress as she hastens her pace. Lancelot stops midway through the narrow path, breathing heavily. Guinevere lifts her veil, revealing her worried face. Lancelot looks up to face her.

"Don't look at me like I'm crazy."

"I'm not."

"Yes you are. You think I'm crazy, don't you?" Lancelot pauses, still catching his breath. "For believing in the eyes."

"No, I don't."

"You believe in them too?"

"No." Lancelot looks way. "But my father did." Guinevere quickly adds, Lancelot stares back up at her again. "He said the witch placed eyes all around Camelot, it's how she watches us, and how she chooses who to make fertile and who to make barren." Lancelot smiles dryly at her.

"My father said the same thing too." Lancelot moves closer to Guinevere, his eyes fixated on hers. "He said that the witch hates patriotism, she hates anyone with a blind love for Camelot, anyone without a noble heart and anyone willing to sacrifice their values for selfish desires." Lancelot looks down, before staring up to face Guinevere, he studies her face. "You're beautiful." He lets out, unable to stop himself. Guinevere takes a step back, she feels her face burning. This was wrong. What was he doing? Didn't he know the rules? He could get them killed.

"We should get back to the castle." Guinevere quickly places her veil back over her face.

"You haven't bought anything yet." Lancelot replies, moving closer to her.

"I don't want anything. I just want to get back to my chambers."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have called you beautiful. It was wrong, and unprofessional."

"It's fine. Just take me back. Please."

* * *

><p>Caroline was kissing Arthur. <em>She<em> was kissing _him_. He wasn't doing much reciprocating. He was finding it hard to. His hands stay limp at his sides, while Caroline's wrap around his body, his hair, his chest, his stay at his sides. Firm. Caroline was pretending not to notice, but she could feel the lack of passion, and just like that, all her insecurities returned and she hated herself once more. Pulling away from the kiss, Caroline stares at Arthur.

"That was nice." She lies. Arthur nods. His eyes drift to the bed as he waits for her to make the next move. Caroline stares at the bed also, and she begins thinking Ofarthur, the surrogate. She thinks about how Arthur and her had previously shared the same bed, him touching her, being with her, enjoying it... and she feels sick. Moving further away from Arthur, she places her hands over her mouth and begins sobbing. Arthur attempts to console her but she flinches at his touch.

"Caroline..."

"I'm sorry, Arthur. Just ignore me." She wipes her tears frantically.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing."

"You can't be crying over nothing." Caroline laughs feeling stupid.

"It's nothing. I promise." Arthur sighs. Why couldn't she talk to him?

"Tell me." He persists.

Silence.

"How was she?"

The question Arthur had been dreading.

"Was she better than me?" Arthur didn't know.

"Was she easier? Less frigid?"

"No." Arthur replies.

"No?"

"She wasn't better than you. Of course she wasn't." Arthur moves closer to his wife, placing soft kisses on the back of her neck. Caroline flinches once more, still hurting. His lips had been on _her_. They were contaminated with the taste of _her_.

"I can't do this, I'm sorry." She walks out of Arthur's chambers... leaving him alone.

* * *

><p>Later that night, Arthur receives a knock on the door. He was expecting Caroline, maybe she was ready to talk now, maybe they could get over their problems. But it wasn't Caroline. It was his surrogate, Guinevere, Ofarthur.<p>

"I know it's late." Arthur lets her in.

"You're not on duty today." Arthur says, his voice dry.

"I know. I was just wondering if I could have a few days leave." Guinevere asks, ready for Arthur's response.

"No." Guinevere's face falls, Arthur doesn't budge.

"Why not?"

"You haven't done anything to warrant days off." His tone grows colder.

"I thought we agreed that we could pretend, until we were ready."

"I did. I know I did." His voice softens. "I'm sorry, Guinevere." He'd called her Guinevere. It was becoming a habit. "If I let you have leave, Caroline will think I'm being soft, too nice. Most commanders never allow their surrogate leave, if I let you, being the king, it doesn't look professional." Professional. That word again.

"Of course." Guinevere understood. She could see Arthur was distressed and for some reason couldn't help but feel worried, no not worried, sympathy, for him. "Sire, are you okay?"

"Yes."

"You don't look it." Arthur stares at her.

"I'm fine."

"Is Caroline okay?"

"I don't see how this concerns you." He was being cold again. Guinevere's face falls once more. Arthur feels bad. Walking slowly over to her, he places a hand on her chin, raising her face up to face his. He leaves his hand there for a while as he studies her face. Guinevere's eyes stay locked with his.

"I'm sorry for being cold with you." Arthur's voice is soft. He quickly removes his hand away from her chin once he realises how intimate the act. Guinevere looks away.

"It's fine."

Guinevere quickly walks out of his chambers, her breathing laboured. A moment had passed between them. Arthur had noticed it, and so had she.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Hello! Once again, thank you for the feedback, it is super duper fluper appreciated. Here's chapter 5... Ofgwaine is introduced, she's actually my favourite character so far, and I really enjoyed writing her. I'd love to hear what you think about her! Keep adding to alerts, thank you to those who added to their faves, and once again, keep reviewing! It's much appreciated. :D**

**(Also, I know Gwaine is a bit OOC, but please understand that in this era, having relations with a surrogate is the norm, (not condoning it), but just keep that in mind, he does have good features that will become apparent later)**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5: Ofgwaine.<strong>

Trying to get his surrogate out of his mind was proving difficult for Arthur, very difficult. He couldn't stop thinking about the night before, how things had gotten so intimate between them. Why did he touch her face? He wasn't quite sure... he'd _wanted_ to. Why did he want to? Why did he have an uncontrollable urge to be close to her? Was it because he was deprived of intimacy from his wife Caroline? Was it because he was feeling lonely? Or was it because at that moment, all he could think about was how horrible he felt upon realising he'd upset Guinevere. Ofarthur, rather. He had to get used to that. Calling her Ofarthur. If he let her real name slip in front of Caroline... he couldn't. He wouldn't. Shaking off his thoughts, Arthur decides to take a walk around the castle. Being stuck in his chambers wasn't helping him take his mind of Ofarthur, and he so badly wanted to get her out of his mind.

Making his way out, he begins walking slowly down the halls of the castle, his mind still filled with conflicting thoughts, and his feelings betraying his common sense. Guinevere was approaching in the distance, she contemplated turning around upon seeing the king, but decides against it, forcing a smile on her face, she continues walking forward. She didn't want to speak to him. Not after the moment they shared last night. Was it a moment? Should she call it a moment? A moment would imply they had something. What did they have? It was hardly a relationship. She was his surrogate, he was her commander, they weren't supposed to be having moments. It was wrong.

"Sire." Guinevere curtsies in front of the king, her eyes firmly on the ground.

"Ofarthur." He responds, his eyes on her.

"Will I be needed today, sire?"

"Not by me, no." A sigh of relief escapes Guinevere's mouth. Arthur smiles at this action. He'd found it endearing. It made him realise she too had been thinking about the events of the night before. _The night before._ It sounded dirty. "Caroline may wish to see you, however. See how you're getting on." He continues, still staring at her.

"Thank you, sire." Raising her head, her eyes meets with the king. He nods, smiling softly at her. She smiles back before continuing down the hall. Arthur sighs. Was that another moment? Did he want it to be another moment? Arthur needed someone to talk to. Someone to set him straight. To remind him of the rules; Sir Gwaine.

* * *

><p>Merlin is brandishing Arthur's boots in one hand, and a sword in the other, he notices the guardian, Lancelot, leaning on the door of Guinevere's chambers, watching her. Frowning, Merlin slowly tip-toes behind Lancelot before tapping him softly on the shoulder. Lancelot gasps in shock, his face forming a deep frown once he notices Merlin.<p>

"What do you want?"

"Just wanted to greet you good morning." Merlin replies, dropping Arthur's boots on the floor. Lancelot stares at him.

"Good morning."

"What are you doing watching Guinevere change?"

"Excuse me?"

"Sorry, what a stupid suggestion. You wouldn't do anything so dangerous."

"I wasn't watching her change." Lancelot is telling the truth. "She's not changing, she's brushing her hair." A smile plays on Lancelot's face. Merlin frowns.

"You're meant to guard her, not observe her." Merlin retorts.

"She seems so lonely." Lancelot's eyes return to Guinevere.

"Being a surrogate _is_ a lonely job."

"She won't let me in." Lancelot sighs.

"She doesn't trust you."

"Does she trust you?" Lancelot turns back to Merlin. "Does she tell you things?"

"She used to." Merlin's face turns solemn. "I don't think she does any more. She doesn't tell me a thing these days."

"I see." Lancelot plays with his fingers. "Do you think he hurts her?"

"Who?"

"The king. Do you think he's aggressive with her?"

"It's not like Arthur." Merlin replies, a defensive tone to his voice.

"And you know the king well enough to say that?" Lancelot is unconvinced.

"No." Merlin pauses. "I guess I did once, but not now."

* * *

><p>Queen Caroline was picking flowers. She wasn't a knitter. She was a flower picker. If an unwoman didn't take up knitting, she would probably become obsessed with flowers instead; something to nurture, like a child. Something to watch grow. Caroline liked flowers. She liked daisies, daffodils and roses. She liked picking them, and looking after them. It gave her purpose, a sense of worth. Arthur no longer gave her a sense of worth. Being Queen no longer gave her a purpose. She no longer felt needed. She hated Ofarthur. She'd decided. She hated everything about her. She hated that she was here because of her, she hated that she'd let her come between her and husband. She hated that she needed her. Ofarthur was needed, she couldn't just get rid of her. Getting a new one wouldn't fix the problem. It didn't matter who she was. She'd always hate <em>Ofarthur<em>. She'd always hate that she was younger than her, fertile, prettier, easier, better. Arthur liked Ofarthur, he probably liked being with her, probably preferred her.

Caroline's grip on the flowers she's holding tightens, her anger building.

Why couldn't she just disappear? Why couldn't she be pregnant already? She was doing it on purpose, taking her time. She was being slow on purpose. That witch probably enjoyed stealing her husband. She probably liked it. Relished in it. She did always seem a little smug.

Caroline was being irrational.

Arthur probably liked playing with her long curly hair, he probably liked running his fingers through them.

The petals on the flowers slowly drop onto the floor as they slip, crumpled, out of her fingers.

Caroline was going to cut Guinevere's hair. Make her ugly. Arthur wouldn't enjoy her any more.

* * *

><p>"The king decides to pay me a visit!" Gwaine says, beaming. Arthur is in his home, smiling awkwardly. Gwaine hands him a jar of ale. Arthur reluctantly takes a small sip.<p>

"Thought I'd catch up. See how things are going with you, Vivette, Ofgwaine..."

"Good. Things are great. Summer's just around the corner and yet Vivette can't stop knitting." Gwaine laughs. Arthur frowns. "Ofgwaine's pregnancy is coming along well."

"How is she? Ofgwaine." Arthur asks. Gwaine smirks.

"How do you mean?"

"Just in general." The king shrugs his shoulders, trying to appear casual.

"She's decent." Gwaine takes a sip of ale. "She's very enjoyable."

"How long did it take for you to get..." Arthur pauses, articulating his thoughts. "... to get properly acquainted?"

"A few weeks. Not long." Arthur makes to speak but is interrupted by Gwaine. "How about you and Ofarthur? How is she?"

"She's decent too." Arthur lies. "She's just shy." Gwaine guffaws.

"Unlucky. A shy surrogate! I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Percival had a shy surrogate, he quickly replaced her." Arthur pretends to be amused. "Why don't you introduce Ofarthur to Ofgwaine?"

"Do you think it'll help?"

"Help her get out of her shell?" Arthur nods.

"Yes. Ofgwaine knows her place. She knows her purpose. Shy surrogates find it harder to detach. You don't want that. Ogwaine will help her, she'll lose whatever shyness she still has upon meeting her."

"Is it all right if I take Ofgwaine with me now, back to the castle? So her and Gui-Ofarthur, can get acquainted?" Arthur asks, finishing his jar of ale.

"Of course. She's in the room next door to mine."

Arthur smiles at his friend. If this would help remove the tension, no not tension,_awkwardness_ between himself and Guinevere, then he would do it. He just wanted to be able to touch her.

Touch her without feeling anything.

* * *

><p>"I want you to cut you hair." Caroline says to Ofarthur. She stands her in front of the mirror, a dagger in her hand. Guinevere tries not to flinch. She wants to ask why, but she doesn't.<p>

"Right now, my lady?"

"Yes. Right now. That isn't a problem, is it?" Caroline responds, a wry smile on her face.

"Of course not."

Caroline places the dagger in Guinevere's hand.

"I'll hold it for you." Caroline places her hands around Guinevere's hair, just below her neck. Guinevere holds her breath as she begins cutting. She stops herself from crying. Clumps drop to the floor, Caroline smiles as she watches.

Done.

"See. That's better." Caroline smiles at Guinevere through the mirror. Guinevere forces a smile back. She was beginning to hate Caroline.

"Ofarthur?" Ofgwaine walks into the chambers, her jaw drops at the sight of Guinevere, standing in a pool of hair, the queen behind her.

"Ofgwaine. What are you doing here?" Caroline says, frowning. She steps away from Guinevere, making her way towards Ofgwaine.

"The king sent me." Ofgwaine pauses. "He wants me to see how Ofarthur is getting on. Check for any symptoms."

"Symptoms of pregnancy?" Caroline's face brightens somewhat.

"Yes, my lady." Ofgwaine clears her throat. "Without meaning to be rude your highness, I must ask for privacy."

"Of course. Of course. Do whatever the king wishes." Caroline presses a hand on Guinevere's shoulder, a supposed act of compassion. She then makes her way out of the chambers. Leaving Ofgwaine and Ofarthur alone.

Guinevere stares at hair below, sadness taking over. She hated her hair short. Composing herself, she raises her head up to face Ofgwaine. What did she want?

"I'm Ofgwaine."

"I know." Guinevere's voice is cold. She doesn't mean to be.

"You need to toughen up." Ofgwaine says, grabbing a nearby broom as she begins sweeping the clumps of hair away. "Don't let her get to you."

"I'm not."

"Yes you are. You looked scared of her to me."

"I'm not!" Guinevere's voice rises.

"That's more like it."

"I can't speak to her like that. She's the queen." Guinevere says, taking a seat on her bed.

"And you're the king's surrogate. Whether she'll admit it or not, you are far more important than she is." Ofgwaine takes a seat next to her. "Vivette, my commander's wife, is weak, and I take advantage of that." Ofgwaine smirks.

"How?"

"You have something wives don't. A working womb. You're also younger-"

"Only by 6 years. It's not much."

"I'm only younger by 7 years. It's not much, but it's enough. You're still a younger model. You're still better. Make the king want you."

Ofgwaine wasn't like most surrogates. She was intelligent. She had a plan. She was going to escape... and she was going to do it by manipulating her commander.

"How can I make King Arthur want me?"

"You're a pretty girl." Ofgwaine studies her face. "Though that's not enough. If you want to come out of this on top, if you want to escape with your life, if you want to be more than just a surrogate for as long as you're fertile, that is, before they send you to the colonies to die a slow, painful, death; you need confidence. You need to take advantage of your weak commander. You know men... they're putty at the hands of a beautiful woman." Ofgwaine smiles at Guinevere.

"I don't want to come between Arthur and his wife." Ofgwaine scoffs.

"By the looks of things, they're doing a good job of that themselves. Why do you even care? She won't hesitate to throw you out once she's done with you. Why be nice to her?"

Guinevere nods.

"Just make a fool out of the king. It's easy once you start." Ofgwaine places her veil over face as she makes to leave. "I'm pregnant with my second child. Once I have my third, Sir Gwaine won't want his wife any more."

"You really believe that?"

"Yes. I do. What use would she be?"

Ofgwaine walks out, leaving Guinevere alone to contemplate her words. Outside, Arthur arrives at Guinevere's chambers, he spots Ofgwaine and directs her in the direction of Merlin, informing her that he will be escorting her home. Afterwards, he slowly enters Guinevere's chambers. He stops a few steps inside and begins observing her. He's unable to hide the smile that appears on his face. Guinevere is oblivious to his presence as she stares at her newly found reflection in front her. She hates what she sees. Still smiling, Arthur takes a few more steps forward.

"I like it short." Arthur says softly, smiling at her. He walks out before she has a chance to respond. Shocked at his comment, Guinevere observes herself in the mirror once more.

It doesn't seems so bad now.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Hey, here's the next chapter. I know a lot of you are getting sick of the slow burn, but there's a lot of progression in this chapter! (i think)Yay! I also know a lot of you want longer chapters, and it's just really hard for me to make them longer, mostly because I have so much school work and it just isn't a good use of time. If that makes any sense. 2,000 words per chapter will probably be the average. I'm sorry, but that's real life for you. I still really appreciate your feedback! And… I think I'll throw a party and make an extra-long chapter once I get to 100 reviews just to show my appreciation for your reviews and input. I hope you enjoy this chapter. :D

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><p><strong>Chapter 6: The Kiss.<strong>

They'd carried on pretending, it gotten progressively easier the more they did it. The more they pretended to perform the act whilst secretly getting to know one another, learn more about how the other thought. Guinevere's guilt grew as their secret did. Arthur's lack of guilt came as a surprise to him. He wanted to feel bad about lying to Caroline, but he didn't. Caroline was becoming increasingly distant, not talking to him, obsessed with her flowers. Arthur didn't know why she loved her flowers so much, why she paid them more attention than she did him. Did she still love him? In all honesty, Arthur wasn't sure if he cared anymore. He wasn't even sure why he and Guinevere were still pretending. He wasn't sure if he still wanted an heir. The more he and Guinevere spoke, the more he'd began to question Camelot's traditions and customs, the more he began to find flaws in his late father. He felt like he was either losing himself, or finding himself. He wasn't sure which of the two he preferred.

"I saw Caroline crying today." Guinevere says, sitting on the king's bed, her veil next to her. Arthur is staring at himself in the mirror. He found himself staring at his reflection more often recently. It was almost involuntary.

"Really?" Arthur tries to find the perfect tone. He has to sound concerned, but not too concerned.

"Yes. She didn't see me. But I saw her. Sobbing. Uncontrollably." Guinevere pauses, staring at her commander. "I don't think she's coping well."

"She's fine." Arthur lies. "I'm sure she is."

"With all due respect, sire. You didn't see her."

"She cut your hair." Arthur interrupts Guinevere, making his way closer to her.

"I wanted her to."

"That's not what you said yesterday. You said she did it against your will. That's what you said." Arthur sits next to his surrogate.

"I know what I said, and what I said is the truth... but sire-"

"Aren't we beyond that?"

"Excuse me? " Guinevere is bewildered.

"Titles. Sire. There's no need. Not when it's just us." Arthur smiles softly at her. Guinevere smiles back. She shouldn't be smiling back.

"What should I call you then?"

Arthur laughs.

"Arthur. My name is Arthur, your name is Guinevere, and that is how we shall address each other as of now." Guinevere shakes her head. This wasn't done.

"Sire, as much as I appreciate your efforts to make me feel comfortable, this isn't appropriate."

"What isn't appropriate? Us pretending to perform the act? Or you calling me by my first name?" Arthur moves a little closer to her, his eyes fixated on hers. "Just call me Arthur."

"Okay, Arthur." Guinevere says. Arthur smiles. "I saw your wife crying today. Do you not care?" Arthur moves away from her.

"Of course I care."

"You have a funny way of showing it."

"How am I meant to show it?" Arthur turns to stare at her.

"I don't know..."

"Of course you don't know, Guinevere. You do not have the faintest idea. You haven't a clue. I married Caroline because I loved her-"

"I wasn't implying that you didn't, Arthur."

"I loved her. I did..." Arthur stands up from the bed, walking slowly back to the mirror.

"But..." Guinevere persists.

"But, things haven't been the same for a while now. I've tried everything. I have. I love her. I do... but. I don't know, Guinevere. She's just... she's just not the girl I fell in love with. She's not funny. She doesn't smile. I can't make her laugh. She's always looking down. My touch doesn't please her anymore. Nothing is the same, and I can barely take it."

Guinevere walks over to Arthur, placing her hand softly on his shoulder. He turns around to face her, their eyes meeting. Locked.

"I have no idea what that must feel like." Guinevere's voice is dry. She's nervous. She doesn't know why.

"I wouldn't wish it upon you." Arthur smiles at her. He leans his head closer. Wanting to kiss her. Guinevere notices. She knows what he wants to do, and yet, she doesn't move. She doesn't stop him.

"I am going to kiss you." Arthur lets out before swallowing hard. "I mean, only if you'll let me."

She nods.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm sure." Guinevere smiles. Arthur places his hands softly on her neck, her soft curls tickling his fingers. Leaning closer, his lips brush softly against hers. He continues down her face, reaching her neck. Breathing her in. Soaking in her scent. Returning back to her lips, he brushes against them again, her lips part... and they kiss. Their tongues meet, and it's blissful. Wrong. But wonderful. Frowned upon. But nice.

Arthur doesn't know where to put his hands. _Where do I put my hands?_ He raises his left hand, placing it softly on her small waist, not wanting to break her. She seems so fragile. His eyes closed, he deepens the kiss, and Guinevere reciprocates. She's enjoying it. And she hates herself for it. But it's just so amazing.

They stop. Pulling away, their eyes still closed. Their breaths heavy and their minds blurred.

They'd kissed.

How could they have been stupid? How could they have done so something so intimate?

"That was..." Arthur pauses, his hand still resting on Guinevere's soft neck. "... nice."

Guinevere is frozen. She can't speak.

"... but it was a mistake. It can never happen again." Guinevere nods. Still in shock. What had they done?

"You can go."

Guinevere walks out. She can still taste his lips on hers.

* * *

><p>The Queen had requested Guinevere's presence. She knew, Guinevere was sure of it. She wasn't sure how'd she'd found out, but she knew that she knew. Why else would she request her presence? They hadn't spoken since she cut her hair, Guinevere had been avoiding Caroline. But now she couldn't. Because she'd requested her presence. She'd been summoned. She was going to be killed. Having romantic relations with your Commander was punishable by death. Guinevere was going to die. It didn't matter that her commander was the king, it was the rules; break the rules, and you die. That's how King Uther ruled, and that's how King Arthur would be persuaded to rule. He'd kill her, even though they were both at fault.<p>

Guinevere swallows hard, waiting in the throne room. Sweat dripping from her fingers. Her pulse racing.

"Ofarthur." Caroline's voice startles Guinevere. Keeping her head down, Guinevere nods.

"I'm glad you came quickly. I have something of importance I wish to discuss with you."

She knew. She definitely knew.

"You have been acting as our surrogate for over a month now, nearly two, and still you show no signs of pregnancy." Caroline walks closer to Guinevere. "It's understandable. But…" Caroline pauses in a dramatic fashion.

"But?" Guinevere questions.

"But, I can't help but wonder if…" She shakes her head. "No. No. It's a stupid idea."

"What? What's a stupid idea?" Guinevere's anxiety grows.

"Well, I've had my doubts for a while now, and I can't help but wonder if my worst fears may be coming true."

"You're being very cryptic, my lady. I'm not quite sure I understand."

Caroline smiles wickedly.

"My husband." She pauses. "I fear he may be… sterile."

She doesn't know. A sigh of relief escape Guinevere's lips.

"Sterile?"

"Yes. You know. Unable to bear children." Caroline smiles softly. "I wouldn't you to take the blame for his incompetence."

"Incompetence?" Was she going to sack her? Was this her way out?

"I'd suggest you try… with the guardian." Caroline finally lets out. She wanted her to sleep with Lancelot. That wasn't allowed.

"Try what?"

"Don't act so innocent, Ofarthur. It isn't unheard of."

"I'm not sure I can do this…"

"I'm afraid you don't have a say in the matter, I've already spoken to Lancelot, and he's agreed to it." Guinevere feels her face burning. "I've arranged a room for you tonight. Near the kitchen. Meet him there shortly after sundown."

Guinevere stops herself from weeping. She couldn't do this. She couldn't. It made her feel sick. She was going to be physically sick.

"I can't. Please don't make me. I can't. Please. Please." She hated begging Guinevere always hated begging. But she had to. She couldn't sleep with Lancelot. She couldn't. She wouldn't. He made her feel sick. He turned her stomach. She didn't want to. She didn't love him. How could she do it with someone she didn't love?

How was she ever planning on doing it with the king?

"Pull yourself together, girl." _Girl._ Caroline's voice is stern. "You're not the only one suffering here. You're not the victim here. I am." Caroline's warm spit lands on Guinevere's face.

She can no longer stop herself, and she begins crying. Caroline's is unnerved by this. Studying Guinevere's face, which is now wet with tears, she walks out of the throne room, a blank expression on her face.

* * *

><p>Dinner.<p>

"Where's Guin-Ofarthur?" He'd let it slip. Had his wife noticed? Was she even listening?

"I let her have the night off." Caroline forces a smile at her husband. "You don't mind, do you?"

She'd noticed.

"No. Of course not."

He'd called her Guinevere. He knew her name, and Caroline had noticed. It made her blood boil. It made her want to rip the rest of Guinevere's hair out with her bare hands. Her loathing grew and her sanity was beginning to diminish.

It would be fine though. That harlot would soon be pregnant, with the guardian's baby, they'd get their heir, she'd be gone, and Caroline would get her husband back, her life back, her happiness back. She just needed to have more patience. Not lose her cool. Ensure that Arthur still loved her. He had to still love her. Ofarthur was just there to ease his needs, his desires, it was her he loved. Not that surrogate. Surrogates are cheap, there's no way he could love her. Him saying her name meant nothing. Of course it did. It had to mean nothing.

* * *

><p>Guinevere didn't show up. Lancelot was disappointed, but he'd been expecting it. He wasn't going to do anything to her, not unless she wanted to, not unless she was okay with it. But she didn't even arrive. Lancelot was left waiting for her arrival but to no avail. He'd wanted to talk to her, learn more about her, understand why she was so quiet, but she didn't even give him the chance, she didn't want anything to do with him. Why? Why was she so against him? Was it his face? Was he ugly? He wasn't King Arthur, he knew that, but surely he wasn't that bad.<p>

He didn't see a gargoyle when he looked in the mirror. He saw someone decent. Someone worthy of love and companionship, and yet Guinevere was so reluctant to even look him in the eye. Maybe he shouldn't have called her beautiful. But he couldn't help it. She was beautiful to him.

Sometimes he wished he was Arthur. Most of the time he was glad he wasn't. There was no way he'd be able to detach himself from her. He was drawn to her. It was magnetic. She intrigued him. Physically and mentally.

He knew he shouldn't be having such thoughts. He knew it was wrong. He knew the eyes could probably hear him… but they weren't positive thoughts, they weren't patriotic, though they weren't completely against Camelot's regime either.

Lancelot didn't know what he felt towards the Pendragons. He wasn't sure of much anymore.

* * *

><p>Arthur had decided to visit Guinevere. They should talk about what happened. It was the decent thing to do. The right thing to do. Right. Wrong. The line was so blurred now, but he knew he had to see her. Speak to her. He <em>wanted<em> to.

Three knocks on the door.

"Arthur?" Guinevere was expecting Merlin. She was crying, and now Arthur could see. She felt stupid. Arthur was worried.

"You're crying."

"No I'm not." She wipes her tears as she allows him to enter her chambers.

"Yes. You are." Arthur goes to touch her shoulder, but stops himself before his hands reach it.

"Arthur, please."

"Why are you crying? Is it because of what happened before? Because we kissed?" Arthur wants her to say no.

"Yes."

"Oh."

"Arthur, please. I just want to be alone." She was calling him Arthur. He liked it.

"We both know that kiss was a mistake." Arthur says, convincing himself. "I'm sorry I did it."

"It's okay." She wipes her tears. "I kissed you back, and I shouldn't have. It was wrong of me."

Arthur nods awkwardly. He wants to hold her. He doesn't know why. But he does. He wants to embrace her, rock her back and forth until she stops crying. He wants to move the stray curl sprayed across her face. He doesn't know why. But he wants to.

"Did Caroline say why she let you have the night off?"

"No." She lies.

"She was just feeling generous?"

"Possibly."

"See. Told you she wasn't sad. She was probably crying about something silly. Probably about her flowers." Arthur knew that was a lie.

"Probably."

Guinevere's one word replies were beginning to irritate Arthur.

"Are things always going to be like this between us now?"

"Like what?" Guinevere wipes her face, turning to face him.

"Tense."

"No. Things aren't tense between us."

"Yes they are."

"No they aren't."

"Yes. They are, Guinevere." Arthur smiles at her. She smiles back. Almost laughing.

"Maybe a little."

"A little?" Arthur laughs. "A little? You could cut the tension in here with one of my swords." Arthur's somewhat pathetic attempt at a joke makes Guinevere giggle. Arthur likes her laugh. The pair study one another.

"I'm sorry I kissed you, Guinevere."

Arthur walks over to her, and places a soft kiss on her cheek. He lingers, letting his skin brush against hers. Her body is stiff. This annoys him. Locking eyes with her, he smiles before walking backwards, making his way out of the chambers.

He was falling for her.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Hello! Hit 100 reviews. That's pretty awesome :D. Thank you all, you all rock, and I truly appreciate your feedback. Please please keep it up, and share the story too! Here's the next chapter, it's extra long… and quite a bit happens in it. I wrote it in one, so apologies for any silly mistakes or typos. Once again, thank you for the continued feedback, and please do continue. I hope you enjoy it!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 7: The Banquet.<strong>

It was the King's birthday and appropriate celebrations were in order. King Arthur had ordered Merlin to invite everyone he knew, which included the Knights and their family, all the nobles, old friends and even some of his extended family. The king was turning twenty-seven and though it wasn't necessarily an important age, he felt this banquet was exactly what he needed to take his mind off... things. He wasn't sure whether or not inviting Guinevere would be appropriate, but if he didn't invite her and it_was_ appropriate, her marked absence might cause a stir among his guests. He was conflicted. Caroline was naturally against the idea, she'd been making less of an effort to disguise her continually growing hatred of Guinevere, and Arthur was beginning to find it increasingly harder to hide his forever increasing attraction towards his surrogate.

"There's no need to invite her, Arthur. There's no point. I'm sure she'd appreciate the time off." Arthur is seated behind his desk, writing a list of the banquet guests.

"Yes, but is that considered normal?" Arthur pauses. "Not inviting your surrogate to an elaborate occasion. Is it done?"

"You're the king, Arthur. Whatever you do becomes the norm. You needn't worry about mindless gossip." Caroline smiles at her husband. He smiles back, unconvinced.

"Yes, but mindless gossip matters, Caroline. If my people deem my behaviour inappropriate, they will not see me as a fit leader, they might, they might rebel!" Arthur lets out in a dramatic fashion. Caroline laughs.

"Don't be silly."

"I am not." Their light-hearted debate was reminiscent of how things were before the cracks in their marriage began to appear.

"Yes, you are, Arthur. The people won't rebel. God, just imagine it. They endure years of infertility but rebel over the pure outrage of the king not inviting his surrogate to his birthday banquet? It's ludicrous and you know it." Arthur nods at his wife's words, a faint smile on his face. She was right and he knew it, but he wanted Guinevere to celebrate his birthday with him, and he felt he owed it to her to allow her some time to enjoy herself.

"Caroline, do you think it would be kind of us to invite her?" Arthur asks, a reluctant tone to his voice.

"Kind?"

"Well, would it be the decent thing to do? I'm sure she wouldn't mind being part of the celebrations."

Caroline frowns.

"I'm sure she wouldn't, but she must know her place." Her voice grows stern.

"And she does."

"And that will continue, just as long as you don't invite her to this banquet." Caroline controls her anger, forcing a smile on her face as she approaches her husband. Placing her hand softly on his face, she sighs. "Look, I know it may seem harsh, Arthur, but... she needs to know her position. She is not our friend. She is merely a walking womb and the more she remembers that, the sooner we get an heir and the sooner she leaves, right?"

Arthur forces a smile back.

"Right."

He didn't want Guinevere to leave.

"But." Arthur continues.

But. _Why the but?_ Caroline was becoming increasingly irritated. Why was he so adamant on her attendance? Why did it matter? She didn't matter. She was nothing.

"I'll seek Merlin's counsel, and possibly ask the opinion of Gwaine or Leon before coming to a final decision." He adds.

Caroline struggles to hide her disappointment at his words.

"Why do you need to seek the counsel of your servant?" Caroline retorts.

"Merlin isn't stupid, contrary to what you may believe." Caroline stares deep into Arthur's eyes.

"I can't remember the last time you sought Merlin's counsel. It must have been years ago."

Arthur's face etches into one deep in thought. He nods slowly before smiling.

"I guess I must have been busy with other things, or maybe I just didn't have many hard decisions to make!" Arthur stands up and begins making his way out of his chambers. He doesn't stop to kiss Caroline on the cheek. It doesn't even cross his mind.

* * *

><p>"Did you hear about the king's birthday banquet?" Merlin asks Lancelot as they walk down the castle's corridors, making their way to the stables.<p>

"Yes. I've been appointed a duty of great importance, actually." Lancelot responds, a dry tone to his voice.

"Really? And what's that?"

"Royal serving boy." Lancelot replies sarcastically. Merlin laughs.

"You're a guardian, not a serving boy."

"Tell that to the king, he seems to think my job description extends to just about anything. Then again, he is the king. He could have any of us killed with this click of his fingers." Merlin swallows. Lancelot turns to stare at him, a smile on his face.

"Arthur really isn't that bad."

"Any man who endorses the idea of surrogacy is that bad, I'm afraid." Lancelot retorts.

"_You_ guard a surrogate."

"I do it because I have to." Lancelot pauses. "Is there really any other option? Camelot's regime is limited in what it has to offer, surely you know that."

"This is the most you've ever said to me." Merlin is taken aback by Lancelot's sudden eagerness to speak. Lancelot rolls his eyes. "And Camelot has some options." Merlin attempts to defend the king's actions.

"Really? You call, _'yield or be sent to the colonies and die'_ an option?"

"No, but if you were Arthur, what would you do?"

"If I were Arthur, I'd let Ofarthur go. That'd be the first thing I do."

It's Merlin's turn to roll his eyes.

"She's off limits, Lancelot."

"What are you implying?"

"Oh don't bother hiding it, your..." Merlin struggles to find the right words. "... affections for her are obvious." Lancelot laughs and is about to respond with a smart comment but is interrupted by the sound of Arthur's voice.

"Merlin!" Both Merlin and Lancelot turn around to see the king. Their conversation is immediately cut short, much to Merlin's annoyance.

"Sire." Merlin bows.

"Can I have a word in private?" Arthur turns to eye Lancelot, who takes the hint and nods before heading off.

"Of course."

The two carry on walking as Arthur struggles to word his somewhat trivial problem.

"I need your counsel, and before you act surprised, my wife has already reminded me of how strange it has become for me to seek your advice, but I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important." The king was in a good mood. Merlin could tell. He'd grown accustomed to his moods.

"I'm all ears." Merlin gives a goofy smile.

"Do you think it is appropriate for me to... invite Guinevere to my banquet?"

He'd called her Guinevere. Merlin pretends not to notice.

"I wouldn't think anything of it. Whether you do or don't is of little importance." Merlin replies honestly. Arthur smiles to himself.

"So, do you think I should?"

"I don't know, sire. It's entirely up to you." Though the king speaking to Merlin like this was flattering, Merlin wasn't going to completely let his guard down. Things will never be like they once were, and Merlin knew that.

"What would you do?"

"What would I do?"

"Yes, what would you, Merlin, do?"

"I'd invite Ofarthur. She's a human being too and I'm sure she'd appreciate it." Arthur pats Merlin on his shoulder still smiling.

"Thanks, Merlin. You've been a great help." He begins to walk ahead, but stops briefly. "Oh, Merlin?"

"Yes?"

"Do you know if Ofarthur is in her chambers?" He'd remembered to call her Ofarthur this time.

"I'd expect so; she doesn't leave without permission from you."

Arthur nods and continues on his way. Merlin is still taken aback by the somewhat surrealism of it all. The king was acting very strange, and Merlin wanted to know why.

* * *

><p>Now outside Guinevere's chambers. Arthur was nervous. Strange, he rarely ever felt nervous. He usually always felt confident, in control, but outside Guinevere's chambers, he felt like a young boy courting the lady of his affections for the first time. He found himself worrying as to whether she'd turn down his invite, find the whole idea stupid. The last time he'd felt this nervous was on his wedding day.<p>

Finally plucking up the courage, he knocks three times on the door. It had now become his signature knock; Guinevere knew it was him each time. Checking her appearance in the mirror, she answers the door, trying to stop herself from looking too pleased at the prospect of the king visiting her.

"Sire." She says, in case any servants walk by. If they'd heard her call him Arthur, they would start to think things.

"Ofarthur," He responds, using the same reasoning. She allows him inside and they regard one another.

"Can I help you?" Guinevere asks awkwardly.

"Yes. No. I mean yes." Arthur was still nervous. "Yes, you can help me." A nervous laughs escapes his mouth.

"In what way?"

"I'm having a banquet and a celebration of sorts for my birthday, and I was wondering if you'd be so kind as to attend?" Arthur asks, handing over an invite. Guinevere beams. He smiles back.

"You're inviting me?"

"Yes. I would very much appreciate it if you decided to turn up."

"Is it appropriate?"

"Merlin thinks it's appropriate." Guinevere laughs at Arthur's response. Since when was Merlin's word gospel?

"I love it when you laugh." Arthur lets out. Guinevere feels her face burning. She looks away as she fiddles with her invite.

"Will you come?" Arthur persists.

"I have nothing to wear."

"I'll get Merlin to bring you something." Arthur quickly says back.

"What about Caroline?"

"What about her?"

"Does she mind?"

Arthur frowns.

"Why would she? I'm inviting you to a banquet, I'll be attending with _her, she'll_ be beside me the entire night. _She's_ my wife. You're my... surrogate." Arthur's words unintentionally hurt Guinevere. She hides her emotions.

"And that's all I am." She mutters.

"Have I offended you?" Arthur moves closer to her, concerned.

"No." She turns her back to him.

"I have."

"You haven't."

"Guinevere..."

"You haven't, Arthur." She faces him again, forcing a smile.

"Look, this was probably an idiotic idea, you don't have to come if it'll make you uncomfortable, but, the offer still stands." Arthur says, studying her face. She nods.

"Merlin will come round with a dress later." Arthur pauses. "What's your favourite colour?"

"Lavender." Arthur smiles.

"What are the odds? That was my mother's favourite colour." He notices Guinevere's face is still solemn. Placing his hand on her chin, he lifts her head up slowly. "Cheer up, even if you don't come to the banquet. I'll ensure that a lavender ball gown is made and delivered to you. I'd love to see you in it, but I imagine you would look beautiful in it. Stunning, even." Arthur stares deep into Guinevere's eyes. She feels her heart beating faster, her lips moving closer to his and herself drowning in his deep blue eyes. Arthur clears his throat, forcing himself back to reality as he leaves her chambers. He is the king. She is his surrogate.

This is wrong.

* * *

><p>The banquet.<p>

The king was bored. His wife seemed happy. Everyone around him was intoxicated. Even Merlin, and yet he was bored. He hadn't really thought it through. Why did he want this banquet? What was he hoping to get from it? Some sort of happiness? Escapism? It seemed the only person that gave him any sense of happiness or escapism was Guinevere, and she wasn't here. He wanted her here. With him. His wife wouldn't even talk to him, she was too busy playing doting wife and queen to all their guests and Arthur was finding it mind-numbingly dull.

He was going to leave. Slip out unnoticed. He had to see her.

* * *

><p>"How much have you had to drink?" Lancelot stares at Merlin, holding a tray of drinks.<p>

"Not much. I'm just faking drunk, so I can pretend to pass out and then leave early." Merlin smiles at Lancelot. "It's a fool-proof plan."

"I'm sure." Lancelot replies dryly as a group of noblewomen walk over grabbing glasses from his tray, emptying it. Lancelot places his tray down, wipes his hands on his trousers, and begins scanning the hall around him. Merlin studies him, confused.

"What are you looking?" Merlin asks.

"Where's the king?"

"Drinking a lot of ale, celebrating his birthday, I assume?"

"No, he's not. Look. I can't find him anywhere. Shouldn't he be near the queen?" Merlin studies the hall also.

"Maybe he went to the bathroom." Merlin say, unconvinced.

"Maybe." Lancelot is also unconvinced.

"I'm off." Merlin says, dropping his glass.

"Where to?"

"To check on Guinevere."

"I'll come with."

"It's okay." Merlin's voice is stern. "I don't need looking after."

"Guinevere does. I _am_ her guardian."

"Yes, but tonight, you're royal serving boy." Merlin's face is smug. "I'll check on her, it's fine. If I need your help, I'll be sure to ask."

Merlin walks off, a spring in his step.

* * *

><p>Arthur doesn't knock this time. He walks in. He walks in and see's Guinevere sitting on her bed, the lavender dress on, her face wet with tears. Arthur stares at her, stunned. She looks so beautiful, yet lonely.<p>

"Guinevere." She doesn't respond.

"Guinevere..." Arthur repeats, hastening his pace, taking a seat next to her. He places his hand softly around her waist, she slowly places her head on his shoulder and he begins caressing her face, wiping the tears as he does so.

"Why are you crying, Guinevere?"

"I don't know." She responds, her voice soft. She buries her head deeper in his shoulder. He kisses her forehead. She raises her head up to face him.

"You must know why you're crying." He studies her.

"I'm not anymore." Her voice is a low whisper.

"No, I guess you're not." Arthur leans in; his nose brushing against hers, her hair tickling his cheek, his hands now wrapped her waist. Placing his lips directly in front of hers, he brushes against them, wanting to kiss her, wanting to show her how much he cares about her, but he doesn't. He moves away, licking his lips, controlling himself. Stopping himself.

"Arthur."

"Guinevere, I can't." Arthur stands up. Guinevere follows on after him.

"I'm sorry." She lets out.

"This is wrong, Guinevere. I'm married. I'm married, I have a wife. I'm married."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that." Arthur turns to stare at her. "Just stop. We have to end this."

"End what?"

"This, Guinevere. _Us._ This thing we have."

"It's nothing."

"It's not nothing." Arthur places his hands on her face, rubbing his thumb against her cheek. He smiles at her. "I should have hired an ugly surrogate." Guinevere laughs. "Or maybe a stupid one." Guinevere laughs again. Arthur is drawn towards her again. "You're beautiful, and intelligent, Guinevere."

"No I'm not." Guinevere can't stop herself from smiling, like a little girl experiencing her first feelings of affections towards a boy.

"You're humble too." Arthur smirks at her. He moves closer to her, and he kisses her. His tongue dips into hers, her hands wrap around his neck and they descend into their own world. No one else matters.

* * *

><p>Merlin sees. His peers his head around Guinevere's door and he sees them. He sees King Arthur kissing his surrogate. And it looked like they were enjoying it.<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: I have to apologize for the long wait. I am extremely sorry. But, today is my birthday, and I thought I'd treat you all with a chapter. Sorry it took so long, I had school holidays, exams coming up, and I had serious writers block. So, I hope you can all forgive me. A lot happens in this chapter. Please don't hate me for it, a lot of it is depressing. Do continue to review and feedback, I really really appreciate it. Unless of course you've all abandoned this story in my hiatus. Sorry again for the long wait. Hopefully the next chapter won't take as long! :D  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8: Denial.<strong>

Arthur and Gwen had carried on their secret relationship. It had been two weeks since Merlin had caught them kissing, it had also been two weeks since they'd decided to admit whatever feelings they were feeling for each other. Merlin didn't know what to do with this new found information. He didn't know who to talk to, who to tell, how to handle the idea of his best friend and the king doing something so idiotic. How could they do something so idiotic? How could the king betray his wife like that? How could Gwen let herself be used, be taken advantage off? It was obvious Arthur didn't love her. Of course he didn't. Commanders don't love surrogates.

It isn't done. Especially if that commander was King Arthur.

How could Gwen be so naive? Didn't she know the rules? Didn't she know that if anyone found out, if Caroline found out... she'd be executed in an instant? Didn't she care?

"Merlin," Arthur's voice startles Merlin's train of thought. He turns around to stare at the king; Merlin was beginning to hate Arthur. He was also finding it increasingly harder to hide his growing feelings of hatred.

"What?"

"Excuse me?"

"Sorry, sire. I haven't been sleeping well. Excuse my irritable manner." Merlin forces a goofy smile. Arthur frowns at him.

"Merlin, have you seen Lancelot around?"

Merlin shakes his head. He wasn't lying. He hadn't seen Lancelot in the past two days. He didn't really care, Lancelot was becoming an irritant.

"Do you have any idea where he might be?"

"Probably in his chambers. Since you relaxed his duties, he doesn't do anything other than stay in his chambers all day." Merlin replies, his voice cold. Arthur nods slowly.

"You don't have to finish cleaning up here." Arthur pauses as he begins taking off his chainmail before scanning his chambers. "Take a break, and tell Ofarthur I'd like to have a word with her." Merlin feels his anger growing at Arthur's mention of Guinevere. Arthur smiles at Merlin. Merlin nods before making his way out of Arthur's chambers.

* * *

><p>"Sir Gwaine! What brings you here?" Caroline is surprised to see Gwaine waiting outside the castle, a cheeky grin on his face.<p>

"What? Can't pay my two old friends a visit anymore?" Gwaine laughs as he approaches Caroline for a friendly hug.

"You can. It's just I thought you'd be with Ofgwaine. I heard about her sudden miscarriage."

Gwaine nods solemnly.

"The mood at home is unbearable. Vivette is a blubbering mess. Ofgwaine isn't speaking. I needed a break from it all."

"Understandable." Caroline smiles warmly at him.

"Aren't you going to escort me inside?" Caroline laughs before leading Gwaine into the castle.

"So, how are things with Arthur and the surrogate?"

Caroline is silent.

Gwaine persists.

"Is everything okay, Caroline?"

"Yes. Everything's great."

"You don't sound too convincing." Gwaine stares worriedly at his friend.

"Everything's fine, Gwaine."

"There isn't anything you want to tell me?"

"No."

"Are you and Arthur still..." Gwaine struggles to find the right words. Caroline averts her gaze towards the floor. She knows what Gwaine is getting at.

"Yes. Yes, we are." She lies, forcing a smile. "In fact, we did last night."

"That's good. It's always good to keep at it, even whilst the surrogate is on duty. Lack of intimacy often leads to marriage breakdowns, you know that."

"I know."

"You heard about Tristan and Isolde didn't you?"

"Yes, Gwaine." Caroline's irritation is growing.

"Ten years of marriage down the drain..." Gwaine frowns as he ponders. "Ten years wasted, all because of a cheap surrogate," he sighs, "it's disgraceful."

"Shut up, Gwaine." Caroline blurts out unable to stop herself.

"Excuse me?" They stop just outside Arthur's chambers.

"I'm sorry; I don't know what came over me." Caroline apologizes, flustered.

"Caroline, are you sure you're okay?"

Caroline shakes her head, tears welling up in her eyes. Gwaine studies her, a concerned look on his face.

"Why don't we say hi to Arthur later? How about a walk?"

Caroline nods, her face now wet with tears.

* * *

><p>Arthur and Gwen are kissing in his chambers. They were kissing whilst Caroline was breaking down outside, and they were kissing now. Guinevere pulls away first, much to Arthur's annoyance. He wraps his hands around her waist pulling her back towards him.<p>

"Arthur..."

"Guinevere..."

She laughs.

"Arthur, someone could walk in."

"Not without knocking." Arthur retorts.

"Merlin always knocks?" Guinevere is unconvinced. Arthur sighs admitting defeat.

"Okay, maybe you're right." He lets go of her waist, his eyes still fixed on her.

She grabs her veil from his bed, ready to leave.

"I have to go now."

"Why?"

"It's my routine check-up, for signs of pregnancy." Guinevere replies casually.

"Waste of time really." Arthur says, a smirk on his face.

"You know that, and I know that, but everyone else thinks I'm being the perfect surrogate and that we're actually performing the act, so I have to go... to keep up appearances."

Arthur nods.

"Do we have to keep pretending?" Arthur asks, a reluctant tone to his voice.

"How do you mean?" His surrogate frowns.

"Do we have to keep pretending to perform the act." He pauses, swallowing. He didn't want to sound like a pervert. "Why don't we just try it for real? I know I'm ready. I just want to know if you're ready."

Guinevere stares at him, a little stunned.

"Arthur..."

"Sorry, forget I asked. It was a stupid question."

"It wasn't a stupid question." Guinevere smiles at him. "I think I'm ready too." The pair regard one another, the hunger in Arthur's eyes growing. He moves closer to her, placing a soft kiss on her lips, the passion increases as the kiss turns into one filled with hungry desire. Guinevere pulls away again.

"I really have to go." She says, wiping Arthur's lips with her fingers. He kisses her again, an uncontainable smile on his face.

* * *

><p>"Merlin!"<p>

Lancelot had decided to leave his chambers.

"Merlin!"

Merlin was pretending he couldn't hear him.

"Merlin!"

"What?" Merlin turns around, frowning. Lancelot is taken aback.

"Have you seen Ofarthur recently?"

"No." Merlin replies bluntly.

"What's wrong with you?"

"How do you mean?"

"You're in a mood."

"I am not."

"Merlin, you are. You're usually bright and chirpy. It's like we've had personality transplants."

Merlin shrugs, still frowning.

"I'm fine."

"If you insist."

"Why do you need to see Guinevere anyway?"

"I just want to see if she's okay."

"Trust me, she's okay." Merlin replies dryly.

"Why did you say it like that?"

"Like what?" Merlin's voice is still dry.

"Like that."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"What do you know, Merlin?"

"Nothing."

"Tell me."

"I said I know nothing." Merlin persists before walking away from Lancelot, leaving him alone, a suspicious look engraved on his face.

* * *

><p>"You promise me things are okay with you and Arthur?" Gwaine and Caroline in the queen's chambers surrounded by her many flowers.<p>

"I promise, Gwaine."

"Then why were you crying?"

"Things have changed. That's all."

"How?" Gwaine scans her chambers, a worried expression on his face.

"Since Uther's death, the pressures of being King and Queen may have added some strain." Caroline pauses, a forced smile on her face. "But it's nothing we can't handle."

Gwaine nods.

"If anything was wrong, you would tell me, wouldn't you?"

"Of course."

"Look, Caroline. I'm not going to lie to you," Gwaine locks eyes with hers. "Arthur probably is enjoying his surrogate." Caroline feels herself about to be sick. She wants Gwaine to shut up. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy my surrogate." Caroline frowns at him. "But... it's Vivette I love, and that's all that matters."

"That's supposed to make me feel better?"

"Doesn't it?" Gwaine is confused.

"Arthur is enjoying being with that _thing_ but deep down inside he loves me, and somehow that's meant to make up for it all?" Caroline's eyes begin to redden, her anger building.

"Caroline..."

"Shut up, Gwaine. You haven't got a clue. You've always been a bit dim."

"Watch your mouth, Caroline." Gwaine's anger increases simultaneously with Caroline's.

Caroline laughs.

"What are you going to do? I am the queen. _I am the queen_. King Arthur is my husband." A maniac look begins to plague her face. Gwaine stares at her, his face filled with fearsome worry. He takes a couple of deep breaths before placing his hand on Caroline's shoulder. Her body softens at his touch.

"Caroline, have you been sleeping well?" Gwaine asks, genuinely worried for his childhood friend.

"No." Caroline begins sobbing again. "No, I haven't." She wipes her face, "how can I sleep when I know he's with her? How can I? Does Vivette sleep? Does she?"

Gwaine nods.

"Do you really believe that? _Really?_ You really believe she sleeps? You really believe she'd tell you if she didn't? You really believe she likes the idea of you touching that piece of dirt you call a surrogate? Do you think knowing you love her makes up for the fact that you're enjoying that toy? Do you, Gwaine?"

"No." Gwaine's voice is hoarse.

"Of course you don't really believe any of it. You'd be an idiot to." A single tear rolls down Caroline's face as she picks up a nearby rose, taking in its scent. Gwaine stares at her, frozen.

* * *

><p>Ofgwaine was at the check-up. Guinevere didn't want to see her, but it was unavoidable. Would she have to say sorry? Apologize for something that was completely out of her hands. Out of anyone hands. Yes, she would. Apologizing was the decent thing to do. She hadn't gone through the pain of losing a child, a child that wasn't yours, a child that will never be yours, and so Guinevere had to apologize, for being fortunate.<p>

"I'm sorry." Guinevere says, staring at the solemn looking Ofgwaine. Her dark hair drapes down past her chest, framing her pale face. Guinevere swallows.

Ofgwaine smirks.

"It's not your fault, is it?"

Guinevere nods.

"It's not anyone's fault."

Guinevere nods again.

"I shouldn't care, I know that."

"You'd be heartless not to."

"The child was never mine. It was Vivette's."

Guinevere nods.

"I've been stupid for forgetting that." Ofgwaine stares at Guinevere. "Don't ever forget your place."

"That's not what you said before."

"I know what I said before. I was stupid, and wrong. Don't ever forget what you are. Ever. Don't ever let your commander trick you into thinking you're important. You're not. Men are good at doing that. Lying. Deceiving."

Guinevere nods.

"Don't ever forget that."

Guinevere nods for the last time.

"Ofarthur!" She makes her way towards Aunt Pauline for her check-up, unable to get what Ofgwaine had just told her out of her mind.

Was Arthur deceiving her? Was she being stupid?

* * *

><p>"You didn't tell me you were visiting, Gwaine." Arthur smiles at his friend, taking a sip from his glass of wine. Gwaine smiles at the king, trying to disguise his inner feelings of worry.<p>

"I wanted to surprise you both." Gwaine replies, returning his gaze to the plate of food in front of him. He wasn't hungry, but it would be impolite of him to not eat the king's food, it would also be suspicious. Sir Gwaine wasn't usually one to turn down a free meal.

"I must be honest, Gwaine. It hardly seems appropriate..." Arthur pauses, a serious expression now on his face. "…what with recent events and whatnot."

"Honestly, sire, that's exactly why it's appropriate. I felt like I was suffocating from all the depression. I wanted to see my closest friend. Take my mind of things." Arthur nods, smiling softly. His gaze quickly shifts towards Caroline. She was being extremely quiet. It wasn't unusual, but she was usually much better at putting up the doting wife front when guests were around.

"You're being unusually quiet, Caroline." Arthur says, his eyes still fixed on hers.

"Not feeling too well."

"I see." Arthur knows she's lying. He's about to say something but is interrupted by the arrival of Merlin.

"Sire!"

"Merlin, what have I told you about knocking?"

"Sorry, sire. I will knock next time, sire." Merlin responds, his voice determined.

"What do you want then?"

"Can I have a word, sire?"

Arthur laughs.

"A word?"

"Yes, sire."

Servants aren't meant to ask kings for 'words'.

"You're not being serious, surely? Can't you see I'm in the middle of something?"

"I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important." Merlin pauses, his eyes locked with Arthur's. "You know that."

Arthur nods, excusing himself from Gwaine and Caroline. He and Merlin make their way out of the dining hall and into the passage.

Arthur stares expectantly at his servant.

Merlin swallows. He suddenly felt nervous. Whatever feelings of determination he once had immediately vanished now he was face to face with his once friend.

"Well?"

"Arthur-" Merlin stutters. "I mean, sire..."

"Yes?"

"Sire, I know."

Arthur is puzzled.

"Know what exactly?"

"I know..."

Merlin doesn't want to have to spell it out. He nods his head suggestively, hoping the king will catch on.

"Know what, Merlin? I'm not a mind reader."

Merlin sighs.

"I know about you and Guinevere. I know."

Arthur doesn't give anything anyway.

"And what do you know exactly?"

"Do you really want me to spell it out for you?"

Arthur thinks.

"Yes, if you must." He eventually says, his heart racing.

"I know you and Guinevere are having relations with one another." Merlin's voice deepens. "I know. Don't deny it. I know, Arthur. I've known for the past two weeks."

Arthur swallows.

"No. No, you can't." His eyes widen with shock. "No. How? When?"

"Your birthday banquet. I saw you two kissing. In her chambers." Merlin pauses. "I wouldn't have thought anything of it, but there wasn't a witness outside, and she was kissing you back... and it looked like you were enjoying it, sire."

Arthur stares deep into his servant's eyes.

"I wasn't enjoying it." He lies. He had to lie. If he admitted his feelings for Guinevere, what's to stop Merlin from blurting it out to someone accidentally? What if he accidentally tells Caroline? No. No. He couldn't admit that what he had with Guinevere was anything more than him playing away. He couldn't put Guinevere in danger. No. He couldn't.

"You weren't?"

"No."

Merlin is unconvinced.

"I wasn't. She's something to pass the time. That's all." Arthur continues to lie, the pain in his chest growing.

"So... you don't love her or anything like that?" Merlin says, a slight smile on his face.

"No. Don't be stupid, Merlin." Arthur forces a laugh. "I can't _like_ a surrogate, let alone love one."

Merlin laughs nervously with him.

"Does she love you?"

"I don't know." Arthur responds honestly. "She'd be stupid to."

Merlin nods.

"She's very fragile, sire." Merlin sighs. "I know it's not my place, but maybe you should stop whatever it is you're doing with her."

"Merlin, it isn't your place." Arthur's voice is stern.

"I know but-"

"But what?"

"But if you don't love her... why continue on? If you want to relieve yourself, sire, your wife is always there. Guinevere is nothing but a walking womb." Merlin says, making himself sick a little. He didn't really think Gwen was nothing but a vessel solely made for holding children. Of course he didn't.

"I was planning on ending it anyway." Arthur lies again. "She was beginning to bore me."

Merlin stares at Arthur, barely recognizing him. Who was the man in front of him? He was becoming more and more like Uther with each waking day. "Merlin, there's no need to mention to this to anyone. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Good."

* * *

><p>Guinevere was back from her check-up. Lancelot had been waiting for her outside her chambers. Her face drops upon seeing him by her door.<p>

"Ofarthur." He says, smiling at her. Guinevere nods, avoiding his penetrative gaze.

"Can we talk?"

"I really need to have a bath, maybe some other time." Guinevere replies, making her way inside. Lancelot follows before she can lock the door behind her. She sighs exasperatedly.

"What exactly do you want from me?"

"Why didn't you come that night?" Lancelot asks, his voice soft and filled with hurt.

"I didn't want to."

"Why not?"

"Why didn't I want to?"

Lancelot nods.

"I don't know. I barely know you. The thought of it... it made me sick." Guinevere answers honestly.

"I make you sick?"

"No."

"No?"

"You don't make me sick." Guinevere stares at him. "I just can't be with you, not like that."

"But you make an exception for the king?"

"Excuse me?" Guinevere was hurt. He'd made her sound cheap.

"Well, it's true. You barely know the king. Yet you walk in and out of your duty showing no signs of distress. It's almost as if you enjoy it."

Guinevere slaps Lancelot before she can think. He falls back before stabling himself, his left hand on his right cheek, he stares at her.

"What was that for?" Lancelot walks slowly towards her, she walks backwards away from him.

"I'm sorry." She whispers. "I don't know what came over me. I just... you said I enjoyed it, and I lost it." Guinevere stares at the floor, hand on her mouth, ashamed.

"It's fine. I was out of order." The pair stare at one another. Their moment is interrupted by three knocks on the door.

It was Arthur.

Neither Guinevere nor Lancelot move.

Impatient, Arthur walks in before he can be allowed in. He's more than a little shocked to see Lancelot and Guinevere staring at each other.

"Am I interrupting something?" He asks, his voice cold.

"No! Lancelot was just leaving." Lancelot nods, taking one last look at Guinevere before leaving her chambers.

Guinevere bites her lip nervously.

The king and his surrogate are alone.

"What did he want?"

"He wanted to know where I was all day. I didn't tell him about the check-up. He must have gotten worried. It is his job to guard me after all." Things were suddenly awkward between Arthur and Guinevere. Neither of them were entirely sure why.

"Guinevere, look." Arthur pauses. "We should perform the act tomorrow."

Guinevere's eyes widen.

"It won't mean anything." He adds.

"What?" Guinevere is hurt.

"I've been wrong to lead you on like this." Arthur continues.

"What?" Guinevere repeats.

"I've been taking advantage of you, trying to get you to trust me so the process would take less time, but let's not forget why you're here, Guinevere."

"And why's that?" Guinevere stops herself from crying.

"You're a surrogate_. Commanders don't love surrogates. Commanders use surrogates, take the babies and live a happy life with their wives_." Arthur repeats word for word the infamous lines from a speech his father made. He stares coldly at Guinevere. "That's all you are, Guinevere. Ofarthur." He corrects himself. "So tomorrow things will go back to how they should be. I am no longer Arthur, I am the king, you are Ofarthur. Caroline is my wife. Caroline is who I love... and you will bear us a child." Arthur says, trying to convince himself of his own words.

Guinevere nods. Ofgwaine was right.

She'd been so stupid. How could she have been so stupid?

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Please forgive me for the long wait. I feel terrible. Reviews are forever appreciated.<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: I apologise so so so so much for the LONG wait. SO MUCH. FORGIVE ME. I had exams. 7 to be exact. They were important. I was busy. I just didn't have time. However, here is the new chapter. It's really strange. I don't like it myself, but I really wanted to push the story forward. I hope some of you like it, I'm expecting a lot of Merlin hate, but I've always wanted Merlin to be a more complex character in the show, so this chapter explores that a little. Enjoy! Reviews are appreciated. SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT! Forgive me.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9: Jealousy<strong>

Guinevere was over Arthur, or so she'd tell herself. She didn't love him anymore. Of course she didn't. She was never really in love with him. She was just swept away in a delusional whirlwind romance. Realistically, nothing was ever going to come of it. Not really. She had been naive, silly, childish, she hated that. It wasn't like her to forget her place so easily. It wasn't like her to let herself be taken advantage of so cheaply. Guinevere wasn't cheap, Arthur obviously thought otherwise. He'd used her. He'd squeezed the innocence out of her.

They'd performed the act since Arthur called off their inappropriate relations. Guinevere had to make herself feel numb, she had to make herself forget all the nice things he'd said to her, the way he used to make her feel alive for that brief moment when she actually thought they would be together. Guinevere had to remind herself that King Arthur was in love with Queen Caroline. Guinevere had to remind herself that Arthur, King Arthur, saw her as nothing more than an empty container. To be fair to the king, it didn't seem like he was enjoying it either. The whole process had been just as uncomfortable for the king as it had been for her.

Arthur had felt something. He didn't want to, he wished he hadn't, but he had. Arthur wasn't sure if his surrogate had felt something too. _Did she feel something?_ Why did he care? If she did feel something, would that make him happy? Sad? Hopeful? Would he be stupid to be happy about Guinevere feeling something whilst they performed the act? _Performed._ Arthur hated that word. _Performed._ Like it was a carefully thought out routine.

It wasn't. It was spontaneous. He knew Guinevere felt it too. He knew it.

"Sire, can I go now?" Guinevere's voice was dry. Her eyes down on the floor as her white night dress hung loose on her small frame. Arthur couldn't take his eyes off her. She was beautiful and pretending to not find her attractive was difficult for him. It would have been difficult for any man.

"Yes. Of course. We're done now." Arthur replied, his voice too was dry. Clearing his throat, he attempts to sound more confident. "Hopefully we won't have to do that again." A bittersweet smile played on his face. Guinevere was going to be sick. If she'd stayed in there any longer, she would have been sick. Nodding her head, she walked quickly out of his chambers, resting her back on the door after her hasty exit. She began sobbing quietly to herself. She knew why she was crying. It wasn't because someone she hated the man who had just taken away her innocence. She didn't hate the king. She was crying _because _she didn't hate him, because no matter how hard she'd tried, she couldn't bring herself to hate him. She couldn't bring herself to detest him, to want to kill him, to hate him the way Ofgwaine hated _her_ commander. She felt sick. What kind of surrogate doesn't hate her commander using her? Making her feel dirty? She _was _sick. That's why she was crying. Because she was a disgrace, she felt like a disgrace. She didn't hate her duty. She didn't hate being in the king's arms. She didn't feel cheap even though that's exactly what she was. Yet she couldn't admit that she loved Arthur, because she didn't. She couldn't. Of course she couldn't.

* * *

><p>"It gets easier" were Lancelot's words of consolation. Guinevere scoffed. He'd found her crying by Arthur's chambers, and after great persistence convinced her to have a drink in his room.<p>

"And you'd know that, would you?" Guinevere's tone was cold.

"You're not the first surrogate I've guarded. Most surrogates find that it takes time." Lancelot pauses, staring at her. "I don't understand it though, Guinevere." Lancelot pauses again. Guinevere stares suspiciously at him. "You were fine with performing the act before. I mean, you weren't fine, but you didn't react like this. You seemed okay." Lancelot is careful with his words.

"I was good at putting up a front." Guinevere lies.

"Very good."

"Are you getting at something?"

"No, not at all. It's just that... I don't trust the king – "

"-no one does." Guinevere interrupts.

"No, but I really don't trust him, and I wouldn't put anything past him." Lancelot takes a sip from his glass.

"What are you saying?"

"Does he hurt you? Does the king abuse his power over you?"

Guinevere shakes her head.

"And you'd tell me if he did?"

"No." Guinevere pauses."No, I wouldn't. I don't trust you."

Lancelot is hurt by her words.

"Why not?"

"I barely know you."

"Would you tell Merlin if he hurt you?"

"He doesn't hurt me, so why does it matter?" Guinevere snaps.

"I'm sorry. I should be more sensitive."

Guinevere stares coldly at him.

"Are you always this nosy?"

Lancelot laughs.

"No. I don't usually talk much. I guess I just find you intriguing."

"Why? What's so intriguing about a cheap surrogate?"

"You're different." Lancelot feels himself blushing.

"What's different about me?" Guinevere's eyebrows rise, her tone inquisitive.

"Everything."

Guinevere laughs.

"You're strange, do you know that?"

"Am I strange in a good way?" Lancelot smiles. Guinevere looks down thinking for a moment.

"To be quite honest, I'm not sure. You're just strange." A small smile plays on her face as she studies her guardian. He seemed so insecure. Like every word she uttered mattered to him. Guinevere liked that.

* * *

><p><em><strong>A week later.<strong>_

"We're having a ball, Merlin. Why are you dressed like that?" The Pendragons were having a ball to celebrate the first day of summer. It was an annual event and most people often made sure they looked their best.

"I always dress like this." Merlin replies to Arthur who has an unimpressed look on his face.

"Exactly. Merlin, it's about time you made more of an effort."

"Forgive my confidence, sire, but why does it matter to you?" Merlin frowns.

"Luckily for you, Merlin, I will forgive your confidence. You're my servant. You know how these things are, they're a competition as to who can look the best. I'm the king. If my servant looks like he's just been cleaning my room-"

"-I have just been cleaning your room-"

"-The public won't take me seriously." Arthur finishes, putting on a long red jacket, a smug smile on his face. Walking over to his cupboard, he takes out an outfit before throwing it at Merlin who just manages to catch it without falling flat on his face. "Wear that." Arthur says before walking out of his chambers, leaving Merlin alone.

The king was being nice to him. It was strange.

* * *

><p>The ball. Guinevere attended. Caroline made sure of that. She wanted Guinevere near her at all times. Caroline wanted to assert her power over her surrogate in front of all the other nobles. After the Tristan and Isolde affair became public knowledge, wives have become especially insecure, Caroline included.<p>

"Stay with me at all times." Caroline says to Guinevere. Guinevere nods.

"Also, talk. I want the other nobles to feel as though we get on. I don't want them to feel that there is any friction between us, because there isn't. Is there?" A robotic smile grows on Caroline's face.

"No. No there isn't." Guinevere forces a smile.

"Good." Caroline studies Guinevere. "Tie your hair up."

Guinevere is about to ask why but thinks better of it, she ties her hair up without saying a word.

"That's better. Now, let's go say hello to Sir Aaron and his Lady Isabella. Remember, chin up, smile, and talk to me." Guinevere frowns to herself and begins scanning the room as she follows behind Caroline making their way across the large hall. Lancelot spots her, he waves at her, and she smiles back. Merlin notices.

"When did you two become so friendly?" Merlin's voice startles Lancelot's romantic daze.

"Huh?"

"You and Guinevere. I saw that wave, and she actually smiled back instead of looking like the mere sight of you sends her to despair." Merlin replies dryly.

"Ha-Ha, Merlin. But we have become friendlier recently." Lancelot smiles proudly to himself.

"I know. My question is how."

"She realised that I'm not pure evil and can actually be quite interesting to talk to."

"She'll come to regret the day she finally got you talking. I know I do." Lancelot punches Merlin playfully as Merlin walks off over to Arthur, laughing.

* * *

><p>"Merlin, you don't look half bad." Arthur smiles at his servant.<p>

"You look good yourself, sire." Merlin replies, a smile also on his face. The two were acting like old times. Merlin didn't want to let himself believe that they were friends again but he couldn't help it.

"Where's my wife?" Arthur asks as both he and Merlin scan the large hall filled with noble men and women all dressed in their best robes.

"There!" Merlin smiles. "Next to Guinev- I mean Ofarthur by the portrait of your father." Merlin points them out Arthur. Arthur smiles softly. They both looked wonderful. His wife and his surrogate. Guinevere's hair was up, the way he liked it. He shouldn't be noticing little details like that, but he couldn't help himself. He wasn't having any relations with her. He wasn't. He needn't feel guilty.

"Maybe I should leave them to it, she seems to enjoying talking to Sir Aaron anyway." Arthur smiles. Merlin nods before he begins thinking.

"Arthur, I know it's probably completely inappropriate to ask this."

"Then please, Merlin, don't. I for once just want to enjoy myself without you or anyone else giving me grief." Arthur pats Merlin on the shoulder.

"But, it will just keep bugging me if I don't say what is on my mind, sire."

"Fine. Go on."

Merlin smiles.

"Why isn't Guinevere pregnant?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why isn't Guinevere pregnant?" Merlin repeats assuming the king genuinely couldn't hear him.

"I heard you; I just can't believe you're asking me such a ridiculous question."

"I don't think it's that ridiculous. You two have been performing the act for a long while now. I mean, isn't Caroline a little worried?"

"That's Queen Caroline to you, and no, she isn't worried, so honestly, I have no idea why my meddling servant seems to care so much about _my _personal affairs." Arthur's voice turns cold.

"Sire, I didn't mean to upset you." Merlin's voice is reluctant.

"You didn't mean to upset me? So you imply that I'm... sterile?"

"No. That wasn't what I was insinuating at all." Merlin struggles to articulate his thoughts.

"Then what exactly are you getting at?"

"Have you and Guinevere even performed the act?"

"Of course we have." Arthur's voice is defensive. "And stop calling her that. Her name is Ofarthur. If someone hears you..."

"If someone hears me, they won't have idea who I'm talking about. If anything, they'll assume you're having it off with a maid called Guinevere."

"Merlin, is this a joke to you? Are you just trying to wind me up?" Arthur's anger grows.

"No. Sorry. I'll stop messing around. I just really care about Gu-Ofarthur. A lot."

"Merlin, you're not in love with her are you?" Arthur frowns. The thought of his servant being in love with his surrogate bothering him more than it should.

"No. No." Merlin laughs. "No."

"Then why do you care about her?"

"The truth is, we were friends before, before she became your surrogate."

"Merlin, why are you telling me all this?"

"I want us to be honest with each other."

"Why?" Arthur is getting agitated.

"Because this is the only way this whole surrogate business won't end in tears."

"Why would it end it in tears? Merlin, what on earth are you talking about?"

"I think Lancelot might be a little in love with Guinevere."

Arthur laughs.

"You're joking, right? They barely even speak."

"Well, he said they were getting friendlier-"

"Does she like him back?" Arthur's voice becomes somewhat panicky.

"I-I don't know. I think so. She was really cold to him before, but now she's being decent to him, and you know how women are, when they're really cold to someone for no real reason, it often means they like them."

"Guinevere likes Lancelot?" Arthur's voice fills with hurt.

"I shouldn't have told you this, Lancelot will kill me."

"No. I'm glad you did. Now I know to sack him." Arthur's face turns cold.

"What? Arthur, you can't do that."

"Why not? Why can't I sack him? He's broken the rules. He deserves punishment. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't sack him?"

"Because it's easier for you."

"Excuse me, Merlin? You've lost me."

Merlin sighs.

"You don't love Guinevere, right?"

"Right." Arthur lies.

"She doesn't love you; at least I don't think she does. Ever since you ended things with her, she's _really_ gone off you."

Arthur is hurt by Merlin's words.

"Okay."

"Lancelot likes Guinevere." Merlin continues. "Guinevere might like Lancelot."

"You're not suggesting I let him impregnate Guinevere, are you?"

"No. Yes? Maybe?"

"You're insane. I should execute you for even suggesting something so stupid. I mean, God. My father would be turning in his grave. A guardian and a surrogate, together. It's wrong. It's sick."

"Sick?"

"Yes. Lancelot being with Guinevere is sickening."

Merlin is stunned by Arthur's words. Arthur turns to stare at Guinevere.

Silence takes over.

"You're in love with her, aren't you?" Merlin asks. His voice a low whisper.

"Excuse me?"

"Don't pretend, Arthur. You're in love with Guinevere. You are. How didn't I see it before? You're in love with your surrogate." Merlin's face is filled with shock.

"Shut up. I'm not."

"You are."

"Shut up, Merlin." Arthur's anger grows.

"You are. You love Guinevere."

"Shut up."

"You do. Of course you do. Why else would you even risk everything to start an affair with her? Oh my God, I should have known. I've been so slow-"

"Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP!" Arthur screams. The hall turns silent and all heads turn to stare at the king whose face is now red with rage. Merlin and the other members of the hall stare stunned at him. Arthur walks out. Tears building up in his eyes. "No one follow me." He whispers hoarsely as he exits the hall.

* * *

><p>"Everyone! Please be merry! The king is fine. I assure you." Caroline forces a smile as she addresses the hall. The music begins playing once more and Caroline walks over to Merlin, a frown on her face.<p>

"What on earth did you say to him?"

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me, Merlin. I could have you killed." Caroline's tone is harsh.

"I didn't say anything to him."

"So he just decided to scream at you telling you to shut up for no real particular reason?"

"Yes."

"Do you think I'm stupid?"

"No, my lady. I'm just telling you what happened. I would suggest speaking to the king."

"Don't suggest anything to me."

"I apologise, my lady."

* * *

><p>"What on earth is going on?" Lancelot walks straight over to Guinevere who has a worried expression planted on her face. As much as she didn't want to be, she was worried about the king. She'd never seen him lose his temper like that. Ever.<p>

"I have no idea. I wonder what Merlin said to him." Guinevere looks up to stare at Lancelot. He stares back longingly at her.

"Why don't we get out of here?" Lancelot says, a reluctant tone to his voice.

"Sorry?"

"Now is our chance. The king or queen aren't here."

"Where would we go?" Guinevere entertains the idea.

"There's this balcony, at the right wing of the castle. The sky at this time of the evening, it's wonderful. I often stare at it, thinking about the time before. I try not to think too long. You know, because of the eyes, but that balcony is so calm, Guinevere. I think you'll love it." Lancelot beams.

"Okay, but we can't stay too long, we don't know when Caroline may return and my absence can't be noticed." Guinevere states her conditions.

"Of course, we won't stay long. I'll get you back in time. I promise."

* * *

><p>Arthur was staring out the window of his chambers. He was angry. He didn't know he was so angry. Why Merlin suggesting that he could even possibly love Guinevere-Ofarthur bothered him so much, but it did. He didn't want to love her. He didn't like the idea of loving her. Loving a surrogate wasn't done. It wasn't. He wasn't going to start endorsing something so ridiculous.<p>

"Arthur." He turns to see his wife staring at him. Worried.

"Hey."

"What happened? What did Merlin say?"

"Nothing. I had a headache. The noise. It all got too much, that's all. I'm fine." Arthur lies.

"I see." She doesn't really believe him. "Do you think you can go back?"

"No. I don't think I can. But you go, you have fun. You don't need to spend your night looking after me."

"I want to." Caroline persists moving closer to him.

"I don't want you to."

She's hurt.

"I don't mean it like that. I just mean that... I want you to be happy, be merry. To have fun." Arthur forces a half smile. Caroline returns it.

"Being with the love of my life, my husband makes me happy more than anything."

Arthur smiles again, feeling guilty. He moves closer to his wife and embraces her, caressing her hair with his hands as he does so.

* * *

><p>"What are you two doing here?" Merlin walks in on Lancelot and Guinevere at the balcony.<p>

"We needed some air." Lancelot replies smiling to himself. Merlin rolls his eyes.

"You two are being really stupid." Merlin continues, his voice cold.

"Excuse me?" Guinevere is taken aback.

"Sneaking out to the balcony to stare at the stars? You know what the rumours are like about guardians and surrogates and here you are, being about as discreet as black cat in snow." Merlin rolls his eyes.

"I don't know what happened with you and Arthur, but it's hardly our fault." Guinevere's anger grows.

Merlin rolls his eyes again.

"What _did_ happen with you and Arthur anyway?"

"I was being really stupid." Merlin says, leaning against the balcony as he rubs his fingers over his face exasperatedly.

"How?"

"I thought Arthur and I were close again."

"Stupid." Lancelot interrupts.

"I know." Merlin pauses. "So I started giving him advice, like I used to. He didn't take it too well."

Guinevere raises her eyebrow.

"What did you actually suggest?"

"Trust me. You don't want to know. You'd both hate me."

"Merlin."

Merlin laughs nervously.

"I knew how close you two were and I may have stupidly suggested that maybe you two could maybe-"

"Merlin, you didn't." Guinevere's eyes widen.

"I did."

"Are you insane?"

"It's not unheard of."

"And you didn't think to, I don't know, ask us first?" Guinevere screams.

"Why is everyone acting like it's such a big deal? No one really follows protocol. You and Arthur hate performing the act. I thought I was doing you all a favour. I thought I was being a good friend to all of you." Merlin attempts to defend himself.

"You must really think I'm cheap, don't you?"

"What? Guinevere, you know I don't."

"Maybe we should all calm down." Lancelot attempts to defuse the situation.

"You do, Merlin. You must really think performing the act is like picking flowers to me. Guinevere, the cheap surrogate. _She won't mind if I suggest who she sleeps with next without consulting her_. How could you?"

"I'm sorry. I thought I was helping. You said you hated it. You said being with Arthur made you sick, but..."

"But what?"

"But most of the time you don't even act like it makes you sick. You don't, Guinevere. You act normal. I thought maybe you two hadn't been performing the act. I thought maybe you couldn't. You're not pregnant either."

"So, you just decided to play with my life?"

"Gwen, Gwen why are you being like this?"

"Honestly, Merlin. I want nothing to do with you. You are _not_ my friend. You are nothing to me." Guinevere walks off, tears in her eyes. Lancelot stares at Merlin, a disappointed look on his face.

"Lancelot, please tell her I didn't mean to harm her. I didn't. I was- I was just trying to help."

"Your life must be really empty, Merlin."

"Excuse me, Lancelot?"

"You have no other purpose to your life, so you just meddle with everyone else. You just find a way to take away everyone's chance of happiness." Lancelot's voice is cold.

"I was trying to help!"

"Well, you didn't. Just stay out of my way. Okay. This regime has really messed you up. You're one of those sorry victims my father was always talking about. A slave to Camelot."

"You've lost it." Merlin scoffs at Lancelot.

"Maybe we've all lost it." Lancelot says coldly before walking off. Merlin is left alone on the balcony. He felt terrible. Was Lancelot right? Was he losing himself? Was this regime making him go crazy? He missed Gaius so much. He missed how things used to be. When things were easier. When things made sense. When he had friends.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry again for the long wait! Feedback is welcome!<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: HELLO! I apologise for the long wait, I've been extremely busy. I didn't get much reviews for the last chapter :(, I hope you all haven't lost interest. Thanks to all the people PMing me asking me when I'm going to update, the more people feedback, the more motivated I am to update. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's pretty dialogue driven. I don't like it that much but this will be when the story has a turning point. I hope you like it. Review and share! Thanks :D (Also, sorry it's a bit short)**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10: Love<strong>

Everyone was avoiding Merlin. That's what it felt like to him anyway. It had been two days since the ball and Guinevere hadn't said a word to him, Lancelot had since been suspended and Guinevere's duties had also been relaxed causing suspicion amongst Camelot. Most people had put two and two together and come to the conclusion that Lancelot was having inappropriate relations with Ofarthur. It wasn't rare, it wasn't unheard of. It was also becoming increasingly unlikely that Arthur would ever gain an heir. Was it time to give up? Accept their faith and pick an honorary heir?

"I think it's time we spoke, don't you?" Arthur finally gives up on the silent treatment. He stares at Merlin, watching as he silently tidies the chambers. Merlin stops making the King's bed and turns to face him, a forced smile on his face.

"Of course."

"What you said at the ball…" Arthur pauses. "… about Guinevere and Lancelot being in love with one another-"

"I never said they were in love." Merlin interrupts. He swallows nervously immediately after.

"You implied it." The king's voice is cold.

"I didn't do so intentionally."

"You then went as far as to suggest that _I_ was in love with the surrogate." Arthur's voice is still cold. _The surrogate._ Lacking in any emotion.

"I apologise, sire."

Arthur scoffs.

"You're not sorry." Arthur moves closer to Merlin.

"I am." Merlin persists.

"No you're not. You still think I'm in love with her."

"I don't."

"Yes you do."

"I don't sire, I promise." Merlin is lying. In fact, he was convinced of it and nothing could change his mind about Arthur's feelings for Guinevere, Ofarthur, The Surrogate.

"Merlin, stop lying. I find it insulting." Arthur moves closer again.

"I'm sorry." Merlin apologises, though he's not sure why.

"Why do you think I'm in love with her?"

"Sorry?"

"Why, Merlin, do you think I love her? What gives you that impression?" Arthur moves closer again.

"I don't know."

"Oh, Merlin. Don't beat around the bush. I'm asking for your opinion. I can't get angry at you if you tell me it." Arthur smiles a little.

"I guess..." Merlin pauses, smiling nervously, "I guess maybe because I've seen you in love before. Like when you were in love with Caroline."

"And how do I behave when in love?"

"You deny it. A lot. You're unaware that you're denial makes it more obvious. You do little compassionate things for the person; you also often stare at them without realising."

Arthur smiles to himself.

"Do you think me suspending Lancelot was harsh?" Arthur sits down on his bed, sighing heavily.

"Yes."

Arthur nods.

"Should I bring him back?"

"Well, he needs the money, and it would stop all the rumours."

Arthur nods again.

"You know where he lives, right?"

"No, but I could find out."

"Tell him he has his job back." Arthur stands up about to make his way out.

"Arthur, what are you going to do about your feelings for Guinevere?" Merlin asks reluctantly.

"Nothing. What can I do? Divorce Caroline and marry my surrogate? I can't do that. I can't do anything. I just wait for them to die. Love is fickle. I once loved Caroline. I don't anymore." He pauses. Merlin is unnerved by Arthur's comment regarding his lack of love for his wife. "I'll eventually stop loving Guinevere. If Guinevere wants to sleep with Lancelot. She can." Arthur half smiles and walks out.

* * *

><p>A knock on the door. Guinevere places on her veil before opening it.<p>

It's Lancelot. To her surprise.

"You're back." Guinevere's voice comes out as a whisper.

"Yes. The king let me come back. Randomly." Lancelot smiles as Guinevere allows him into her chambers.

"That's weird." Guinevere stares at him. She takes off her veil. He smiles. "Everyone is talking about us."

"I know."

"I hate Merlin." Guinevere says sternly.

Lancelot shakes his head.

"No you don't."

"I do. I do. What kind of friend is he? How could he do that to us?"

"Guinevere... I spoke to him today and he seems truly sorry."

"Really?" Guinevere replies unconvinced.

"Yes. Guinevere, I know you don't love me-"

"Of course I don't." Guinevere snaps.

"And I don't love you." Lancelot lies. "So who cares what anyone else thinks? We're friends. We don't have to do anything. I just, I just have to guard you. I understand that now. I wouldn't do anything to put you in danger."

Guinevere stares at her guardian, giving no emotion away. She sits down in front of the mirror.

"The king has requested to see me tonight." She pauses, picking up her brush. "I'm scared and I don't know why."

"Are you scared you'll have to perform the act?"

"No. Not because of that. I can desensitize myself to that."

"Why then?"

"I'm scared, I don't know. I just am."

Lancelot frowns at Guinevere. Without saying a word, he sits on her bed watching as she brushes her hair, a blank expression on her face. The pair sit in silence like that for a couple of hours, neither of them saying a word.

* * *

><p>Caroline was watching her husband as he stood over the balcony, deep in thought. The stars were out, they were beautiful she thought. Arthur had noticed her presence but chose to ignore it. He didn't want to talk to her. He didn't want to look at her. He didn't want to touch her. He didn't want anything to do with his wife and it made him feel sick. She was his wife. Why didn't he want her? Why didn't he love her? What changed? He hated himself for loving Guinevere. He wished he could stop. He wished he'd never met her. He wished-<p>

"Hey." Caroline's voice interrupts his train of thought.

"Hey." He replies, avoiding her gaze, her body next to his.

"You brought the guardian back."

Arthur nods.

"You didn't tell me why you suspended him in the first place."

"Sorry." One word answers. Caroline should be used to it.

"Why did you suspend him?"

"He spoke out of turn." Arthur lies.

"What did he say?"

"I can't remember."

"You must remember, it was bad enough to suspend him over."

"Caroline, can you just give it a rest?" Arthur snaps walking away from the balcony.

"I'm sorry."

"And stop apologising for everything!" He shouts.

"I'm sorry."

Arthur rolls his eyes.

"I am sick to death of this." Arthur continues. "What are we doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you love me, Caroline, properly?"

"Of course."

"Really?"

"Arthur, of course, don't ever doubt my love for you."

Arthur forces a smile.

"Do you love_ me_?" Caroline asks, her voice reluctant.

Arthur nods. He lies.

"Really?"

He nods again.

"Tell me. Tell me you love me."

Arthur pauses.

"Tell me." The pain in Caroline's voice grows.

"I love you, Caroline." He lies again. "I love you."

Caroline kisses him, he kisses her back, but stops it soon after. Caroline is confused.

"Why did you stop?"

"I have plans."

Caroline's face falls.

"I'm sorry." That word again. Arthur plants a soft kiss on his wife's lips and makes his way to his chambers; Guinevere would be there by now.

* * *

><p>He was late. Guinevere was anxious, she plays with her hair nervously. She still felt scared and she had no idea why. Why was she scared? It was just Arthur. What was there to be scared of?<p>

"Hey." Arthur's voice interrupts her train of thought. He gestures for her to enter as he wipes his sweaty hands on his trousers.

The pair regard one another.

"You wanted to see me?"

"Yes. I did. I'm just going to get right to it. Do you love Lancelot?"

"Excuse me?"

"Because, Ofarthur, if you do. Feel free to perform the act with him. I won't say anything. You have my approval, you'll bear us a child. We'll let you both go and you can start a family of your own. It's fine. This way everyone is happy."

"You're just as bad as her." Guinevere mutters under her breath. Arthur hears.

"As bad as who?"

"No one." Guinevere replies, she stares coldly at his blue eyes. "I don't love Lancelot."

"You don't?"

"No." Guinevere says again. "So what happens now?"

"I don't know."

"You didn't think that far? You were that convinced that I was in love with Lancelot? Does no one value my opinion?"

"I'm sorry, I just assumed." Arthur feels flustered.

"I can't believe I ever thought-"

"You ever thought what?"

"I ever thought I felt something for you." Guinevere says confidently.

"What did you feel towards me?" The king moves closer to her, his eyes fixed on her lips.

"I-I don't know." Guinevere stutters, she felt nervous; her attraction to the king was undeniable.

"Do you love me, Guinevere?"

"I don't know."

"Because I love you." Arthur lets out, not thinking straight, not caring.

Guinevere's eyes widen at the king's words.

"No you don't." She whispers.

"I do. I know I do. I love you, Guinevere."

"You don't. You can't. You don't. How can you love me?"

"How can I not?" The king moves closer again, his face inches away from her. He kisses her softly, she doesn't pull away. "How can I not love you?" He kisses her again; she kisses him back this time. "How can I not? Have you seen you? You're perfect." He kisses her again, this time more passionately; she kisses him back, her arms around his neck. "You're so perfect." The pair kiss again, their hunger for one another growing. They slowly move to the bed, still embraced, fully absorbed with one another, forgetting the extent of their actions, ignoring the severity of what they were doing, completely indifferent to the world outside of them.

King Arthur and his surrogate make love.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Oooh. Passionate love making! Thanks for reading. Reviews are appreciated!<strong>

**PS: I'm looking for someone to make a graphic for the story? So, if anyone is interested, please PM me. I would post my email/tumblr but won't let me. :(**

**Thanks again!**


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Hello. Thanks so much for the feedback and reviewing! I appreciate it so much! Please keep feeding back. This chapter is longer than most, and is pretty much double the length of the previous one! Yaaay. I enjoyed writing this chapter, so I hope you enjoy it. This update is punctual, and I hope my punctuality will continue but I can't promise anything. Thanks for your continued support! Review, share, follow and add to favourites!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 11: Lies And Memories.<strong>

Everyone lies, in one way or another, some lies are big, some lies are small, some lies are hurtful, some lies are harmless. Arthur thought the lies he fed Caroline were harmless. He was lying to himself of course. Lying to your wife about your whereabouts while you meet your surrogate to carry on inappropriate relations isn't harmless. It was easier to lie himself, convince himself that nothing seriously bad would happen, convince himself that everything would work itself out. He was being ridiculous, he knew it deep inside. Deep inside, he knew lying to Caroline like this was wrong. Even as a child, he knew lying was wrong. He didn't have the best role model growing up. His father was Uther Pendragon, the greatest King of Camelot. You don't get a title like that by telling the truth, you don't get a title like that without a few harmless lies, _and_ a few hurtful ones. Arthur knew that. His father used to lie to Arthur's mother all the time. About little things. Big things. Silly things. Serious things. Arthur still remembers the day Uther decided to re-implement the surrogacy scheme. Child-birth was low, infertility was high, it made sense. All his forefathers and all the previous rulers of Camelot were never afraid to implement schemes such as the Surrogacy regime, Uther wasn't going to be afraid, regardless of what his wife said.

So he lied.

He went against Ygraine's wishes and implemented it. Arthur hated his father for lying like that. He didn't have to lie about it. _Lying was wrong_. Arthur would never forget the hurt on his mother's face when Uther unexpectedly announced the scheme would be introduced. Arthur would never forget the look on everyone's face when Uther unexpectedly announced the scheme would be introduced. The scheme hadn't been used in 30 years prior to it, the fertility problem seemed to have been solving itself, Camelot was prosperous, granted, childbirth was low, but it was something most people thought would solve itself over time. Like it always did. Uther was unconvinced. He thought magic was involved, he _knew_ magic was involved. He was convinced there was no way the infertility issue would ever solve itself and for him the current regime was the only way. Arthur was always conflicted as a child. He knew he hated lying, and he knew he loved his father, he knew he wanted to be a great king like his father was, but he also didn't want to be exactly like his father.

With all the lying he was currently doing, was he becoming like his father? Was he becoming the very thing he didn't want to be? It all starts with little lies, lying to your own wife, lying about your feelings, all lies start little harmless, then they grow, into something, something uncontrollable.

Arthur hated feeling guilty about loving Guinevere.

Turning over on his side, he turns to face Guinevere next to him on his bed, a smile plays on his face as he studies her bare body, nothing but his duvet shielding her soft brown skin. He begins caressing her shoulder with his fingers, running them up and down, still lost in thought. Sighing heavily, he decides to waken his surrogate up by placing a soft tender kiss on her neck. Guinevere stirs and awakens, a smile on her face.

"Morning, sleepy head." Arthur says softly. Guinevere smiles at him.

"Morning." She nuzzles up close to him, Arthur places his arm around her pulling her close to him before he begins kissing the crown of her head.

"You okay?"

Guinevere nods, her eyes closed.

"I didn't hurt you?"

Guinevere shakes her head before lifting it to face her Arthur.

"You've never hurt me, not even the first time we did it. Properly that is."

Arthur smiles.

"Good." He pauses. "Cause the last thing I want to do is hurt you. You know that, right?

"Yes."

"Good." Arthur kisses Guinevere. He grabs his shirt and begins dressing himself.

"You're leaving?" Guinevere's face drops.

"I have to visit Caroline's mother today." Arthur says sadly.

"Oh. How long will you be gone?"

"Not long. We'll be back by sundown, we're not staying the night." Arthur smiles, holding Guinevere's hands. "Keep yourself busy, you won't notice I'm gone."

"I think I'll notice." Guinevere's brown eyes lock with Arthur's, an affectionate pout on her face. Arthur laughs.

"You won't. Aren't you getting bored of me?"

"No. Are you getting bored of me?"

"No." The king studies her face, his eyes drawn to her lips, placing a stray hair away from her face, he begins kissing her, the passion begins to increase but the moment is interrupted by a knock on the door. The pair quickly pull away from one another. Arthur hurriedly puts his trousers on and walks over to the door.

It's Merlin.

"What do you want?"

"Caroline told me to tell you to hurry up. She said she's really worried about her mother."

Arthur begins to feel guilty.

"Okay."

"Also, sire, I need to clean your room."

"Don't worry about that. I did some tidying myself last night."

Merlin stares at the king in disbelief.

"Don't overstep the mark, Merlin, I am capable of cleaning."

"Sorry. It's just strange that's all."

"Anyway, just tell Caroline I'll be right down."

Merlin nods, leaving Arthur and Guinevere alone again.

"Who was that?" Guinevere asks, now wearing one of Arthur's shirts.

"Merlin." Arthur smirks. "You look great in that." Arthur walks slowly over to Guinevere, placing his arms around her waist, pulling her close to him, their face inches away from each other.

"Do you think so?"

Arthur nods, he kisses his surrogate again, and this time, they're uninterrupted.

* * *

><p>"He said he'd be down in a bit." Merlin says to Caroline who's waiting anxiously by two fully prepped horses.<p>

"Thanks, Merlin." Merlin smiles and makes to leave.

"Merlin."

"Yes, my lady?"

"Does Arthur talk to you about me?"

Merlin frowns. He could hardly remember the last time Caroline decided to say anything more than small talk to him.

"Not really." He replies reluctantly.

Caroline's face takes a sad expression. Merlin notices and decides to lie.

"Well, he does, but he told me not to tell anyone."

"Really? What does he say?"

"He says that he sometimes finds it hard to show you how much he loves you, but he really does."

"Did he really say that?"

Merlin nods, the guilt from lying already eating him up.

"Sometimes I just get scared, Merlin."

"Scared?"

"Call me stupid." Caroline pauses. "But I get scared that he might not love me anymore."

Merlin forces a laugh.

"Is this the part where I'm allowed to call you stupid? Don't worry, Arthur thinks the world of you. He's always thought the world of you. You were his first love, and I know we've all changed since we were teenagers, but all he used to talk about was you all the time, how beautiful he thought you were. We all thought you were beautiful." Caroline scoffs nostalgically. "We all thought Arthur was lucky in bagging you. You were different from other girls, even Gwaine wanted more than to just bed you at one point, and that's saying a lot!" I smile softly at her.

"Things gave changed a lot since then." Caroline stares nostalgically at Merlin. "I'm sorry things have changed, Merlin. I'm sorry I've changed." Caroline feels herself about to cry.

"You haven't changed, Caroline."

"Yes I have. We all have. You, Arthur, Gwaine and I we used to be so close, we could trust each other with anything." Merlin moves closer to the queen, he places an affectionate hand on her shoulder.

"Arthur became king, he got stressed, he had difficult decisions to make. You became queen. Things got serious, we _had_ to become serious, change was inevitable." Merlin stares deeply into Caroline's eyes.

"You really think Arthur loves me? You think that hasn't changed, after all these years?"

Merlin nods, hating himself for lying.

"Merlin, you're a good friend. I'm sorry I've been so cold towards you the past few years, I'm sorry."

Merlin stares into his old friend's eyes, feeling deeply sorry for her. He knew lying to her like that was wrong, but he couldn't help himself, they'd been friends once, he owed it to her.

The pair embrace silently, both pondering on thoughts from the time before.

"Should I be worried?" Arthur's voice prompts them to part.

Caroline laughs.

"No, Merlin was just consoling me about my mother." Caroline lies.

"Good man, Merlin." Arthur nods at Merlin who nods back. "Are the horses prepped?"

Merlin nods again.

"Then we'll be off then. Have the day off, Merlin."

"Thanks, sire."

* * *

><p>"You look happy!" Lancelot sees Guinevere picking flowers in the garden.<p>

"Do I?" Guinevere is alarmed. What would a surrogate be happy about? She had to begin getting better at hiding her feelings for the king. Surrogates aren't meant to be as content and happy as she is. Of course they weren't.

"Nothing wrong with being happy." Lancelot smiles at her. She smiles back.

"I guess there isn't." The pair stare at the flowers in front of them, genuine smiles on their faces, a comfortable silence takes over.

* * *

><p>Elizabeth was on her deathbed. Any day now. She wasn't going to get to see her grand-children. It broke Caroline's heart. Arthur didn't know where to look. Caroline was sobbing uncontrollably, and he'd never seen Elizabeth look so unwell. It pained him.<p>

"She still not pregnant then?" Elizabeth's voice is frail and sore. Her words startle Arthur and Caroline.

"Excuse me?" Arthur replies, his eyes wide.

"The surrogate. She's still not pregnant?"

"No." Caroline says coldly.

"You might as well sack her." Elizabeth replies, a matter of fact tone to her voice. "She's probably a lying little witch."

Arthur struggles to contain his anger. _A lying little witch_. That was Guinevere she was talking about, and it angered him more than would be considered appropriate.

"There's still time. Her check-up is soon," Arthur replies, a forced faint smile on his face.

"She's been working for you for months now, if she's not pregnant now, she never will be. She's probably one of those lying surrogates, the ones that lie about their fertility so noblemen can provide them with shelter, food, drink and, as a bonus, sexual pleasure." The venom in Elizabeth's voice increases.

"Maybe you should rest your voice." Arthur suggests, a deep frown on his face as Elizabeth begins to cough uncontrollably.

"I'm fine. I'm dying, I've accepted it. I've done what I was meant to in the world. I gave life to a child. What's the point in living if you don't have a child to live for?"

Her mother's words hurt Caroline.

"We're trying, mother."

"Oh, dear." Elizabeth strokes her daughter's face. "It's not _your_ fault, is it? It's the surrogate's fault. She's failed you. You'd do well to get another one. One that works. One that isn't a witch."

"How can you call her a witch? You've never met her!" Arthur blurts out.

"She's a witch, you don't have to meet a witch to know one. She lies about being fertile and yet can't bear you a child, she shares your bed, lets you pleasure her and gives you nothing in return. She's a witch. Don't defend witches, you'll die an early death, Arthur." Elizabeth smiles smugly.

"You're sick." The contempt in Arthur's voice grows.

"Don't speak to her like that."

"Caroline, she's clearly sick, delirious. Can you not hear what she's saying?"

Elizabeth laughs.

"What's so funny?" Arthur snaps.

"You. Defending the witch like your life depends on it. Get a new surrogate, it's not that difficult, your highness." Elizabeth continues, a mocking tone to her voice.

"You're sick."

"Stop calling her that!" Caroline shouts at Arthur.

"You ought to watch out for him. He's probably enjoying his surrogate more than he should be." Elizabeth stares coldly at Arthur. "Defending a surrogate like that is frowned upon, you of all people, sire, should know that."

"I'm not listening to this anymore." Arthur walks out angrily.

"You should be worried about him." Elizabeth says coldly to her daughter.

"He doesn't love the surrogate. She's cheap and dirty, she's a toy. You told me that, remember?"

"Get rid of her, Caroline." A grave look plays on her mother's face.

"I can't do that, only Arthur can."

"Then influence his opinion of her. Exterminate her. Do whatever you can. Just get rid of her."

* * *

><p>Guinevere was missing Arthur, he was only gone for the day. Why did she miss him so much? Ever since the night they made love to each other, a fortnight ago, she felt like she needed him. She wondered if he felt the same way. The uncontrollable urge to be with her all the time, the way her mind races when he touches her. Does he feel like that when she touches him? Does he long for her the way she longs for him? Does she make him feel special the way he made her feel special? She hoped he did.<p>

Her door flies open as Arthur walks in. Startled, she's shocked to see him. He was back early.

"You're back early." She smiles at him. He doesn't smile back.

"What's wrong?"

"Caroline's mother."

"Why? What did she do?" Guinevere walks over to Arthur, he drops his head to stare at her, his expression still serious.

"I wish she'd die already."

"You shouldn't say things like that."

"I'm sorry. I know." Arthur cups Guinevere's face in his hand. "You should have heard the way she was talking about you."

"What did she say?"

"She called you a lying witch." Arthur says bluntly. He notices Guinevere's sad expression. He kisses her softly. "You're not a lying witch, Guinevere. Don't let it get to you." He adds.

"Where's Caroline?"

"Probably still with her mother. She's waiting for her to die I think. It won't be long now." Arthur sighs. "I used to love Elizabeth, something's changed in her now, she's the not the woman I once knew."

"Everyone's changed, Arthur."

Arthur nods. He begins kissing her neck softly, working his way up, but Guinevere soon pushes him away.

"What's wrong?" Arthur is annoyed by this.

"Don't you feel guilty?"

"Why should I feel guilty about loving you?" Arthur frowns.

"You're married."

"I know."

"Doesn't it make you feel bad? The lies." Guinevere stares deeply at her lover.

"It does. Of course it does."

"What if I am a lying witch, Arthur?"

"Stop being silly." Arthur kisses her again. "You're anything but. You're wonderful."

"What happens when I get pregnant?" Guinevere asks reluctantly.

Arthur sighs.

"I don't know."

He sighs again.

"Why don't we just take each day as it comes? Make the most of the time we have together?" Arthur says smiling, studying Guinevere's face. She nods.

"Yeah? That sound like a good idea?"

Guinevere nods again, and the pair begin kissing, slowly, savouring each other.

* * *

><p>Caroline's mother was dead, and she'd asked for only one thing before her departure. She'd asked that Caroline get rid of Guinevere. She'd asked that Caroline do whatever it takes to make herself fertile, whether that involved using magic or consulting with had to become fertile. She had to make that dirty surrogate useless.<p>

She'd arrived back in Camelot, Arthur was back in his chambers at this point, already missing his surrogate. But he couldn't risk going back to see her again. He was already seeing her too much. They needed to be more careful, or they'd get caught, ousted, Arthur didn't need that, Guinevere didn't need that, no one needed that. It was the last thing any of them needed. Arthur stares out of his window, lost in thought, replaying the day's events over in his head. Had he given himself away when he was with Elizabeth? Was he too defensive of Guinevere? He couldn't help it. He felt an uncontrollable need to protect her. That was his main purpose, to protect his surrogate.

"My mother's dead." Caroline's voice is a soft whisper behind him. Arthur's body tenses a little, he turns around to face her, solemn.

"Sorry." He manages to let out.

"You're not sorry, though. Not really."

"That's not true, Caroline."

She nods her head slowly, her expression blank.

"I want you to sack that surrogate." She states. She doesn't ask. He has no option.

"What?"

"I don't care about her giving us a child anymore, we'll find other ways. I just want her gone." Her voice is cold.

"You're upset, tired, you've just lost your mother, we'll talk about this once you feel better." Arthur approaches her slowly.

"I feel fine." Caroline persists. "I am fine. I just want her gone."

"Don't let your mother get to you."

"Oh, shut up, Arthur. Put yourself in my shoes just for one second. Just do it. Would you like it if I was bedding a young handsome man weekly? Would you be okay with that?"

"No." Arthur says honestly.

"Exactly." Caroline pauses. "You'd hate it. Especially if you're not getting the one thing you were promised from that young handsome man. A baby." She pauses again. "What's the point then, eh? There's no point. She has to go, Arthur."

"She's not going anywhere. I don't know about you, but I want an heir." Arthur's voice raises a little.

"Oh. How the tables have turned." Caroline laughs loudly. "This was initially my idea, you hated the thought of a surrogate and now you're her number one fan. How peculiar."

"I just want a child. I want Camelot's future to be secure."

"Then find a fertile surrogate, find one that isn't a lying little witch!" Caroline screams, her body shaking.

"You need to calm down." Arthur's voice is stern.

"If you want me to calm down. Get rid of her, Arthur. I am your wife, I come first, not that thing you get pleasure from." Caroline says bitterly. "I know she pleasures you. You're a man, all men are pigs, I get that. But get rid of her, Arthur."

Arthur shakes his head.

"I can't. I want an heir."

"I'll get you one, just get rid of her."

The king and queen stare at each other.

"If you love me, Arthur. If you ever loved me. You'll do this one thing for me."

"I want a son. A daughter."

"Did you ever love me, Arthur?"

"Of course, Caroline. You know I did." Did.

"Then get rid of her. Do it tomorrow. Please." A tear rolls down Caroline's cheek. "I can't stand her being here anymore, I hate her, the sight of her, she sickens me. Please, Arthur. For me." Deep down, Caroline knew there was no point asking Arthur. _He wouldn't get rid of that dirty harlot. He enjoyed her too much._

Arthur stares at his wife, conflicted. He couldn't get rid of Guinevere. He just couldn't.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: What lengths will Caroline go to get rid of Guinevere? Eek! (<em>PS: I need someone to make a story cover for this story, so if anyone is skilled in photoshop, please PM me! Thanks) (PPS: Don't forget to tell me what you thought of the chapter!)<em>**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: It's been so long. Sorry! Here's the latest chapter. It was a little rushed, but I hope you still like it and stick around for more chapters. Don't worry, we're no where near the end, this is just the turning point of the story. That is, when the plot begins to take its proper shape. I hope you all don't give Arthur too much shtick for this chapter. But he probably deserves it. Haha! Read, review, share! :D**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 12: The Turning Point.<strong>

It was a difficult decision for Arthur. He didn't sleep. The thought of possibly having to say to goodbye to Guinevere kept him awake. Could he possibly say goodbye to her? He'd been swept in in a delusional whirlwind romance with her, he wasn't thinking straight, it was always going to end. Caroline was his queen. Guinevere was... his love? What mattered more? His feelings or the future of Camelot? What would his father do? His dreams kept him awake too. Images of his father reprimanding him. Shouting at him. Making him feel small, unimportant. Arthur had to do this. He had to get rid of Guinevere. It would kill him to do it. It would hurt him in ways no one could understand, but he hardly felt he had a choice. Staying in a loveless marriage seemed like the only logical option. Leaving his wife for his surrogate was a ridiculous notion to endorse. He knew that. He understood that now. He'd been selfish to both Guinevere and Caroline. He'd been unfair, weak minded, a self-obsessed worm, thinking only of himself. Guinevere didn't deserve to be played like this. She wasn't a pawn in his and Caroline's mind games. She was a human being, a wonderful human being, she deserved better than this. Than sneaking around, than empty promises, than stolen kisses and longing looks from a man she could never have. Arthur knew that now. He was doing this for her. He was doing the right thing.

"You're doing the wrong thing, Arthur." Merlin's words hit Arthur hard. He'd confided in Merlin, told him his plan to sack Guinevere. He'd give her house back and give her enough money; she wouldn't have to work as a surrogate again. They'd forget each other. She'd meet someone she could actually be with.

"No, I'm not."

"You are, Arthur. You can't fire Guinevere. You can't just buy her out." Merlin persists.

"I am doing her a favour. I am taking her away from all this. Can't you see how twisted this is?" Arthur responds, his voice filled with certainty.

"You're being weak."

"Don't you dare call me weak, Merlin? This was the hardest decision I've ever had to make. The thought of losing Guinevere is eating away at me."

"You really love her?"

Arthur nods.

"And you really feel this is the only way out?"

Arthur nods again.

"You think Guinevere will thank you for this?"

This time Arthur shakes his head.

"Not at first." He mutters. "She will later." His face is stern.

"She'll hate you, Arthur. She'll never forgive you for this. She'll think you never loved her. She'll feel dirty. She'll feel like you used her and now you're throwing her out. She'll feel worthless. This is what you'll do to her." Merlin's anger grows.

"You're speaking with your heart, Merlin, I respect that. But I've made my decision. Just deliver the message."

"You can't even tell her yourself." Merlin scoffs.

"I can't face her."

"So you get me to do it. That will really show her you care. You'll _really_ be in her good books."

Arthur says nothing.

"I'm not doing it."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm not telling her, Arthur. It's your duty. You have to break her heart. I'm not doing this."

Arthur's face turns cold.

"Merlin, you tell her, or you get sent to the colonies. Your choice."

Merlin is about to say something, but doesn't. He walks out of Arthur's chambers making his way towards Guinevere's, his heart heavy.

* * *

><p>Caroline couldn't decide if she was happy or not. Happiness had become an unfamiliar emotion to her. Is this what it felt like? The prospect of finally getting her husband back made her feel warm. A warm feeling she hadn't felt in so long. He'd seen things her way. He'd thought about her feelings. He'd showed that he still cared about her. He still loved her? Arthur might still love her. He wouldn't have done this for her if he didn't love her. If he didn't want to make a go of things. If he didn't want to make a family with her.<p>

Arthur had done his part of the deal. It was her turn. She had to find a way to make herself fertile.

Walking out of her chambers, Caroline runs into the one person she wanted to see. Merlin. Merlin was still on his way to Guinevere's, his heart still heavy, his mind racing filled with a thousand thoughts. The last thing he wanted to do was talk to the Queen. The Queen who was the driving force behind what would eventually ruin his best friend's life. That's the last thing he wanted to do.

"Merlin." Caroline smiles at him.

He forces a smile.

"Can we have quick chat in my chambers?"

He frowns.

"Why?" He asks. Caroline smiles again.

"I'll explain all in my chambers. Come on." She gestures, leading the way.

"The thing is, my lady, I have to give a very important message to Ofarthur." Merlin says reluctantly.

"I know what the message is. It can wait. Whether she receives it now or in an hour. She'll be gone by sundown." Ofarthur was the least of Caroline's worries now.

Merlin follows the queen into her chambers.

"Merlin, I need to know that I can trust you?"

Merlin frowns.

"What about, Caroline?" He replies, his tone familiar.

"Merlin, can I trust you?"

Merlin nods. He wasn't sure if he was lying to her or not. Could she trust him? He was hardly sure.

"Good." Carline pauses, smiling. "Merlin, if I find out that you were lying to me, that I in fact, can't trust you. This story won't have a happy ending." Caroline continues, a sinister tone to her voice.

Merlin nods and swallows.

"What do you need me for, Caroline?"

"We were friends once, Merlin."

Merlin nods.

"I could trust you once."

"Yes."

"Merlin, magic wasn't outlawed once."

Merlin's face takes one of confusion.

"Caroline, the brief suspension of the outlaw of magic was a mistake in Uther's reign. Everyone acknowledges and accepts that."

"Merlin, you have magic. You can't fully accept that belief." Caroline continues.

Merlin doesn't know what to say. Was this a test?

"I haven't used my magic in years. Not since the surrogacy scheme was introduced by King Uther and magic was outlawed forever." Merlin replies.

"I know, Merlin. And I'm not asking you to use magic; I wouldn't put you at risk like that."

"Then what exactly are you asking?"

"Merlin, I'm infertile."

"Caroline-"

"Merlin, I need to be fertile."

Merlin finally understands what the queen is getting at.

"Who can I speak to, Merlin? Who will ensure that I become fertile?"

"Arthur would never forgive you." Merlin's voice is sore.

"Arthur needn't know." Caroline smiles at Merlin. "He wouldn't understand. So, who can I speak to?"

"I don't know."

"What about your Uncle Gaius?"

"I don't know where he is. I haven't seen him since magic was outlawed. He left Camelot, you know that."

"Don't lie to me; you said I could trust you. Where is he?"

Merlin sighs heavily.

"Ealdor."

"Magic isn't outlawed in Ealdor, is it?"

"It's no longer one of the lands of Camelot. Magic reigns in Ealdor." Merlin replies.

"Thank you, Merlin. You've done the right thing."

It didn't feel right, Merlin thought to himself.

"I have to go see Ofarthur now." He nods and leaves Caroline's chambers. He wasn't sure what he was going to tell Guinevere and he wasn't sure if he'd be able to tell her. He just knew he had to tell her. He had to be there for his friends when it seemed like everything was falling apart.

* * *

><p>"Heard you're getting rid of your surrogate." Gwaine says to Arthur.<p>

"News travels fast." Arthur's voice is cold. He takes a sip of ale as he stares into space.

"Well, this is Camelot." Gwaine laughs to himself. He stares at his friend.

"How do you intend to get an heir?"

Arthur shrugs.

"Do you even care?"

"I don't know Gwaine, should I care?"

"Yes." Gwaine grows worried of his friend. "You should care, Arthur. Why are you getting rid of her?"

"She's infertile."

"How are so sure?"

"It's been 3 months. No baby. It doesn't take a genius to work it out."

Gwaine nods.

"Drink up, Arthur. I know how to take your mind of this." Gwaine smiles suggestively. He was going to take Arthur to a brothel.

* * *

><p>"He's getting rid of me?" The tears in Guinevere's eyes grow before rolling down her face. She stares at Merlin, unable to believe him. Not wanting to believe him. "He said he loved me." She cries at the point. Loud. Like a baby. Like a young child, filled with fear, confusion, a range of emotions eating her up. She felt so empty.<p>

"How could he?" She asks, the tears still falling. "Merlin, how could he?"

"I don't know." Was all Merlin could offer. "I don't know, Gwen. I don't know how he could be so cruel and heartless and evil and cold. He's not worthy of you, Guinevere. He doesn't love you. He's a liar." Merlin was angry. Seeing Guinevere like this made him angry in a way he couldn't describe. He just wanted to hurt Arthur, hurt him with the same intensity Guinevere was hurting right now.

"I feel so cheap, Merlin."

Merlin stares at her.

"Do you think less of me?" She asks.

He walks over to her, moving a stray her away from her face, wiping her tears with his hand, cradling her, her face resting on his chest as he strokes her soft curls.

"I don't think less of you, Guinevere. I think more of you. I have never been more proud of you than I am now. You have been through hell and back these past few months and I haven't even helped, I've been nothing but a nuisance, making you feel even worse, making stupid decisions. I am so sorry, Guinevere."

Guinevere doesn't say anything. She just buries herself further into Merlin's chest. Sometimes she felt Merlin was the only person in the world who truly cared about her. She was feeling that now.

"I love you, Merlin." She says, her voice muffled. Merlin smiles to himself.

"I love you too, Guinevere." He pulls her away from him, his hands now on her shoulders, his face scanning hers. "Come, let's pack your stuff."

She nods.

"You get your house back. Maybe we can pretend this whole thing never happened." He smiles at her.

"Do you think I'll ever stop loving him?" Guinevere asks, unable to get Arthur out of her mind.

"Yes." Merlin pauses. "You have to stop loving him, Guinevere. Because he doesn't love you." Merlin's voice turns cold. "You don't do this to someone you love."

"You think love is that simple?"

Merlin nods.

"I think love is the simplest thing. You don't hurt the ones you love. You don't cause them great pain. You don't ruin their lives. You don't, Guinevere. And Arthur has done that to you. He's done all the things you don't do to the ones you love. I thought he loved you, Guinevere. I really did. But he doesn't. You're better off without him."

Guinevere stares deeply into Merlin's eyes. Was he right? Did Arthur never really love her? Was it just an illusion? The intensity of the situation. She didn't know. He couldn't even tell her himself. He couldn't even look her in the eye tell her he wanted her to leave himself.

Why?

* * *

><p>"It would hurt too much."<p>

"What?" Arthur replies.

"Arthur, if you don't come with me to this brothel, I don't know how I would cope." Gwaine was drunk. So was Arthur.

"I love her Gwaine." Arthur says, his voice soft and filled with hurt.

"Who? Caroline? Of course you do. She's your wife." Gwaine laughs.

"No, not Caroline. I love Ofarthur, Guinevere. I love her so much and here I am, I'm here, and she's there, she's leaving me. She's leaving me because I asked her to when all I really want is for her to stay. I love her, Gwaine."

Gwaine laughs again.

"Then you have a funny way of showing love, my dear friend." He slurs, before being sick all over the doorstep of the brothel.

"She's gone." Arthur mutters. He turns to stare at Gwaine as he continues to spill out his lunch everywhere.

* * *

><p>"Gaius." Caroline is staring at Uncle Gaius, an old man lying on his death bed. He looks unhappy to see her.<p>

"What do you want?"

"Your help." She replies.

"How on earth could I help you?"

"You're going to make me fertile, Gaius. And I really don't care how you do it."

Gaius laughs.

"I am hardly in a fit position to perform such strong dark magic, and even if I was, I don't have the capability to make you fertile." He laughs again. "Anyway, from what I hear, Camelot is still a kingdom of anti-magic values and infertility. You seem to be contradicting its entire core values in one go, Caroline. You're meant to be their queen." He smirks at her. A dry fit of cough escape his lips shortly after.

"If you can't do it, Gaius, then who can?"

"Morgana."

Caroline narrows her eyes.

"I thought she was just a myth."

"That's what they say." Gaius laughs again.

"What? So you haven't met her?"

He shakes his head.

"They say those who meet her never return."

"Your horror stories don't affect me in the slightest, Gaius. You're nothing but a sad dying old man. It takes a lot more than that to wind me up, believe me."

"You've changed a lot since I last saw you. Not the shy, innocent little girl anymore."

"We've all changed. You have to. Change or fail to adapt and die. Take your pick."

Gaius nods.

"If you want a working womb, you visit the high priestess, Morgana. I don't know if she exists, Caroline. No one does. Just like no one knows if the spell she put on Camelot is really there of it's just a figment of our darkest imagination. Does she really have eyes watching your every move, Caroline? Or is that just a myth? I don't know. I just say what I hear. I don't know where you can find her, but she's the only one that could possibly help you."

Caroline stares at Gaius.

As far as she knew, Morgana being the witch who cast the spell on Camelot was just a myth. Children's horror stories. And even if she was real, could she face her? Could she face the witch with a power so strong, she was able to cause the fall of Camelot? Would Morgana even look favourably upon her?

She had no other choice, she had to find Morgana, and she had to keep her husband. She had to become fertile. By all means.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I didn't really like this chapter but it was needed to move the story on! Let me know what you think. I appreciate all feedback. Once again, apologies for the late update! Also, sorry it's a bit short. I'm extremely busy and don't have much time to write. <strong>


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: HELLO! Sorry the long wait. University applications was my life for a long while, but I'm back. This chapter is quite long, for me anyway, and A LOT happens in it. I think there might be conflicting views with this one and I would love to hear what you think? Question: Do **_**you**_** think Morgana is real? Enjoy! Review and share. Also, thanks for your continued feedback! :D**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 13: Desire.<strong>

Arthur was craving Guinevere. Guinevere was craving Arthur. Caroline wanted a child, Merlin just wanted peace, but it seemed as though none of them would be getting what they wanted. It had been a fortnight since Arthur threw Guinevere out, Caroline went to visit Gaius, and Lancelot had decided that he would pursue Guinevere and make her his at all cost. There was nothing stopping him now. She wasn't his to guard any more, they didn't have to worry about being professional anymore. She might finally see him as a man, someone she could actually grow to love. Lancelot was still unsure as to where his feelings for Guinevere stemmed from, why they were so strong, why he couldn't keep away from her, why she was constantly continuously on his mind. He just wanted her. More than he'd wanted anyone in his life. More than he ever thought he could want someone. He wanted her almost as much as Arthur did. Almost.

Arthur couldn't sleep. The thought of Guinevere constantly on his mind. He knew he missed her. He wasn't sure if he was just being a red blooded male, if it was just her body he missed, kissing her, holding her, touching her. He could touch anyone he wanted. He could touch his wife, but he didn't want to, he wanted Guinevere. Ofarthur. She was his once. He knew he was wrong for feeling like this. It was all his fault, he had no right to be sad, he had no right to feel sorry for himself. He'd brought the whole thing on himself.

Merlin wasn't talking to him, it wasn't so much that he'd missed their empty conversations, just that he knew Merlin had a valid reason for not speaking to him so he could hardly take the moral high ground and force his servant into speaking to him. Caroline seemed happier. Of course she would be, the surrogate was gone. The problem of finding an heir was still over their heads though, people were talking again. Caroline, strangely, didn't seem to care.

"I'll be gone for a few days." Caroline turns over on her side, Arthur and her had made love for the first time, properly, in a while. She couldn't wipe the smile on her face. Her husband turns to face her, he shakes off his thoughts about Guinevere and forces a smile back.

"How comes?"

"I need to get some silk."

Arthur is bemused.

"Go the market?"

"Arthur, if it was silk that I could easily get from the market, you know I would. I just need to get these specific rare ones from Elfwoods."

"Get someone else to get it. You're not using your queen privileges very well here, Caroline." Arthur face takes a genuine smile.

"I don't think I could trust anyone with silk this good. I need to get it myself. I'll be back before you know it." She kisses Arthur's cheek before sliding off the bed. Arthur watches her go. Caroline was beautiful and sometimes he'd remember why he used to love her so much, but he'd never be able to stop his mind from wandering off to thoughts of Guinevere. It was wrong. He knew it. But he couldn't stop himself.

Caroline of course wasn't going to buy silk, she was going to try and find out where she could find Morgana from a notorious Sorceress based in Elfwoods. Soon, her and Arthur would have an heir. She was convinced.

* * *

><p>A knock on Guinevere's door. She'd enjoyed her last few weeks at back home, her only visitor being Merlin, she expected the person at the door to be him. It wasn't.<p>

It was Lancelot. Guinevere is taken aback. She wasn't really sure she'd ever see him again.

"Lancelot?"

He smiles. He's dressed out of uniform in his normal clothes, looking rather handsome.

"Can I come in?"

Guinevere nods, pointing to a seat opposite the fireplace. Lancelot sits, waiting patiently for Guinevere to lock the door and take the seat next to him.

"At the risk of sounding rude, Lancelot. Why are you here?"

"I came to see if you were okay. See how you were coping."

Guinevere smiles.

"Are you hungry?" She asks before making her way towards the chicken.

"If you're offering, I guess I am."

Lancelot follows on behind Guinevere. She picks up a bowl of vegetables and begins cutting. Lancelot offers a hand and they both continue cutting in a comfortable silence.

* * *

><p>"Merlin do you know where Guinevere is staying?" Arthur tries to keep his tone disinterested. Merlin doesn't answer as he continues making the king's bed.<p>

"Merlin, I know you're upset, and frankly, I accept that you have a right to be. What I did was cruel, but it had to be done."

"Then why are on earth do you need to know where she's staying? You don't need to have anything to do with her. She's better off without you." Merlin's voice is cold.

"Watch your tongue. Any other king would have you killed for speaking the way you just did." Arthur's voice is even colder.

"Any other king would no better than to get attached to a surrogate, make her fall in love with him, lead her on, use her and rinse her dry, kick her out, and then have the audacity to ask where she's staying." Merlin says slowly but confidently.

Arthur stares stunned at his servant.

"Merlin, I don't want to have to kill you."

Merlin laughs.

"You don't even have it in you, you're spineless. You can't bear children, you can't tell your wife you don't love her, you couldn't even detach yourself from the act with a surrogate. Arthur, I'm not scared of you. I never was, never will be. You're still the same spineless prince you always were, always making excuses. Silently disagreeing with your father and never saying anything. You're weak, Arthur. You couldn't kill me if you wanted to."

"Get out." Arthur's voice is dry. The pair study each other for a moment. Merlin then makes his way out.

* * *

><p>"Lady Nyla." Caroline bows as Nyla, the notorious sorceress of Elfwoods enters a tent based in the centre of the village.<p>

"No need for bowing, you're the Queen of Camelot. It's completely unwarranted." Caroline studies Nyla. She was far younger than she'd expected her to be. Nyla was short, long curly black hair, dark skinned, a little darker than Guinevere, big brown eyes. She was very beautiful. She reminded Caroline of Ofarthur, this irritated her a little. It felt like someone was mocking her.

"I insist." Caroline bows again before taking a seat.

"How may I be of use to you? I know magic is outlawed in your lands, and surely you have bigger problems, such as the infertility plague currently reigning in your kingdom. To what do I owe this very rare pleasure?" There is an element of sarcasm in Nyla's voice. She wasn't the least bit pleased to see Caroline. Caroline was aware of this.

"I know you have a dislike for Camelot, and my husband, and frankly, I know it's a little insulting for me to be here." Caroline pauses. Nyla shows no emotion. "But I need your help. You're the only person that can help me. I've heard about your work. You're talked about often in Camelot, I know how powerful you are."

Nyla smirks.

"You want me to help you be fertile." Nyla scoffs. "I don't have that power."

"I know." Caroline pauses. "But the High Priestess Morgana does."

Nyla laughs loudly.

"You think she'd help the likes of you? You're deluded. Or insane. Take your pick."

"Forgive me, Nyla, but I am neither. I know I can persuade her to help me."

"Definitely deluded." Nyla continues laughing. "There is no way Morgana would help you. She would probably kill you upon first sight, that's if you even survive the journey there. You'd be wise to accept your fate, you are barren. Morgana has made you barren for a reason. You're probably a spineless little woman with, evidently, a huge amount of self importance. Believe me when I say, you are chasing a hopeless dream. You will never bear a child."

Caroline grows angry.

"How old are you?"

"I have been in this life for twenty-six years, I don't see how this is relevant." Nyla replies.

"You wouldn't. Age is not important to you. You don't have to worry about bearing a child. It is of no importance to you- "

"-Please, save yourself the embarrassment. Speeches don't work with me. I have no sympathy for you and I never will. However, if you're so hell bent on walking straight into your own demise. I'll tell you where you can find Morgana. She is located in Allans Cave, north of here, to the far east of Camelot. It is a perilous journey, one I wouldn't recommend to any sane human being."

"Thanks for your help." Caroline nods and begins making her way out of the tent.

"See in you in the next life." Nyla calls out after her. Caroline is unnerved.

* * *

><p>"This food is wonderful." Lancelot finishes the last drops of his soup. Guinevere smiles.<p>

"I'm glad you like it." She pauses. "Lancelot, why are you really here?"

"I missed you." He replies, his brown eyes penetrating hers.

Guinevere doesn't know what to say.

"You look healthier now, rested." Lancelot continues.

"Well, I'm finally sleeping." Guinevere pauses. "I barely slept when I working as surrogate."

Lancelot nods.

"I can imagine. It's not the easiest job to do." He smiles before studying her, she really was beautiful. "Guinevere?"

"Yes?"

"Guinevere, I just wanted to say that... if you need help, or if you ever feel alone, I will be there for you. Always." That isn't what he wanted to say, not really.

Guinevere smiles warmly at him.

"That's very kind of you, Lancelot. You've become a good friend to me these past few days. I really appreciate you."

She appreciated him. That counted for something, didn't it? Appreciation could develop into love. Guinevere could love him. He hoped she could love him. Of course, even if she didn't, he would always be there for her, but he couldn't help but need her to want him in the way he wanted her. Was that so wrong?

* * *

><p>"You're back early. I thought it would take a couple of days for the silk to be ready?" Arthur was having dinner and was surprised to see Caroline walk in.<p>

"They didn't have the one I wanted." She lies, taking a seat next to Arthur. She stares at him as he continues eating his dinner oblivious. "Arthur, I've been thinking."

"What have you been thinking about?"

"An heir. Us bearing children."

Arthur drops his fork at this point, wipes his mouth and stares intently at his wife.

"What about it?" He replies, a little suspicious.

"Arthur, what do you suppose we do about it? We can't not have an heir, we'll be a laughing stock."

"Well, we tried getting a surrogate. That didn't work. Frankly, I'm out of ideas. I say we pick an honorary heir and be done with it." Arthur replies bluntly. Caroline is displeased.

"And you'd be happy with your bloodline ending so abruptly?"

"I'm not happy about it, please don't suggest that I am. But we can't bear children. The concept of a surrogate is something you clearly can't deal with. We're out of ideas. Can you suggest anything else?" Arthur grows a little angry.

"Arthur, do you believe the curse is real?" Caroline asks reluctantly.

"Of course I do. Why do you think magic is still banned? If there's one thing my father was right about, it's that. The majority of women being barren in one kingdom _isn't_ natural."

"But you don't support the surrogacy scheme?"

"You know I don't Caroline, but how else can we efficiently ensure that children are born and families are made? I hate the concept of a surrogate, you know I do. I always have. But... I'm the king, and that involves making... tough decisions." Arthur was thinking about Guinevere at this point.

"I understand, Arthur. I just wish there was another way." Caroline presses her hand affectionately on Arthur's. He flinches before clearing his throat. Caroline is hurt.

"I, er, I have to go. I promised Sir Gwaine I'd visit him." Arthur leaves in a hurry, avoiding his wife's gaze.

* * *

><p>Lancelot and Guinevere were walking through the deserted market. It was evening time and Lancelot had suggested that they have a look at the stars, Guinevere thought it was a lovely idea. The night sky was lovely, and she felt with Lancelot next to her, she'd at least be safe. He'd been doing a great job of helping her take her mind of Arthur, he'd also stopped her feeling lonely. She turns to stare at him, he's staring at her also. Lancelot blushes. Their hands brush past each other, and he blushes even more. Guinevere giggles.<p>

"What's so funny?"

"You, you've gone bright red. Why are you so nervous?" The pair stop in their tracks, facing each other. Guinevere is smiling up at Lancelot. He feels like he can't breathe.

"I don't know, Guinevere." He smiles back.

"You really are strange." Guinevere laughs to herself. Lancelot can't take his eyes off her.

"You're so beautiful." He whispers softly. Their eyes lock, they share an intense gaze before Lancelot's eyes drop to her lips. He wanted to kiss her. He raises his hand softly on her face, placing a stray strand of hair away from her face. Leaning in, he places a soft tender kiss on Guinevere's lips. She lets him and the kiss turns passionate. Lancelot's hands drop to her waist and he slowly begins kissing her neck, tasting her, breathing in her scent, he could hardly believe this was happening. She was finally his, he would fi- Guinevere abruptly pulls away from him, breathless, her face filled with regret.

"Sorry, Lancelot, I can't do this. I'm sorry." She stares at him. Lancelot is confused.

"What?"

"This was nice, you're nice. But… I just can't. I feel like we're rushing. I'm not ready for this. I'm still…" Guinevere doesn't know how to articulate thoughts.

"You're still not over being a surrogate? I am so stupid." Lancelot hits his head.

"No, you're not. You're sweet, and lovely. I'm just… not at the right place for this." Guinevere smiles at him. Lancelot wasn't the problem. He wasn't. She just felt like she would be using him as a means to get over Arthur. He didn't deserve that. She didn't love Lancelot. Not in the way she loves-_loved_ Arthur. It felt wrong.

"Should I walk you home?" Lancelot asks, his voice soft.

"It's fine. I think I'll walk for a bit longer. Need to clear my head."

"Are you sure you'll be fine on your own?"

"I'm sure. I know my way around these streets with my eyes closed. I'll be fine. Thanks again, Lancelot. For understanding." The pair regard each other briefly before walking opposite ways.

* * *

><p>"Merlin!"<p>

"Yes, My Lady?" Merlin turns around to face Caroline. The last thing he wanted to do was speak to her.

"Merlin, do you think I'm being stupid?"

Merlin doesn't say anything.

"Merlin, answer me, please. You're the only one I can talk to about this."

"No. I don't."

"Really? You don't think I'm being irrational? I mean, magic is outlawed. If Arthur ever found out..."

"If Arthur found out, he'd understand your reasons. You're his wife. You're doing this for the both you." Merlin says want the queen wants to hear.

"Do you think Morgana is real? You have magic; you must have heard stories about her when you were a boy."

Merlin smiles.

"When I was a boy, I believed everything I was told. We all did."

"But do you believe in her now?"

"I'm a cynic, Caroline. You know that. I've always been a cynic." Merlin laughs nervously.

"Gaius believes in her, Merlin. I know you believe she's there."

"Look, I don't believe she's the priestess that cast the initial spell over Camelot. From what Gaius told me, she's relatively young, around our age. It isn't possible that she started all this. However, the dark secrets of the old religion were passed to her, and she was allocated the job of ensuring a large number of women in Camelot remain infertile. I don't know how she does it. I don't know if she really has Eyes watching us, frankly, I'd like to think she doesn't. But Caroline… I wouldn't advise approaching her. From what Gaius tells me, she's not one to negotiate or listen to reason. She's cold, heartless and has a strong hatred of Camelot and all its subjects."

"Why does she make certain women infertile? What did I do wrong?"

"I don't know." Merlin pauses. "People speculate as to what criteria she uses to decide what womb she steals, but it's just that, speculation. I'm more inclined to believe that it's completely random. The Caroline _I_ knew did nothing to deserve this." Merlin meant every word. The Caroline he knew didn't deserve this

"And what would I have done to deserve this?" Caroline stares at Merlin. "If we follow speculation."

Merlin sighs.

"People say that if you show a blind love for Camelot, she steals your womb. You haven't done that."

Caroline laughs bitterly.

"Really? You don't think so? I _am_ married to the king. Don't you think that's showing a blind love for Camelot?"

"What are you suggesting , Caroline, that you leave Arthur?"

"No, of course not. I just need her to have mercy on me, Merlin. I need her to give me my womb back. I need an heir, I need Arthur to love me again. Otherwise, what's the point in anything?"

* * *

><p>Guinevere was at the bridge just overlooking the boarder of Camelot. Her mind filled with thoughts of Lancelot, Arthur… mostly Arthur. She hated herself for loving him so much, for being unable to get him out of her mind. He had used her, he threw her out. He didn't have the decency to tell her himself. He didn't even bother to say goodbye. He couldn't even look her in the eye and tell her he was sorry and yet, yet she still loved him. Yet she still missed him. How stupid was she? Any self-respecting female would be over him, would move on, get on with her life, but she couldn't. She loved him, and she hated it. She hoped with all her heart that he still loved her too. She was being a stupid little girl and she knew it, but that's all she longed for. For Arthur. For her king.<p>

"Guinevere."

That wasn't his voice. It couldn't be. She was imagining it.

"Guinevere." Arthur's voice is reluctant. Was she ignoring him?

Guinevere turns around, her heart racing, her eyes locked on Arthurs. He smiles softly and she feels herself unable to control her anger. How dare he smile at her like nothing was wrong? Like he didn't completely break her heart? Like he didn't make her feel completely worthless? How dare he? Her anger building, she raises her hand, slapping him hard round the face. Arthur is taking aback. He slowly turns his head to face her. His left cheek now bruised.

"Guinevere." He smiles even more this time. Her eyes begin to fill with tears. "Don't cry." He raises his hand softly to touch her. She flinches. He's hurt.

"I am so sorry." He lets out. She scoffs.

"I know you won't believe me, but I am. I am so sorry. I love you so much."

"You have a funny way of showing it." Guinevere stares up at him, a single tear rolling down her face.

"I know. But that doesn't mean I love you any less. I've missed you every day, every minute, every second."

Guinevere doesn't know what to say.

"How have you been?"

"I kissed Lancelot." She blurts out. She wanted to make him jealous. Hurt him. It worked. Arthur's face falls.

"Right. So you're with _him_ now?" He's unable to hide his anger. "You move on fast, I applaud you, Guinevere. That takes skill."

"What, so you care? You care that I'm with other men. Did you think I'd just wait around for the man who threw me out? Who couldn't even face me and yet claims he loves me? Am I that pathetic?"

"Well, are you with him or not?"

"No."

"Have you…" Arthur pauses. "Have you bedded him?"

"Why do you care?"

"Because the thought makes me sick." Arthur snaps back.

"Why? You don't want me anymore." Guinevere persists.

"You have no idea how much I want you."

She stares at him.

"And Caroline?"

Arthur frowns.

"She's my wife."

"I can't do this. I can't be your mistress."

"Why not? You're not my surrogate anymore."

"Why can't you just leave her?"

"I can't do that. I can't leave my wife for my once surrogate." Arthur's frustration grows. "I wish I could, but I can't. It's against the law to marry surrogates. I can't break my own laws."

"Change them." Guinevere moves closer.

"I can't do that either, you know I can't. I couldn't even do that you. You'd be hated. I don't want that for you."

"You'd much rather just have me as your dirty mistress." Guinevere looks down. Arthur places his hand on her cheek. She leans into it, her eyes staring intently into his. He smiles.

"You know you're much more than to me." He caresses her cheek with his thumb. "So much more." Leaning in, he kisses her, softly and briefly. Guinevere moves in and returns the kiss, her arms wrap around his neck and the kiss turns passionate, filled with lust, yearning, and desire.

"I have to go." Arthur breaks the kiss, his voice breathless. Guinevere can't hide her hurt.

"I'll try and see you tomorrow. Where can I see you?"

Guinevere whispers a place softly into his ear; Arthur closes his eyes as her warm breath tickles his skin. He kisses her softly again before walking off. He doesn't look back.

It would hurt too much.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading. (I know the grammar was a bit dodgy this chapter. Sorry, It was a rushed job)<strong>


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: Yoo. Long time no see. Not going to say much, just A LOT happens in this chapter, hope it's not too difficult to follow. Enjoy! Please review and comment and share, the more reviews a writer gets the more they feel people enjoy their story and the quicker they update! ;D Thanks for waiting, sorry for the wait, and thanks for your continued support. x**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 14: Flashbacks<strong>

"I'm pregnant."

"What?" Arthur's face falls. His voice dry, his heart racing. _What?_ That wasn't the reaction Caroline was expecting. In fact, it was the last reaction she was expecting. Arthur should be pleased. She did this all for him. Why wasn't he beaming? Why wasn't he hugging her? Why wasn't he eager to hold her? Her and his baby. She'd done this all for him? Why wasn't he happy?

"Aren't you happy?" Caroline moves closer, the sadness in her voice evident.

"Yes… of course I am, yes." Arthur pauses, still in shock. How? "How? I mean, you're barren. That's what they said. That's what everyone said. We can't have children, Caroline. How?" Arthur stares at his wife, his eyes eager.

"We made love a while back, Arthur, remember? Maybe something finally went right." She moves closer to her husband again. "Anyway, does it matter? I'm pregnant. We have an heir. Does it matter how it happened? Shouldn't we just be thankful?" The tears in Caroline's eyes begin to build. Arthur is racked with guilt. He moves closer to her, bringing her body to his, embracing her. She buries her face into his chest and he kisses the crown of her head.

"I'm happy, Caroline." Arthur wasn't lying. "I am. I'm just… shocked." He sighs. "This doesn't feel real." His thoughts wander… he begins to think about Guinevere. How was he going to tell her this?

* * *

><p><em>One Week Earlier.<em>

A knock on Guinevere's door. She opens it to reveal the king. He greets her with a passionate kiss. Guinevere is taken aback and quickly pushes him away.

"Arthur!" She whispers, giggling. He stares deeply into her eyes.

"What?" He replies innocently, placing a trail of kisses from her neck down to her chest. Guinevere giggles again and pushes him once more.

"Arthur, I'm expecting someone."

His hand still firmly round her waist, the king pouts.

"Who could be more important than me?"

"Well, sire, I am trying to make a living."

Arthur frowns.

"You work?"

Guinevere is unimpressed.

"You know so little about me!" She hits his shoulder playfully. He smiles softly.

"In my defense, Guinevere, when you were my surrogate, I didn't really have time for small talk."

Guinevere's jaw drops dramatically. She hits him playfully again.

"Asking about my day to day life is hardly small talk, Arthur."

He sighs, smiling at her, he begins kissing her again but Guinevere doesn't allow it.

"You won't get any kisses until you at least pretend to be interested in what I do."

Guinevere and Arthur had been sneaking around like this for two weeks. The guilt wasn't eating them up yet.

"Fine, Guinevere, what do you do for a living?"

"Well, Arthur, my father was a blacksmith and I'm going to carry on his legacy."

Arthur laughs.

"You're father wasn't the legendary Thomas, was he?"

Guinevere nods.

"And you think you're able to live up to his legacy? My father loved Tom's work."

"Arthur, I'm a little insulted. I learned everything I know first-hand from him. I hope you're not suggesting that because I'm female I'm incapable of carrying on a man's legacy."

Arthur shakes his head before placing his hand on his heart.

"I am suggesting no such thing, Guinevere." He stares intently into her eyes, his gaze drops to her lips and he kisses her again. This time, Guinevere returns the kiss. His hands reach up and down her back as he begins undressing her, leading her towards the bed. They're unable to stop themselves. Their passion growing, their want increasing. Arthur begins kissing her neck again, absorbing her scent, his pale hands exploring her caramel sk-

A knock on the door.

Guinevere immediately returns to her senses. She pulls the king away from her.

"That must be Sefa."

"Sefa?" Arthur is bemused.

"My customer. She wants me to make a sword for her brother. He's going to the knights' auditions, actually." Guinevere hurriedly readjusts her dress and appearance. "Arthur, leave through the back. Sefa can't see you here."

"Her brother wants to be a knight?" Arthur frowns, placing his gloves back on. "Are they of noble blood?"

Guinevere frowns at him.

"Does it matter?"

"Well, you know the rules, Guinevere-"

"Guinevere!" Sefa's voice calls as she knocks again. "Guinevere, are you there?"

"Arthur, you really have to go." Guinevere hurriedly pushes Arthur into the back room, closing the door behind her. She takes a deep breath and opens the door to a slightly nervous Sefa.

* * *

><p>"Merlin!"<p>

Caroline. She was making a habit of these talks and it was beginning to irk Merlin. He really wanted nothing to do with her plan.

"Caroline." He'd taken to calling her Caroline again. She didn't seem to mind. In fact, Merlin thought she appreciated it.

"Merlin, I've decided that I'm going to see her."

"See who?"

"Morgana. I'm going to see her, and I'm going to beg her to give me my womb back." She stares at Merlin. He shows no emotion.

"You've clearly made up your mind about this. What do you need me for?" He replies bluntly.

"Merlin, I need you to accompany me." She continues, almost reluctantly.

Merlin frowns.

"What use would I be? I'm no good with a sword and there are many guards who would gladly look after you without breathing a word of the journey."

"I know, Merlin. I know that. But I want you."

"Caroline, with all due respect, why? What would Arthur say?"

"I doubt he'll notice you're gone. He's hardly had any use for you as of late. He doesn't even care what _I_ do anymore. He's always… busy." Caroline stares at Merlin. He stares back.

"You want me to use my magic, don't you?" He pauses. "You know this journey will be perilous and you know without a sorcerer you won't survive. You want me to break the most sacred code of Camelot."

"I'm the queen, Merlin. I'm only asking to be polite. You have no say in the matter." Caroline's voice turns cold. "You will accompany me. And if you need to use your magic to ensure that we return back safely, you will do so." She adds.

"When do we leave?"

"At sundown."

"How long will this take?"

"Three days. A day and a half to get there, a day and a half to get back."

Merlin nods.

"What will you tell Arthur?"

"I'm visiting a friend in Ealdor and you're visiting your mother. He won't bother questioning us. Trust me."

Merlin stares at the queen, wondering where his old friend had gone. She had to be in there somewhere.

* * *

><p><em>Nine Years Earlier<em>

"Why. Don't. You. Just. Tell. Her?" Gwaine says, hitting Arthur on the head in between each word. Merlin laughs.

"Ow!" Arthur frowns at his friends. "I'm waiting for the right moment."

It was Arthur's eighteenth birthday and the king had thrown a ball for his son. Arthur and his friends were observing Caroline and her friends. Arthur was especially observing Caroline, and his friends knew it.

"What right moment? If you don't tell her, Leon will get to her first." Merlin replies. Arthur scoffs.

"Leon?" He scoffs again. "Leon is hardly her type."

"I don't know, Arthur. I heard she likes tall men." Gwaine teases. Arthur 's face fills with worry.

"I'm tall."

"Not as tall as Leon." Merlin smiles at his friend. "Look, Arthur. You're the prince of Camelot. You can have any girl you want. Caroline is beautiful, and she's funny, and she's our friend. You really have nothing to lose."

Arthur stares at his friend.

"You really think I have nothing to lose?" Arthur pauses. "What if she doesn't like me back? What if she really does like tall men?"

"You're hardly a midget, Arthur. Anyway, if you she doesn't like you. You move on, instead of spending your coming of age birthday staring at her from afar like a complete and utter-"

"-Gwaine."

"Look, Arthur. Just go talk to her."

Arthur did eventually tell Caroline how he felt. They were married five years later.

* * *

><p>"I thought I told you to leave." Gwen returns to face a now smirking Arthur.<p>

"I think you seem to be forgetting that I'm the king and I don't take orders from anyone." He replies, smugly.

Guinevere rolls her eyes at Arthur. He smiles at her before patting the space next to him on Guinevere's bed, gesturing for her to take a seat. Guinevere smiles and does so, resting her head on the king's shoulder. They sit there in silence for a while, Arthur interlocking his hands with hers and Guinevere adjusting her head into a more comfortable position.

"I'll let Sefa's brother be a knight."

Guinevere looks up at Arthur in shock.

"Really?

"Yes, just for you. If it'll make you happy."

Guinevere smiles.

"Arthur, you don't have to do it for me. Let him be a knight, if he would make a worthy one, not just because I say so."

Arthur smirks at Guinevere.

"Of course, Guinevere." He dips his head; the pair share a soft kiss.

* * *

><p>Caroline didn't speak to Merlin about her conversation with Morgana. To be honest, Merlin didn't really care to ask, he didn't really want to know. He was just glad Caroline came out alive and in one piece. The journey back to Camelot was quiet. If it had gone well, Caroline was giving nothing away to Merlin. Her face was completely devoid of any emotion, almost like she was dead inside. Merlin couldn't help but feel pity for the queen, his once friend, he couldn't help but resent her and Arthur for what they'd become. Living in Camelot was hard and everyone changed of course, but he could barely recognise the woman Caroline now was. It was like he'd lost all his friends and never really got a chance to mourn.<p>

_7 years earlier._

"When do you think Arthur will propose to me?" Caroline asks, chewing a grape. Her and Merlin were sitting by pond, enjoying spring and each other's company. Merlin shrugs at Caroline's question as he takes another bite of his apple.

"What's that shrug supposed to mean?"

"It means, Caroline, that I don't know." He playfully throws a berry at her. Caroline ducks, the berry narrowly missing her as she giggles at Merlin, the servant of the man she loved, and also one of her best friends.

"You're his servant, he must tell you things." Caroline persists, throwing a berry back.

"He does." Merlin says, smiling to himself. "He also tells me things in confidence." He smirks at her.

"What? So you're just not going to tell me?"

"You're finally catching on, Caroline." They both laugh loudly, their laughter only being interrupted by the arrival of Arthur and Gwaine. Arthur his holding a picnic basket whilst Gwaine is equipped with a large bottle of ale. Caroline smiles in delight, mostly because of Arthur's arrival, but partly for the ale.

"You got the ale!" Caroline squeals. Arthur and Gwaine both laugh.

"Arthur, I think you might be courting the local drunk."

Caroline frowns at Gwaine.

"I like a girl who can handle a drink." Arthur winks at Caroline before taking a seat next to her.

The four of them laugh as Arthur begins emptying out the contents in his picnic basket.

Merlin couldn't help but wish he knew how to turn back time; his magic was still very basic due to the fact that he hadn't practiced in years but all he wanted at the moment was the ability to time travel and go back to how things were. Back when everything seemed blissful.

* * *

><p><em>Present Day<em>

"I think we should announce it to the kingdom tomorrow." Caroline says to her husband, beaming, unable to hide the smile on her face. She'd finally did it. She was finally pregnant, everything would go back to normal now, she knew it. Once her pregnancy was made public knowledge, the spirit of Camelot would be renewed and it would be the beginning of a golden era, _their_ golden era. Caroline could hardly contain her excitement, Arthur, on the other hand, was still confused.

"Wow…" is all the king can manage to respond.

"Arthur, be happy, stop thinking, stop worrying and be happy, this is all we've ever wanted, all we've been praying for. Our dreams have finally come true. Just be happy. You're going to be a dad." Caroline places a kiss on her husband's cheek as she hugs him, Arthur doesn't budge.

"Caroline, this is amazing news but I just don't know how to respond to it…" His voice is soft. Caroline smiles at him.

"You're in shock, I understand, it doesn't feel real." She smiles again, Arthur smiles back. "Go take a walk, let it sink in, I'll prepare dinner, and we can celebrate after we eat." Caroline's tone is suggestive. Arthur nods, places a kiss on her cheek before heading off on his walk. She was right, time to clear his head was just what he needed, he also needed to see Guinevere. He didn't know if he was going to tell her right away, but he knew he needed to see her.

* * *

><p>Lancelot and Guinevere were cooking together, it had become almost a habit of theirs, their friendship had blossomed since their awkward kiss and Lancelot was beginning to accept that it may only ever be just that, friendship. He didn't mind so much, just as long as he got to spend time with her.<p>

"You're such a slow cutter." Guinevere teases Lancelot, he smiles at her.

"I don't want to accidentally cut my fingers like last time."

"I understand the concept of better to be safe than sorry, Lancelot, but this is becoming ridiculous." She nudges him playfully, Lancelot nudges her back. He pours the now chopped tomatoes into a bowl filled with other chopped fruits.

"Maybe we should invite Merlin the next time we do this." Guinevere suggests.

"Merlin's been pretty distant lately, he's also been running a lot of errands for the queen." Lancelot says, frowning to himself.

"Oh. The queen? Why?"

Lancelot shrugs.

"I don't know, it's probably nothing."

Their conversation is interrupted by a knock on the door. Lancelot gets it.

He's shocked to see Arthur in front of him.

"Sire."

"Lancelot." Arthur is immediately hit with jealousy, his voice turns cold. "Is Guinevere home?"

Lancelot frowns.

"Why do you need to see Guinevere?"

"Frankly, Lancelot, I don't need to explain myself to you."

"Who is it?" Guinevere calls from the back.

"It's no one- "

"It's me." Arthur calls back, interrupting Lancelot.

"Excuse me." Arthur enters past Lancelot.

"What are you doing here?" Guinevere stares at Arthur, trying to hide the fact that she was in fact happy, if not a little shocked, to see the king. His arrival had made for a very awkward situation.

"I need a word." Arthur pauses to stare at Lancelot. "In private."

Lancelot takes the hint and leaves.

"What is it?" Guinevere is somewhat alarmed. Arthur had decided that telling Guinevere straight away was probably the best thing to do. They couldn't carry on like this. Not when he was going to be a dad, not now his wife was pregnant. It suddenly felt really wrong.

"Caroline is pregnant."

"What?"

"She's pregnant, Guinevere."

Guinevere is stunned. She doesn't say anything.

"Well, say something." Arthur is impatient.

"What am I supposed to say?" Guinevere's voice beings to crack as she feels herself welling up.

"I don't know. Anything."

"Congratulations? I hope it's a boy." She replies sarcastically.

"Don't be like that."

"Be like what?!" Guinevere shouts. "Like what, Arthur? Upset? I'm not allowed to be upset that she's pregnant, that you're going to be a dad and it's got nothing to do with me?"

"Guinevere…"

"Do not 'Guinevere' me, do not. You're going to end it with me, again. Then you're going to get angry that I move on and then ask for me back and then you're going to break my heart once more. Get out, Arthur."

"Guinevere, what do you want me to do? She's pregnant. Camelot needs an heir, what am I supposed to do?"

"Nothing. That's just it, Arthur. There's nothing you can do, there's nothing any of us can do. You're going to be a dad, and I'm just going to have to accept it. You'll be happy with her and your child, you'll forget about me, I'll forget about you and this will be a distant memory." She wipes her tears. "Who knows? Maybe this is for the best, right? We were never going to last, this was never going to work. We were both chasing a hopeless dream, wanting something that we both knew would never happen, could never work. Let's forget each other."

"I can never forget you, Guinevere."

"Well try, Arthur. Try hard."

"Trying won't work, you're the love of my life. I will never forget you, that's why this hurts so much. You know that, you know you won't be able to forget this, me, us. You can't. Not even if you want to."

"So, what's your plan, sire?" She laughs. Her use of the the formal title upsets Arthur. "You cradle your son to sleep and then leave to continue a seedy affair with me? I am sick of living for you. I am sick of watching you have a life with her and my existence being purely for you."

Arthur laughs.

"You really don't get it, do you?"

"Oh, poor King Arthur, he's going to be a dad, he'll have an heir… poor poor him." Guinevere laughs hysterically now.

"Oh, shut up, Guinevere. Just shut up."

Silence takes over the room.

"I am going to be dad, and I am not at all happy about it. How do you think that makes me feel? I am having a child with a woman I don't even know, a woman I don't love and you think this makes me happy?"

"Nobody forced you to marry her. Nobody forced you to sleep with her, either, Arthur. So forgive me if I have little to no sympathy for you. Forgive me, if your petty pains aren't really top of my pity list."

"I love you, Guinevere."

"It doesn't matter. It's not enough." She stares coldly at him. "We're never going to be together."

"We might." Arthur's voice breaks, a tear rolling down his cheek. "One day, we could."

"No, it's never going to happen."

"Don't say that." Arthur moves closer to her, but she moves back.

"We're done, Arthur. I hope your son makes you very happy."

"I can't believe you're making me feel bad about this. What did you expect, Guinevere? Happy ever after?"

Guinevere laughs.

"Stupidly, yes. That's exactly what I expected and that's why it hurts so much. Get out, Arthur. Get out and don't ever come back."

"Okay." Arthur says, a bitter smile on his face. "Okay." He walks out, leaving Guinevere alone.

* * *

><p>It was strange. It really felt like this was it this time. This really felt like the end and Arthur didn't know what he would do. He felt more lost than ever before.<p>

* * *

><p><strong> AN: Sad ending! Sorry! (It's not really the end for arwen, don't worry) Review and share!<strong>


	16. Chapter 16

_**AN: Hey, not much to say, just hope you enjoy. PLEASE PLEASE review, writers are motivated to write when you review! Thanks for your continued interest and support. Enjoy!**_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 15: Moving On.<strong>

"So, what now?" Caroline turns to stare at her husband, she's in her night gown, her hands firmly on her ever bulging stomach. It had been four months since she announced her pregnancy to Arthur and the whole of Camelot. Since then, Arthur had been nothing but wonderful to her, Caroline hadn't been this happy in a long time but just as things were finally starting to look rosy for Camelot, a series of unfortunate events began to follow.

"I don't know, we already have the surrogacy scheme in place, I don't really think there's anything else I can do." Arthur is shirtless, his bare chest on show as he sighs heavily to face his wife. He hadn't thought about Guinevere in a week, it was becoming easier and easier to move on. Maybe that was the upside to all this bad news, it took his mind of Guinevere.

"I just don't understand how fertility could have gone down. I didn't think it could go any lower. People are getting desperate, Arthur." Caroline knew exactly what feeling desperate could lead a person to do.

"I know. What do you suggest I should do, Caroline? There are only so many surrogates. All the younger females we had pinned our hopes on being fertile and becoming new surrogates we've now discovered to be infertile. Families want babies, Camelot needs babies and I just don't know what else to do." Arthur places his hand on his head in frustration. Caroline walks over to her husband, she picks up his hand and places a soft tender kiss on it. He smiles warmly at her.

"We just have to be patient."

"It's never been this bad." He stares deeply into her eyes. "I can't help but feel like I'm cursed."

Caroline giggles a little.

Arthur smiles.

"Nothing ever goes easy for me."

Caroline takes his hand and places it on her stomach.

"Well, one thing is going right. You're going to be a father and Camelot is going to have an heir and we're going to be a family. That's something to look forward to."

Arthur stares at Caroline, a half smile on his face. He places a soft kiss on Caroline's lips but he can't help but remain troubled. There was just so much on his mind.

* * *

><p>"How long were you planning on keeping this a secret?" Merlin is sitting opposite Guinevere at the tavern. Guinevere ignores his penetrative gaze. "And you couldn't have chosen a more inappropriate place for you to be."<p>

Guinevere rolls her eyes.

"It's a tavern, and it's not like I'm drinking. It's freezing outside."

"Guinevere, I'm not sure if you quite understand what you've just told me.

"I do."

"You're pregnant, Guinevere. _Pregnant._"

"I know. I'm the one who told you. "

Merlin frowns.

"Then why aren't you taking this seriously?" He sips from his glass of ale.

"I am. What do you want me to do? Burst into tears and never leave my house because there's a baby in my belly?"

"I don't know, yes? It sure would be better than you handling and making weapons for a living before revealing the news to me in a tavern surrounded by ale!"

"I don't have time to be depressed, Merlin. I'm going to be a single mother, with no other source of income apart from my job as a blacksmith, so frankly, I just need to get on with things. I only told you because as I become bigger, I won't be able to do some things and I will need your help."

Merlin is flabbergasted.

"Who's the father?"

"Does it matter?"

"I think it does."

Guinevere is silent.

"It's Arthur's, isn't it? Or Lancelot."

"Lancelot hasn't touched me." Guinevere snaps.

"Then it's the king's." Merlin laughs. "You're having a baby by the King." Merlin laughs louder.

"It's not funny." Guinevere's voice is cold. She hated hearing Arthur's name.

"You timing is impeccable, I must say."

"You can't tell him."

Merlin nods.

"I know, I'm not stupid."

"You promise?"

"I promise." Merlin smiles at his friend.

"Will you ever tell him?"

Guinevere shakes her head.

"How can I? I can't. He's got his own family now, I can't ruin that."

"I think you should tell him." Merlin says reluctantly.

"Why on earth would I do something so stupid?"

"So he can support you. You need money, Guinevere, you can't be working and looking after a new born baby, you know that."

Guinevere doesn't respond.

"If your child is a boy, he will be a legitimate heir to the throne, you will be entitled to so many things, Guinevere. Arthur has to know."

"Arthur won't want to know about his illegitimate child and a bastard son has no claim to a throne, you know that." There is no emotion in her voice.

"I know you hate, Arthur." Guinevere wished that was true. "I hate him too. But Guinevere, he's not evil. He would help you. You know he would."

"I can't see him again."

Merlin nods.

"Are you going to the announcement he's making today?" He asks, his voice soft.

"It's compulsory."

"You know nothing is compulsory. They won't search every house to ensure it's empty." Merlin replies.

"I know. I guess maybe a small part of me wants to see him. It's been four months, I've almost forgotten what he looks like."

"He didn't love you, Gwen." Merlin says, his voice firm. "You know that, don't you?" He just used you."

"I know."

"Well, it's your turn to use him. He owes you support for this baby."

"Arthur doesn't owe me anything." Guinevere says, she stares down at the table in front of her. "He doesn't."

* * *

><p>Arthur was staring at himself in the mirror as he put on his chainmail.<p>

"_I stand before you to propose a…" _He was practising his speech in front of the mirror. He never was much of a public speaker.

"It's going to be a big crowd." Caroline walks in wearing a regal red gown, it frames her bump perfectly, her brown hair is down to her sides framing her freckled face. She looked beautiful and she knew it.

"Yep."

Arthur's one word reply irritates Caroline. She walks behind him and places her hands around his waist before placing soft kisses on his neck. Arthur closes his eyes, groaning softly. She was calming him down a little. A little. Not a lot. Caroline continues the trail of kisses on Arthur's neck before resting her head on his shoulder. They both stare at the mirror.

"You'll be fine." She says softly.

"I want them to not worry, but how can they not worry when there's so much to worry about?" Arthur turns to face Caroline. He still didn't love her, he probably never would again, but he was really beginning to like and appreciate her company, her words of advice, and her way of calming him down.

"You'll be fine, Arthur. Trust me." She places a peck on his lips before making her way out. "See you outside."

Arthur returns to the mirror in front of him.

"_I promise that I, as your King will do whatever it takes to solve the infertility problem…"_

* * *

><p>"Front row seats." Lancelot says dryly.<p>

"Being the king's servant has its perks." Merlin replies, a goofy smile on his face.

"You call this a perk?" Lancelot quips back. Merlin rolls his eyes. Guinevere is silent, her mind elsewhere. It's freezing outside and even with the many layers she has on, she can't help but wish she didn't have this need to see the king so badly, she should hate him. She _would _hate him. If she saw him, she would hate him. He would hate her too.

"Silence, the king will speak now." A knight shouts across the podium to the large crowd in front of him. The hubbub of noise ends and all the citizens patiently await the king's appearance.

Arthur walks on to the stage, his blonde hair long, past his shoulders now and his crown firmly on his head. He squints, the sun in his eye. Taking a large gulp. He begins reading from his scroll.

The kingdom his completely quiet, all eyes on King Arthur.

Guinevere's eyes included. She stared at him, waiting for the jolt of hatred to hit her, waiting for herself to start wishing him dead, for her to want to jump on that podium and rip him to shreds… but it didn't come. All she felt was hurt, her hands instinctively move to her stomach and she feels herself welling up.

Arthur continues reading his speech, his voice monotone and lacking any real emotion, he doesn't advert his gaze from the scroll in front of him. He knew was doing badly, which is probably why he couldn't face his people. If he didn't believe what he was saying, how could they?

"_I hope you will join me, in our fight against infertility."_

He ends, his voice dry as he finally lifts his head up to face the crowd. They cheer, to his surprise. That worked? That heartless rubbish instilled spirit into them? The people begin clapping and chanting _'long live the king'_, he smiles to himself, feeling somewhat proud. His eyes scan the crowd and he notices her. The one girl not smiling, not chanting, it's Guinevere. His heart drops. Seeing her again does something to him. His stares at her and she stares back and it's like no one else is there. No one else matters. The four months they'd spent getting over each other went to nothing. All the old feelings come back and they're both back to square one and they both knew it. They wanted each other, they'd_ always_ wanted each other, they'd always want each other.

A single tear rolls down Guinevere's face and she begins clapping before joining the crowd in chanting, 'long live the king.'

Long live the king.

* * *

><p>"You were great." Caroline says as she and her husband enter their chambers, Arthur takes off his chainmail, slipping into something more comfortable, he grabs his long jacket, putting that on also.<p>

"Where are you going?"

"Just out."

He was going to see Guinevere. It was wrong. He knew it. But he had to see her.

"Where? I thought we could celebrate." Caroline is hurt.

"I gave a speech, Caroline. It's not that big of a deal."

Caroline doesn't know how to respond.

"Did I do something?"

"You could do absolutely nothing, and you could do absolutely everything right, Caroline, and I'd still need to go out."

"I'm don't understand."

"I'll be back before sundown." He places a kiss on her forehead before walking out.

* * *

><p>Merlin walks into Caroline and Arthur's chambers, startling the queen.<p>

"What do you want?"

"You know this is all because of you."

Caroline plays innocent.

"What?"

"The sudden drop in fertility."

"How is that my fault?"

"What you think Morgana was just going to grant Camelot an heir without any repercussions?"

"Watch who you're speaking to, Merlin." Caroline's voice grows cold.

"You don't even care. Crops won't grow. We can't trade… and now we have no fertile women. And you don't even care."

"Camelot has an heir." Caroline moves closer to Merlin. "I did the right thing. I know I did."

"Why don't you tell Arthur, then? Tell him how you used magic to get an heir and how the kingdom is suffering for it."

"You have a cheek, Merlin. I am your queen!" Caroline screams. "You will show me respect."

"You know, I pity you. You haven't got a clue."

"Merlin, I don't want to kill you."

"You think Arthur loves you now and everything is great." Merlin persists.

"Arthur does love me. He shows me every night." Caroline smirks. "You're just a sad, lonely servant. You've always been jealous of me and Arthur. Jealous because you'll never experience love."

"You're insane."

"No, I'm not." Caroline laughs. "This will pass, fertility will go back to normal and you will keep your mouth shut."

"Arthur will never love you again. He tolerates you. Not even that baby will change that, deep down you know it. You could end all this suffering. Just tell the truth, tell Arthur how that baby was conceived."

"Get out, Merlin." Caroline points to the door, her body shaking with anger. "Get out, now."

* * *

><p>"What are you doing here?"<p>

Guinevere isn't happy to see the king.

"I had to see you."

Guinevere stares at him.

"I'm pregnant."

She blurts out.

"What?"

Arthur doesn't process.

"You're going to be father, again. Are you getting it, Arthur?"

He smiles, placing his hand on her stomach. She removes it. Arthur is hurt.

"Go."

"No." Arthur moves closer to her.

"Please, go. Please. Just go. Leave me alone." Guinevere doesn't move as Arthur moves closer to her, his face inches away.

"We'll never be over." His eyes dart to her lips. "Never."

"Go, please." She whispers. But her body betrays her words as she stays still. Arthur moves his mouth towards her neck as he begins kissing it, softly. Guinevere lets him, he smirks to himself and he moves from her neck up to her lips, the kisses becoming more frequent.

"Please go-" Her sentence is stopped by Arthur's lips crashing on hers, she gives in, his hands wrap around her waist, his body shielding her small bump. She returns the kiss, her hands wrapped in his long hair.

"Arthur." She moans. He smiles to himself, moving to her neck again as he pushes her softly against the wall, kissing her hard.

She closes her eyes, letting herself fall into a state of euphoria. She'd missed him so much. He stops, his eyes directly in front of hers.

He places another soft kiss on her lips before edging backwards away from her.

"I'm sorry." He says softly, wiping his lips, which is now red and swollen from all the kisses. "I'm so sorry for all I've done to you. I want you, Guinevere. I'll always want you and I just ran away from my feelings, I hurt you and I hurt you and I hurt you-" He breaks down, tears flowing down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry. Please forgive me." He kneels down, his arms wrapped around her legs as he sobs against them.

Guinevere is frozen.

"Forgive me, please. I love you so much, you have to believe me. I want this baby more than I've ever wanted anything. I want you so bad." The tears don't stop falling. Guinevere drops down to Arthur's level, cupping his face with her hands. She wipes his tears and they embrace.

"I'm so sorry." Arthur continues whispering softly, his head buried in her hair. "Do you believe me?"

Guinevere nods.

"Please tell me you believe me."

"I believe you."

Arthur smiles at her response, the tears still falling from his eyes.

"Why can't I stop crying, Guinevere?"

"I don't know."

She embraces him tighter and they both stay like that for a while. Their bodies wrapped around each other as they kneel in silence on the floor. Arthur's quiet sobs being the only form of noise.


	17. Chapter 17

**_AN: Long time no update. Sorry! Enjoy! Pls let me know what you think. A longer chapter so hope you like it._**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 16: Picnic.<strong>

"You told Arthur." Merlin can't decide if he's angry or happy with his best friend.

"Yes." Guinevere replies. Merlin stares at her expecting a little more than a one word answer.

"What else do you want me to say?" Guinevere snaps.

"So you told him... and then what happened?"

"We spoke and he said he'll make sure me and the baby are looked after." She doesn't mention the kiss.

Merlin raises his eyebrows.

"That's it?"

"Yes. That's it, that's all it was."

Merlin smiles to himself.

"This is good."

Guinevere frowns.

"How is it good? There is nothing good about my life right now, I'm pregnant with the king's baby, he's going to have to somehow find a way to provide for us, I have to start thinking up a fake-story explaining this baby for when I start showing and people start talking, crops won't grow and... and... nothing is good, Merlin." Guinevere blurts out, her hand firmly on her stomach.

Merlin doesn't know what to say.

They're sitting on the grass by the lake, just before the border. Guinevere stares ahead and Merlin begins to watch her as she does so. Silence takes over.

She sighs heavily.

"Merlin, do you ever wish you could just run away-"

"Yes." Merlin interrupts.

"No, I don't mean run away and start a new life..." Guinevere pauses. "Like run away from yourself, from who you are, from your troubles. Because simply running to a different town doesn't solve anything, the problems come with you."

"Guinevere, you're not suicidal are you?"

She giggles, nudging him.

"No." She sighs. "I just sometimes wish I could have a break from being me."

Merlin nods.

"When we were younger, I always wanted to be Arthur."

Guinevere doesn't flinch at the mention of his name.

"I told myself, maybe if my magic got good enough, I could make us swap bodies, I'd spend ages thinking about it. Arthur seemed to have everything, he was good-looking, a prince, all the girls loved him, he was confident. He was Arthur and I was just Merlin."

"Merlin, I'm not talking about being a depressed youth."

Merlin laughs.

"I know it's not as trivial as that, Guinevere, but I understand what you mean, you wish you could just stop being you because being you doesn't seem all that great, it seems like nothing is going right for you."

"Nothing ever goes right for me." Guinevere is still staring ahead at the lake. "You know with Arthur, it always feels right."

Merlin rolls his eyes.

"I know you don't want to hear that, but with Arthur, I actually _like_ being me." Guinevere faces Merlin. "Have you ever felt like that about someone?"

Merlin looks away.

"No. Not yet." He replies, his voice soft.

"That's why you don't get it. I should hate Arthur, I _should _be over him, I_ should _want absolutely nothing to do with him, his words shouldn't work on me, and yet..." Guinevere begins picking at the grass. "... and yet, he's all I want. I wake up wishing that we could be together, that things were different, that I was Caroline."

Merlin laughs loudly.

"What's funny?"

"You want to be Caroline? Her? Of all people? That crazy witch!" Merlin laughs again.

"Not like that, I don't want her psychopathic tendencies." Guinevere giggles before her tone turns serious again, "I just want her position, I want to be able to swap roles her, circumstances. I wish I was Queen of Camelot and not just Guinevere, the poor blacksmith."

"You know Arthur isn't all that," Merlin takes a bite from a strawberry, "you can do better than him."

"No I can't. Even so, he's the father of my child and I don't want to do better than him."

"What about Lancelot?"

"What about him?"

"What do you feel for him?"

Guinevere lays her back flat on the grass, facing the sky.

"I honestly can't answer that question."

Merlin lays his back on the grass also.

"I'll always be here for you, Gwen." Merlin takes her hand and squeezes it.

"I know." She squeezes back.

* * *

><p>"Where were you last night?" Caroline's voice is void of any emotion. The king and his wife were having breakfast.<p>

"Just out."

"Where were you?" She persists.

"I went to see Gwaine."

"Don't lie to me."

Arthur drops his cutlery.

"Caroline, what do you want to know? I was out, I'm back now. That's all there is to it, I don't have to explain myself to you."

"I'm pregnant, Arthur." Caroline glares at him.

"I know." Arthur sighs heavily. "I know you're pregnant."

"You shouldn't be putting me under this much stress."

"I know."

"I know you're worried... about Camelot and fertility and crops, I get it." Caroline continues.

"You don't really get it, Caroline, do you? You're just a figure-head, you don't really have to worry about solving the problems Camelot are facing." Arthur snaps. He immediately regrets it. "I'm sorry. I just need a walk." He stands up, making his way out.

"You can talk to me, Arthur."

He nods, exiting the dining hall.

* * *

><p>"Sorry, I'm late." Lancelot interrupts Merlin and Guinevere's moment, holding a picnic basket in his hand. His face falls. "You could've told me you guys were bringing food, then I wouldn't have bothered making sandwiches." He takes a seat next to Guinevere, unwrapping his picnic basket.<p>

"You're really late, I have to get back to work soon." Merlin says, sitting up.

"I know, I know. I've got a job again as a guardian and you how know those commanders can be, he made me stand by as witness while he.. you know, performed the act with his surrogate." Lancelot shudders a little, "I should be used to it by now but it's just so repulsive."

"Thanks for being so sensitive, Lance." Guinevere says dryly.

Lancelot hits his head realising how stupid he was being.

"I was being insensitive, I wasn't calling the surrogate repulsive, just the whole regime. Things just seem to be getting worse so it's just making me even more frustrated." He runs his fingers through his hair, staring at the river.

Silence takes over.

Lancelot forces a smile.

"So, what have you two been talking about?"

"Just life." Merlin responds.

"I think you should know something, Lancelot." Guinevere turns to face him. Merlin raises his eyebrows, she wasn't really going to tell him, was she?

"I'm pregnant." She was.

Lancelot doesn't say anything.

Guinevere stares at him, her eyes almost begging for a response.

"Well...?" She says expectantly.

"It's the king's, isn't it?"

Guinevere nods.

"Does he know?"

"Yes, I told him yesterday." Guinevere says softly.

"So, what does this mean then? Do you get some privileges? Does Camelot have two heirs? Does the queen know? Will you go back to being his surrogate?" Lancelot says all at once.

Guinevere is flustered.

Merlin takes his cue to leave.

"Look, I have to go or I'll be late for work."

The other two don't respond, their eyes still firmly ahead. Merlin decides he probably shouldn't push it, leaving quietly.

"Well...?" Lancelot probes.

"It means that I'm pregnant with the king's baby, that's it." Guinevere says, avoiding eye contact.

"How can you be so stupid?" Lancelot grows angry.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, come on. Do you really think you can just have the king's baby and that's all there is to it, are you that stupid?"

"If you call me stupid one more time, Lancelot." Guinevere glares at him.

"You're being so naive, you think it's all going to be flowers and rainbows and Arthur will provide you money and that will be that? Can you hear yourself?"

"I didn't say it was going to be easy."

"Well, of course it isn't going to be easy!" Lancelot pauses. "If Caroline finds out about this, she'll make your life hell, she'll ruin your life. You'll be public enemy number one. Your child will be considered a bastard, taboo, yet another stain in Camelot's history and you're having picnics by the river..." Lancelot rolls his eyes.

"What do you want me to do?"

"You need to make sure that Arthur keeps to his word!"

"And how do I do that? I have no power, I am nothing, I was just his surrogate, Lancelot. I can't tell him what to do."

"You have feelings for him, don't you?"

Guinevere doesn't answer.

"You do. I know you do, I've always thought you did. What, you think he feels the same way?"

"You know nothing about my relationship with the king."

Lancelot is silent.

They both stay quiet like that as they continue watching the river ahead.

* * *

><p>Merlin was late, and lost. He hated coming to the border because he'd usually lose his way and now he was going to be late for his duties with Caroline... which was the last thing he wanted. He hated keeping her dirty secret, he hated that her selfishness was causing Camelot so much pain and he knew about it, yet he was doing nothing to stop it. He kicks a rock in frustration.<p>

"Ouch!"

Merlin stops.

"Drats, did I hit someone?"

"Who threw that rock?" Arthur calls back.

"Arthur?" Merlin says in confusion.

"Merlin? What the hell are you doing here?" Arthur appears from behind a few bushes to see his servant.

"I could ask you the same question." Arthur is unimpressed.

"I was looking for some herbs." Merlin lies.

"You know herbs don't grow here, don't you? If you want herbs get some from the market."

"Come on, the prices are so steep these days, I can't afford those." Merlin laughs nervously. "Anyway, I better be off to my duties," Arthur nods awkwardly at his servant. They both begin heading their separate ways.

"You probably shouldn't go that way!" Merlin blurts out as he suddenly remembers Guinevere and Lancelot.

"Why not?"

"Because I mean there's Poison Ivy down there, you don't want to be all itchy, do you?" He laughs nervously again.

"Thanks, Merlin, but I'll take my chances. You're acting very strange, I don't think you get enough sleep." Arthur rolls his eyes at his servant before continuing on his walk.

Merlin probably should try harder to stop him, but he decides against it. He was sick of sticking his nose in Guinevere and Arthur's over-complicated relationship. It wasn't like the king would listen to him anyway.

* * *

><p>"So what do you like about him? That fact the he's cheating on you with his wife, or the fact that he has the magical skill of getting <em>two<em> women pregnant at the same time?" Lancelot lets out, his voice cold.

"You're not courting me, Lancelot." Guinevere says bluntly.

"I know."

"So stop acting like you are, we're just friends. That's all we are."

Lancelot nods bitterly.

"So you feel absolutely nothing for me? Nothing. I'm in the exact same league as Merlin? Just your friend? Like a brother to you?" Lancelot stands up, kicking the ground in frustration.

"No..." Guinevere stands up after him. "Look, Lancelot, all this... it's irrelevant. The point is I'm pregnant and yes, the king will help me financially but what about when people start gossiping, what do I say when I start getting judgemental looks and everyone starts gossiping about me? " She stares at him, tears in her eyes.

"I don't know."

"I can't say I don't know who the father is, everyone will think I'm some kind of shameless harlot."

Lancelot stares at her.

"Let them think what they want, you're not a harlot, you and I both know that."

She smiles at his response.

"I could pretend to be the father if you like." Lancelot suggests reluctantly. Guinevere frowns, taking a step back from him.

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Lancelot, is this your sick twisted way of trying to get with me?"

"I'm insulted. Guinevere, I'm trying to help." Lancelot pleads.

"I don't need you looking after me, I'm not a weak damsel in distress."

"You said you were worried about what everyone would think if you were carrying round a fatherless baby, you know that's taboo. It was just a suggestion."

"A stupid suggestion."

"Well then forget I said any-"

"Guinevere?" Lancelot's sentence is interrupted by the arrival of Arthur. Neither of the three know what to say or do. So they just stand there.

* * *

><p>"You're late."<p>

"I'm sorry." Merlin apologises as he begins cleaning Caroline's chambers.

"I'm nearly five months into my pregnancy and my husband keeps going on walks, is that normal?" Caroline asks Merlin. He doesn't respond.

"Answer me." She demands.

"He's scared, maybe." Merlin offers.

"Scared of what? This is what he's always wanted. I've risked so much getting _this_," Caroline points frustratedly at her stomach, "for him... and he doesn't even appreciate it."

"Pretty ironic." Merlin says, dryly.

"Merlin, I know you hate me."

Merlin doesn't respond."

"I know you think I should be honest with Arthur and tell him how I got this baby."

He still doesn't reply.

"But, you and I both know full well that is never going to happen. So stop being such a sulky little child and speak to me, like you used to." Her voice raises a little.

"Arthur isn't happy about this baby because his kingdom is falling apart."

Caroline is unconvinced.

"No, that's not it."

"Well then I don't know."

"Don't lie to me, Merlin."

"Ever since that speech yesterday, he's changed. Before he was always worried, but he would speak to me. Now, now he can't even look at me." She pauses. "What happened after that speech, Merlin?"

"Maybe you should ask your husband."

"I'm asking you."

"And I'm saying I don't know. Now if you'll excuse me, _your highness_, I have to tidy the king's chambers before his return. He did sleep there last night, didn't he?" Merlin knows exactly how to hurt Caroline. He smiles coldly at her before leaving.

Caroline is unnerved. He knew something and she wasn't going to stop until she got it out of him.

* * *

><p>"Your highness." Lancelot is the first to speak. Arthur removes his gaze from Guinevere's to face him.<p>

"Lancelot." He pauses. "May I have a moment alone with Guinevere?" Arthur's voice is soft.

"You have a wife." Lancelot says. He doesn't take his eyes off Arthur.

"Excuse me?"

"You have a wife, she's pregnant... and here you are trying to have moments alone with your ex-surrogate." Lancelot grows angry.

"I don't have to answer to you." Arthur responds, smirking a little. "You're nothing but a pathetic guardian with a little crush. You don't tell me what to do."

"You're disgusting." Lancelot moves closer to the king. "I'm not scared of you, you're nothing but a spoilt little prince in a position he knows absolutely nothing about, the kingdom is falling apart and you expect me... to listen to you?" Lancelot moves right up to Arthur, his face inches away from him. "Think again, _Arthur_."

Arthur hits Lancelot hard on the face without thinking, all he knew is that he had to get him out of the way so he could speak to Guinevere.

"Lancelot!" Guinevere runs to Lancelot who is now bleeding from his bottom lip.

"Sorry, Guinevere, I had to." Arthur says, completely disinterested in Lancelot's injury.

"Arthur, go away."

"No, I think we should talk." Arthur persists.

"We've done enough talking, now go."

She begins wiping the blood off of Lancelot's face with a handkerchief, her hands shaking a little. Arthur notices.

"Why are you shaking?"

"Because you scared her." Lancelot replies.

"Really? Did I scare you?" Arthur's face falls. Guinevere doesn't respond. "I, I, the last thing I want to do is scare you."

"Arthur, please, just go." She manages to say without looking at him, her eyes still focused on the bleeding.

"What is this anyway? A secret rendezvous?" Arthur is jealous.

"You have no right to be jealous." Guinevere snaps.

"I have every right to be jealous."

"No, you don't."

Arthur laughs.

"Guinevere, you're ignoring the big elephant in the room."

"No need to be so cryptic, Arthur, Lancelot knows."

Arthur and Lancelot's eyes meet.

"You told him? Who else have you told? The lady who sells cabbages?"

"Oh, please, Arthur, just get lost."

Arthur watches the pair of them, unable to contain his feelings of jealousy and his want for Guinevere.

"Okay, I'll go." He concedes, mostly out of fear that if he stayed any longer, he would break Lancelot's nose." But we do need to talk. We need to talk about this properly."

"No, what you need to do is go back home to your pregnant wife. That's what you need to do. You need to bring this kingdom back to its golden age and you need to provide financially for my baby. You don't need to do anything else. There's nothing else we need to say, Arthur, we can't keep doing this. We can't. I don't want to keep doing this."

Guinevere struggles to hold back her tears, Lancelot doesn't know what to do.

"I'm not going to let you go. You don't tell me what I need to do. I want to talk to you, so we're going to talk. Just make sure Mr. Pathetic isn't here next time." Arthur manages to contain his emotions. He doesn't even glance at Lancelot before leaving. His mind was still a mess and he didn't know exactly what he wanted to say to Guinevere. He just knew he couldn't leave things as they were.

"You're not going to talk to him, are you?"

Guinevere doesn't answer Lancelot's question?

"Are you?" He presses.

"No," she shakes her head, "no, I'm done with him." Deep down, she knew that was a lie.

"You know what, you're right, let's tell everyone you're the father." But she had to convince herself that she wouldn't talk to him, that she wouldn't go back to him. "It was a good suggestion, you were right." Lancelot smiles at her, he's a little taken aback by her suggestion but decides not to question it. They embrace.

She had to start living her life again, she had to stop living for Arthur. She just had to. Guinevere just hoped she had it in her to resist the king.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Quite a long chapter! Took me a while to write, it's a bit patchy but I thought I'd put it out anyway, sorry for the long wait. Hope you liked it. PLEASE COMMENT AND REVIEW!<strong>


	18. Chapter 18

Hey everyone, I'm sorry for not updating in so long, I thought I owed you guys a quick update. I _will_ finish this story, I promise. I've started writing the next chapter and I hope to finish it by tomorrow and have it up by tomorrow as well. I want to finish this story by the end of the year so I will try to go back to weekly updates, it might mean shorter chapters and less of a slow burn, so more things happening quickly but I think I've dragged it out long enough. I don't know how long it will be but I will plan out the ending and write towards that goal, I won't rush it, don't worry!

I'd like to thank you all for supporting and reading this fanfiction (unless you've all left lol), I know Merlin ended nearly a year ago but it's nice to still write this fic and I do enjoy it. I love all your reviews, like they're the reason I even have the motivation to continue and I appreciate them so much. Writers always say this but we _reeeally_ appreciate your reviews even if it's only a sentence, it makes us know that you appreciate our crappy writing and it puts a smile on our faces so if you enjoy something always review, the fics will probably be updated quicker as well because the writer will be so happy and motivated ;)

To those that don't comment but read, thanks as well. I appreciate you too. Anyway, sorry for rambling.

Long story short, I'll try and update tomorrow and after that I'll try my best to update every Thursday until the story is finished. Please stick around and always share your opinions.

Thanks for your continued support. See y'all tomorrow. ^^ x


	19. Chapter 19

**AN: Again, sorry for the long ass wait. This chapter keeps things moving. We meet a new somewhat important character, Simon, we'll see some old characters like Gwaine and Ofgwaine in the ****_next _****chapter incase you're missing them. Anyway, hope you enjoy it. Let me know if you do! Thanks for reading. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 17: Growing Up<strong>

"Did you hear?" Caroline has a smile on her face. She's getting dressed as Arthur lays sleepy on the bed, barely awake, rubbing his eyes.

"Hear what?" It'd been about a fortnight since the picnic, Arthur still hadn't gotten the chance to speak to Guinevere or really come to terms with the fact that he was fathering her baby. The fertility problem was still very much a problem and Caroline was still content with keeping the reason behind it a secret.

"About Guinevere..." Caroline ties her hair up, leaving a few stray strands at the front, framing her face. She smiles at her reflection as she begins to rub her stomach.

Arthur tries not to show any emotion at the mention of Guinevere's name.

"Hear what about Guinevere?" He sits up, more awake now.

"She's gone and gotten herself pregnant." Caroline laughs. It hadn't yet occurred to her that Arthur could be the father.

Arthur feigns surprise.

"Oh, wow." He forces a smile.

"I know, it's quite hilarious. I don't know how she intends to take care of it."

Arthur forces a fake laugh.

"You want to know what makes it even more hilarious."

"What?"

"Apparently, Lancelot, you know The Guardian we hired," Caroline pauses as she walks over to the wardrobe, picking out a shirt for her husband, "well apparently, he's the father."

Arthur doesn't know how to react to that. He's silent.

"It's all very dramatic." Caroline turns to face Arthur, throwing him a shirt. He nods absent mindedly, unable to make sense of his emotions. Caroline notices. "Arthur, are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine." He forces a smile again.

"Good, because you've got that meeting, with the King of Brobwyn. We need this meeting to go well, Arthur. He's offering to trade crops and food supply with us."

"Yes, but at the cost of our men. We barely have enough knights as it is and he wants us to give them away for some potatoes." Arthur frowns.

"Arthur, we're running out of resources and frankly there's no point of having knights if all our people are dead from starvation." Caroline gives Arthur a soft smile.

"I know, I just can't help but feel like Camelot is a laughing stock, like I'm a laughing stock. I don't know how my father coped, and knowing King Roger, with his idiot of a son, this meeting will be a nightmare." Arthur forces a smile back.

"I'm sure it won't be that bad."

"Have you forgotten how much of an idiot Simon was?"

"I like to pretend I've forgotten."

The pair laugh. With Caroline, it's a genuine laugh... with Arthur, he couldn't help but still think about Guinevere and all the problems he was facing at the back of his mind.

* * *

><p>"When were you two planning on telling me that you thought it would be a good idea for Lancelot to pretend he fathered your baby and not the king?" Merlin stares at his two friends.<p>

"No time like the present?" Lancelot smiles. Merlin doesn't.

"I don't even have time to be angry, King Roger of Brobwyn is visiting and I have to make sure that the castle is spotless."

"Don't they have cleaners for that? I thought you were the King's personal servant not a common cleaner?" Guinevere frowns.

"Yeah, well, Queen Caroline really has it in for me these days."

"Are you going to be at the jousting event?" Lancelot asks.

"I have to." Merlin nods. "Part of my job description, _attend stupid events that take our minds off the big fertility problems_... all part of the job." He rolls his eyes. "I'll see you later," he runs off, leaving Guinevere and Lancelot alone. The stare at each other awkwardly. He places an affectionate hand on her shoulder, she half smiles.

"You're okay with this, right?" Lancelot asks, his brown eyes penetrating hers.

"Yes," Guinevere wasn't sure if she really was okay with it, but she knew she really had no choice. The real father of her baby was the king of Camelot, he was married and about to father his own child with his wife, it would never work out. As much as she wanted it to work out, she'd be stupid to hang on to the fairytale of her Arthur being together one day. It wasn't going to happen. She'd convinced herself of this and it made it easier for her to go along with Lancelot's idea.

"You're sure?" Lancelot asks again.

Guinevere nods. She smiles fully this time.

* * *

><p>"Arthur!" Simon, King Roger's son, beams as he notices Arthur. Arthur forces a fake smile.<p>

"Simon!" The pair embrace.

"Wow, last time I saw you was at your betrothal. Now you're King of Camelot and about to be a father." Simon is still smiling. Arthur is still forcing his.

"Yes. Look, I'd love to chat and catch up with you Roger but busy busy, have to organise the meeting with your father and the jousting event. I trust you'll be participating?" Arthur fakes interest.

"I was supposed to but my arm injury has reduced me to a mere spectator."

Arthur nods at Simon's response.

"Well, I must be going-", he tries to leave.

"-wait, I'll help you. What are you doing?" Simon follows after Arthur.

"Really, Simon I don't need your help. I'm sure my wife, Caroline, would love to catch up with you. She's probably in the meeting room, she'd be very pleased to see you."

Simon takes the hint.

He makes his way down to the meeting room, finding Caroline who is arranging some flowers, he smiles to himself.

"Caroline." He makes his presence noticed.

"Simon." Caroline politely responds. "I hope you're enjoying your stay in Camelot," she continues making her way closer to him.

"I am, I tried to have a catch up with Arthur but he seemed really busy, I guess it's all getting a bit much for him." Simon replies, a slight smirk on his face.

"It's not easy being king, you'll learn one day."

Simon nods.

"Congratulations on your baby by the way, it's somewhat miraculous I couldn't believe it when I was informed. The whole of Brobwyn was in shock, nonetheless we're very happy for you." He takes a seat as he begins playing with the flowers. Caroline tries to hide her irritation. She didn't like anyone touching her flowers.

"Thanks, we could hardly believe it ourselves." She begins rubbing her stomach.

"Miraculous might not even be the word to describe this. I mean, you were thought to be barren for years, you even hired a surrogate and now, almost by magic, you're pregnant. Come on, what's your secret?" Simon persists. Caroline doesn't know how to respond.

"I guess someone was looking down on us favourably." She manages to let out.

"Caroline, please stop patronising me." Simon's voice grows cold.

"I'm not patronising you, Simon and frankly I'm sure your father taught you better than to speak to a Queen, much less one with child, in such a disrespectful manner."

Simon laughs. Caroline doesn't.

"Everyone is suspicious of you. Do your people really believe your stupid little miracle story? Arthur must have a way with words like his father." Simon pauses, "so who's idea was it, yours or Arthur's?"

"Sorry?" Caroline still plays innocent.

"Who's idea was it to use magic to bear a child?"

Caroline is quiet. Her body frozen. What was she supposed to say?

"Magic is outlawed, Simon. You and I both know that."

"Magic is outlawed in Camelot, you could have easily travelled elsewhere, so who's idea was it? It was Arthur's wasn't it? He was acting so shifty just now, like a man with a secret. Did he convince you then? Made you see that it was for the greater good?"

"Why are you doing this, Simon? I thought we were friends."

Simon laughs even louder this time.

"You and Arthur always hated me, believe me the feeling was mutual. Being prince leaves me with a lot of free time, especially when our Kingdom is always in a good position, crops are always high, fertility high, no one dares launches an attack on us. It's very boring, I get a lot of time to consider things and whilst I really want to believe that your little baby there was a miraculous gift from the gods or the old religion looking down on you favourably, I'm really not that stupid." Simon stands, he moves closer and closer towards the queen until he is just inches away from her.

"You and Arthur always underestimated me. That was stupid of you." His warm breath lands on Caroline's face. She doesn't flinch.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You have every idea what I'm talking about. You know and that's why you're scared, you're shaking, look at you, you can barely breathe, you're scared your dirty little hypocritical secret will come out and your people will absolutely detest you. They'll hate you and they'll hate that baby too. _Lying barren queen_, it'll be hard to support that. Once the people hate you, Camelot is finished. You know that. That's why you did this. Look, I get it..."

"I didn't do anything."

Simon rolls his eyes.

"Why are you doing this? What do you have to gain from all this?" Caroline asks, still shaking.

"Nothing, really. I'm bored..."

"You're playing mind games with me because you're bored?" Caroline takes a step back, she could barely recognise the Simon in front of her. He was always annoying, an irritant, but this was evil. Simon was never evil.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Simon asks.

"You've changed." Caroline's voice is a soft whisper.

"And you haven't? You're empty, Caroline. We all are. It's called growing up."

"You two are early!" Merlin's voice interrupts the moment. The tension breaks and the pair of them force a smile.

"So are you, why are you here, Merlin?" Caroline asks bluntly.

"Arthur told me to give the room a quick clean." He turns to Simon, "he really wants to make a good impression on your dad. I guess because it's been so long since we all saw each-other last." Merlin smiles, Simon smiles back.

"I can't believe you're still scrubbing floors, Merlin. I always assumed once Arthur became king, you'd get some kind of promotion."

"Things change, Simon." Merlin's voice is cold.

"I can see that." Simon's eyes dart towards Caroline's, she avoids his gaze. "Well, I'm going to change into more appropriate clothing for the meeting. I'll see you all then." He walks out.

"There's something different about him." Merlin mutters to himself. Caroline ignores his remark.

"Have you said anything to him?"

"Sorry?"

"Merlin, have you spoken to Simon?"

"No, this is the first time I've seen him since his arrival." Merlin notices Caroline's demeanour. "Why? What's happened?"

"He knows."

"Knows what?"

"He knows about us using magic to get this baby." Caroline eyes are filled with panic.

"What do you mean 'us'?" Merlin drops his broom. "You _forced_ me to follow you and you're _making_ me keep this a secret. This isn't _my_ problem, this is _yours_."

"And I'm sure Arthur will forgive you for accompanying me and keeping this to yourself... stop being so naive, Merlin. You're involved in this whether you like it or not."

"How does Simon know?"

"I don't know, I don't know but he knows. We have to stop him, before he tells anyone before this gets out." Caroline's voice turns manic. Merlin doesn't know how to articulate his thoughts. How could Simon know?

"Unless he has concrete proof, it would just be speculation. Speculation is normal, right? We have to deal with speculation all the time, most of them are pretty change and regarded as mindless gossip. He has no proof, surely it's nothing to worry about." Merlin offers.

"I'm not going to wait for him to get concrete proof, Merlin."

"What are you suggesting?"

"I'm going to make sure he doesn't say anything he shouldn't." Caroline smiles to herself. Merlin stares at her, she wouldn't, would she?

"You're not seriously thinking about-" He pauses. "Caroline, you wouldn't..."

"I'm doing this for Camelot."

"You can't... he might not do anything with this information. You know how Simon is, he's a wind-up merchant." Merlin's eyes widen as he pleads.

"You might think this is a joke, Merlin but we're not little kids any more and frankly Simon has over-stayed his welcome."

"You're going to kill him." Merlin's voice is devoid of any emotion. "You're actually going to kill a man."

Caroline doesn't respond.

"Who are you? What has happened to you? Who did this to you?" Merlin felt like he was in mourning for his once friend.

"It's called growing up." Caroline's voice is cold, she walks out leaving Merlin alone.

* * *

><p>"Lancelot?" Guinevere calls out as the front door to her house opens. She'd assumed it was Lancelot returning from getting a few herbs. "Lancelot, did you get them?" She calls out again.<p>

"Guinevere." Arthur's voice. They stare at each other.

"What do you want?"

"Cosy, is he living with you now? Fathering your baby, sharing a house, he really works fast, that Lancelot." Arthur's voice is filled with subtle anger. Guinevere stands up, her hands firmly on her stomach.

"What do you want, Arthur?"

"How could you?" He looks down, containing his emotions. "Really? Pretending he's the father? I know I hurt you, Guinevere and I know you deserve better than me, than this, but that is _my _child. _Mine!_" Arthur screams. Guinevere is silent.

"You're trying to hurt me, is that it? Trying to make me feel half of the pain I made you feel? Is that what you're trying to do? Walking round with my baby and letting the world think that guardian penetrated and impregnated you? If you're trying to hurt me, Guinevere. It's working."

Guinevere laughs.

"For once, this isn't about you. This is about me. Oh, shock horror. I'm making decisions that aren't directly for you. Is that why you're hurt, Arthur? That I'm doing exactly what you to do to me? I mean you've _actually_ impregnated another woman. This child is yours, whether or not I go round saying it's Lancelot, it's yours. What more do you want from me? You _know_ I love you, you know that, you_ know_ I'm carrying your child and you _know_ I want to be with you, what more do you want? I am tired, I am sick and tired of you, of wanting you, of us, of me and you, Arthur and Guinevere, I want more. Is that so much to ask? I want more than to exist for you. I am not your surrogate any more, I am no longer yours. You have no right to make this about you!" Guinevere shakes with anger. Arthur's lost for words.

"So now you know, Arthur. Now you know why I'm calling Lancelot the father. Get out." She doesn't look at him. She can't.

"You know I'm supposed to be at a meeting right now. A meeting to get my kingdom some crops, my failing kingdom to go with my failing marriage to go with my failing existence as a man. Honestly, that meeting is the last place I want to be right now." Arthur's voice is casual. Guinevere is unsure how to take the sudden change in tone.

"I wish I wasn't King." Arthur runs his fingers through his hair. "I would gladly give this title away."

"Why don't you?"

"It's in my blood. It's my destiny. You can't run away from destiny, Guinevere."

"Try."

"Believe me, I've tried. I've tried to run away from duties as king. I've tried to stop loving you, but you can't run away from it. You know that as well as I do."

"I'm trying, Arthur. That's difference between me and you. You're not trying. You never try." Guinevere is still avoiding his gaze.

"I don't want to try. I'm going to go that meeting and I'm going to do my part. I'm going to be king because it's not only my duty, it's my destiny. I am destined to be king of Camelot. I am also destined to love you, we're destined to be together, Guinevere and I have no idea how it's going to happen or if it'll happen but that's our destiny. That's my destiny. I can't change it. I can't stop being drawn to you. I can't stop wanting you. I can't stop it, when I try, I hurt you. I am sick of hurting you-"

"If you're sick of hurting me, you'd leave me alone." Guinevere's eyes finally meet with his.

"It's not that easy, Guinevere."

"Make it that easy. You want to see me? Don't. You're thinking about me? Stop. It's what I do and it's working. We can't be together. Not like this, not whilst you're king. It can't be your destiny to be king and be with me-"

"-Yes it can." Arthur interrupts. "It can. It is."

"No it isn't." Guinevere wasn't going to be sucked in. "You only have one destiny, you can't have two, and you've made it clear to me time and time again that being king of Camelot is your destiny. I am an obstacle to that destiny, you have to let me go."

"Let's say you're right and being king is my one and only destiny, what's yours, Guinevere?" Arthur asks. Guinevere is taken aback.

"What?"

"What's your destiny? Come on, we all have one. What's yours?"

"I-I don't..."

"You don't know?" Arthur moves closer to her. His eyes firmly on hers.

"I don't care to know."

"Your destiny lies with mine." He takes her hand in his, caressing her fingers softly, before pressing a soft kiss on her cheek. "I promise you, Guinevere. I _promise_ you, I'll fix this." He sighs heavily. "I don't know how, but I will. I need to deal with the Kingdom first, you have to understand that... but I'll be with you. I promise you. I can't be without you. And you can't be without me. We're destined, Guinevere. Let's stop running away."

"You've promised me so many times." Guinevere buries her head in his shoulder, holding back her tears.

"I know," he rubs her hair, "I know I have, but I mean it this time. I'll end it with Caroline, I will and I'll be with you, I promise you, you have to believe me. I'll fix the kingdom, and we'll be together."

"What about the other baby, the heir?"

"You don't worry about that, okay? Just leave it with me. Don't worry."

* * *

><p>AN: So, what do you guys think? Do you believe Arthur for the umpteenth time? Will he really fix it? Is Gwen right to trust Arthur? Is Caroline gonna kill Simon? What are Simon's motives? Does Arthur know more than he's letting on? Let me know below!<em> (Sorry if this chapter seemed very melodramatic, I'm trying to keep things moving, I think you're all bored of the slow burn anyway)<em>


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